giving the wrong impression?

LegacyUser

ok i know this is a pretty trivial problem and im probably going to be slated but here goes.

in relation to the whole relationship/men/sex thing im a very late starter had my first kiss about 7 months ago at the grand old age of 21. Never really bothered me because it was mainly because i didn't go out with friends and do the whole nightclub scene.

Lately however i really would like to find someone to start a relationship with. As i said im a newcomer to the nightclub scene therein lies the problem. i'm not nieve enough to think im going to find the love of my life in a night club, but i really really seem to be attracting the wrong type of guys. At the risk of sounding full of myself (nothing could be further from the truth) I've been told numerous times im sexy, guys just seem to want to sleep with me, i do get hit on a lot more than my friends but when my friends do get chatted up by guys those guys aren't after sex. I on the other hand seem to attract guys who just want to get me into bed and have even told me this straight out. If i even kiss a guy he seems to immediately think im going to sleep with him. I don't dress slutty in fact my friends dress a hell of a lot sluttier than i do. Ocassionally i'll wear a fairly low cut top but thats about as riské as it gets! How do i stop attracting these type of guys, i really don't know where i'm going wrong?!
for the guys: If a girl kisses you surely it doesn't automatically mean you think the girls going to sleep with you??

~nop~

I'd watch out here, you're going to get slated for the nightclub mention, but you've already said you're not looking for the love of your life there so at least you have the right approach.

However the people who end up chatting you up is just the luck of the draw isnt it. It's not much to do with you at all, because they don't know you.

Lots of people are going to say it im sure, but look outside the club if its a relationship you're after. Chat to guys, rather than chatting them up.
And if you kiss a guy in a nightclub he is generally going to try his luck going further, but if you give a firm reply, and continue having a laugh with him, most guys will respect that.
Maybe, just maybe, you come across as shy, or unsure, and therefore the guy will see an attractive girl who looks like she doesnt know her own mind and so thinks he has a better chance. The whole "nice girl" thing and all that.

Mojito

maryanne-9 wrote:

for the guys: If a girl kisses you surely it doesn't automatically mean you think the girls going to sleep with you??

Only when kissing you. :rolleyes:

In IRL

hey maryanne-9
can u maybe PM me? im a 20year old guy who's kind of in the same situations as you are. lots of questions. do you want to trade some insights?:D ill check my PM later on tonight. don't worry if you don't want to don't bother PMing it's not a bother.

humbert

In IRL wrote:

hey maryanne-9
can u maybe PM me? im a 20year old guy who's kind of in the same situations as you are. lots of questions. do you want to trade some insights?:D ill check my PM later on tonight. don't worry if you don't want to don't bother PMing it's not a bother.

haha, chancer

Is the problem maybe that when you're out in night clubs you don't really enjoy the scene and this comes across as you lacking personality?

the guy the just want to sleep with you wont be bothered by this, not looking at anyone here:rolleyes: but the nicer guy who is out to meet someone to have some fun with ans get to know will not be as likely to chat to you!

Faith

maryanne-9 wrote:

for the guys: If a girl kisses you surely it doesn't automatically mean you think the girls going to sleep with you??

Ah, they'll always chance their arm! I love to go out to clubs and pick up random guys, but I never go home with them! I laugh when they ask me.

You already know that you're not going to meet the love of your life in a club, so why are you bothering trying? If you truely want to meet someone, take up a hobby, join a club, etc.

Black Swan

Some clubs are meat markets, so if you go to one of them, you increase the chances that someone is going to treat you accordingly. Some pubs are that way too, so ask around to find out the rep of a club or pub. I wouldn't go to a pub or club to hook up with someone new, but only go there to drink, dance, and have fun with someone I already knew.

Seek alternatives to clubs. If you're a student, join a SOC that speaks to your interests and has a good mix of young singles (If not a student, then find a voluntary group). House parties of your friends could also be a good place to meet someone new, so ask around and get invited, especially during the holidays.

biko

maryanne-9 wrote:

If a girl kisses you surely it doesn't automatically mean you think the girls going to sleep with you??

Well no, but if she is drunk in a nite club chances are increased by 75% compared to if she kisses me in a pub.
If a guy kisses you it usually means he would have sex with you too, we are simple creatures that way.

Kimbot

A lot of the time the kiss leads to sleeping with each other so the presumption will be there!!!