how do u know?

LegacyUser

how do you know when your not sexually attracted to your other half?? is it a slippery slope?? whats the signs?

Chucky the tree

eh, should it not be obvious?

dr.bollocko

Chucky the tree wrote:

eh, should it not be obvious?

QFT.
And I don't mean to Postcount ++ here but seriously.

challengemaster

yep i think it should be very obvious...

Misticles

would the op be asking if they thought it was obvious?! be fair! not everyone is clued in on that kind of stuff

Chucky the tree

Misticles wrote:

would the op be asking if they thought it was obvious?! be fair! not everyone is clued in on that kind of stuff

I just dont understand how you can explain to someone when they should know if they are sexually attracted to their other half.

Misticles

well clearly he or she dosnt know! they want to know what the signs are. surely somebody is going to know how to explain..

Doodee

normally it means they dont see the point in intercourse or being intimate with them beyond the realmsof just kissing and cuddling.

Lorax

If u dont wanna have sex with her thats a pretty good indication!

whiskeyman

how???? wrote:

how do you know when your not sexually attracted to your other half?? is it a slippery slope?? whats the signs?

I'd say questioning it is the first sign.

I wouldn't say its a slippery slope though. Perhaps you've lost sight of some aspect of whatever 'turned you on' about her. See if you can rekindle this and hopefully you'll be back in the mood again. Maybe a special aspect (doesn't have to be physical) that she has that others haven't.

good luck

dr.bollocko

Do you view the person as sexually appealing?
When you look at them do you ever get an internal "Raaarrr".
Do you still get the compulsion to jump their bones?
Does pleasing them sexually turn you on?
Would you still rate the sex as good / passionate?
I mean WTF? If you arent sexually attracted to someone, the prospect of sex with them isnt very interesting, so it should be pretty obvious based on your attitudes to sex with that person.
Do you find yourself yearning for a different lover?
Do you think of other people when making love?
Do you look at your partner sexually and see all the faults or all the good things? Your problem may well be that you lack the conviction to admit that your relationship is in trouble, and not whether or not you are sexually attracted to the person.
I would say, if you are asking the question, you know something is up. (Oh wait, I mean you know nothing is up?)

LegacyUser

how could we rekindle it?? we dont have sex all that often and thats my fault... thats why i am asking...you all seem to think i should know, well i dont thats why im asking.
thanks for replys

~nop~

dr.bollocko wrote:

(Oh wait, I mean you know nothing is up?)

haha nice one.

Basically i think if you look at them and dont feel anything, or think eww.

If you can look at them and see clearly their imperfections then thats a clear sign

Black Swan

how???? wrote:

how could we rekindle it??

Get out of the relationship rut you are in. Break routine. A fresh start? Can you two go on a romantic vacation? Jamaica, or some such place where it's warm, and you two can get into swim suits and play in the surf and sand?

Saruman

how???? wrote:

how do you know when your not sexually attracted to your other half?? is it a slippery slope?? whats the signs?

One answer... marriage

Happens to lots of men. After they are married they just do not care... I think we are programmed to look for a challenge.... If its there on a plate for the taking we just do not care as much... thats why most married couples do not have much sex.

Same can be said for a long term relationship.. its almost like marriage.
Does not matter how hot she is or how unatractive... if its there all the time you are less likely to want it.

Beruthiel

how???? wrote:

how could we rekindle it?? we dont have sex all that often and thats my fault

I presume it's a long term relationship and ye have just become comfortable?
Effort is required in order to keep a long term relationship alive.
Doing the same thing every night and getting into a routine can get comfy and you can just tend to not put the effort in that you would in a new relationship.
It's important you still do stuff together, leaving the house, going to a nice romantic restaurant, bottle of wine, nice chat, if by the time you get her home and you're not up for it, I'd be surprised.

CathyMoran

I think that relationships go through phases, the initial intensity does not tend to last, you just need to look at your other half in a sexual way again...have a special night out or something to rekindle the flames. Have been with my other half over 9 years and I love him more now than I ever thought that I could love someone...we are like a pair of newlyweds (and will be soon).

Catari Jaguar

how???? wrote:

we dont have sex all that often

That quite possibly the problem. The less you have it the less you need it/ miss it, often causes relationship to get stale from the lack of love chemicals etc. The more sex you have the hornier you get and you need it ALL the time, literally addicted to each other...

Are you male or female? If female it could be laziness or hormonal esp. if on pill etc

If you're male: are you depressed? do you have feelings for another person? confused about sexuality? bored with girlf and not love her?

LegacyUser

'

Lil Kitten wrote:

That quite possibly the problem. The less you have it the less you need it/ miss it, often causes relationship to get stale from the lack of love chemicals etc. The more sex you have the hornier you get and you need it ALL the time, literally addicted to each other...

Are you male or female? If female it could be laziness or hormonal esp. if on pill etc

If you're male: are you depressed? do you have feelings for another person? confused about sexuality? bored with girlf and not love her?

this can seriously lower your sex drive to nearly nothing!!!'