Love and stuff

LegacyUser

Ok I'm sorry in advance, you've probably seen the equal of this thread a million times or will think im a troll or something stupid but here goes;

I was going out with this guy for a good 6 months, first proper relationship really for both of us, I'm 17 he's 18, and I do love him no matter if you think that's impossible at our age or what.

He was pretty clueless with girls though I have to say and perhaps felt threatened that I had kissed a lot more guys than he had girls. We also broke up one time before in the summer over something spontaneous but we got back together straight afterwards.

I broke up with him about 3 months ago over a stupid fight that actually was his fault, and I kind of presumed we'd get back together after that because we were still telling each other how much we loved each other etc.

3 months on he's got a new girlfriend. Fair enough you say. But he says he still loves me, that im the first love of his life. They're only going out for about a week and they haven't even met up yet, and he is basically only using her for a score, but he knows i still like him because I've told him myself. However he just doesn't seem to be doing anything about it.

I know I'm young, and it seems like a stupid immature problem and my common sense should tell me what to do, and I really shouldn't be consulting a bunch of internet strangers anyway, but I just can't get over him. And yes I have kissed other guys since, and I really don't want to come off as the desperate ex-girlfriend because I'm not, I just want him.

Dors1976

pi42 wrote:

But he says he still loves me, that im the first love of his life.

The first love of your life will always have a specialy place in your heart, doesn't necessarily mean it's forever.:(

pi42 wrote:

However he just doesn't seem to be doing anything about it.

maybe he's waiting for you to make the first move?

pi42 wrote:

I really don't want to come off as the desperate ex-girlfriend because I'm not, I just want him.

Then you need to tell him, not us. Be honest with him and then he will know where you stand and hopefully you will get to hear his side.

Black Swan

pi42 wrote:

3 months on he's got a new girlfriend. Fair enough you say. But he says he still loves me, that im the first love of his life. They're only going out for about a week and they haven't even met up yet, and he is basically only using her for a score, but he knows i still like him because I've told him myself. However he just doesn't seem to be doing anything about it.

Me thinks that you have answered your own question? First love's are special, but they rarely last.

spinandscribble

do you want someone who's just using this other girl? maybe he wants more girls and might still love ya but this new phrase of girls is more important to him.
be direct. ask him why is he with someone new if he wants you. stop pussy footing around.

lpool2k05

i agree that you need to be straight with him asap....say how you feel,find out how he feels and go from there!!do it soon so you know his response!!Face to face would be better and who knows ya may have a brill xmas 2gether!!

Your never too young for love!!!

Best of Luck!!

tbh

pi42 wrote:

I know I'm young, and it seems like a stupid immature problem and my common sense should tell me what to do, and I really shouldn't be consulting a bunch of internet strangers anyway, but I just can't get over him. And yes I have kissed other guys since, and I really don't want to come off as the desperate ex-girlfriend because I'm not, I just want him.

it's not a stupid problem at all - the pain you're feeling is totally real - I really feel for ya it's an awful thing, but unfortunately it's just one of those things that we all have to go through - it helps you to grow up, mentally. Everything you are going through will teach you something that will help you later in life. One thing I have to tell you - you will be a totally different person when you are , say, 22, than you are now. The differences will mostly be good, and all will be a result of things that happen between now and then. I know that doesn't really help you now tho, just wanted to let you know that it doesn't last forever.

There's nothing you can really do about this guy, to be honest, but what you can do is concentrate on getting the most enjoyment you can out of your life in general - you were happy before you met this guy, and you will be again. Spend time with your mates, your family - probably your studies :mad: and don't tie up the thoughts of being happy with the thoughts of being with this guy. Try not to mope - I know that's hard, but with discipline you can do it. Don't indulge in day-dreams - if you want to day-dream about being in a relationship, imagine a stranger, rather than your ex. When you find yourself thinking about him, make yourself change the subject. And don't indulge him - if he wants to break up with this girl - grand. If not - grand. But he's not the only guy around, and you know he might not even be the one you count as your first 'real' love.

Steyr

pi42 wrote:

They're only going out for about a week and they haven't even met up yet

ha ha ha ha thats priceless.

Just go get him if you want him.

insane drummer

this is very similar to what happened with me and my current girlfriend! accept im like your ex. id advice you to ring him asking to meet up or say on the phone just how much and how strongly you feel about him, and suggest what you would like to do, that way, u know uve gotin everything off your chest if the worst dose happen and ye don't get together. but if what he says is try then i can see ye getting back together with in a hour of your ringing him!
good luck and have a merry Christmas:D

LegacyUser

'Thank you so much for the replies!! Really means a lot. And it really shouldn't be such a problem, I just never get this messed up over guys and it hurts, you know.

The problem is I thought that I told him how I felt, but I don't know if he really got the picture because of how much he had already messed up I suppose. More than anything I don't want to come across as desperate, because I am a girl who can easily get guys, and I just feel this will lead to him taking me for granted or losing the thrill of the chase or however you want to put it.

Also the thing with him being less experienced than me means that all of a sudden girls are now becoming interested in him, and I suppose he feels he needs to catch up on me or something.

I just don't get how one minute he can be telling me that he loves me and yet not doing anything about it. I suppose I need to either make another move or cut contact but I'm generally the person being chased after so I haven't a clue how to do this, and as for cutting contact, I just don't think I can.

Any more help, advice, anything appreciated!! Thank you guys so much!'

LegacyUser

'Here also one last question; seen as it's me who broke up with him does this mean that it's me who has to ask him out again? Could this be the issue here by any chance or am i just clinging at straws?'

Mighty_Mouse

Guy gets a new girl............ex comes running. A constant in life from the age of 15 - 65!

They're only going out for about a week and they haven't even met up yet

Teenage love 2007 style!

Let me get this straight. You broke up with him over something stupid?
1st mistake: only ever END a relationship over something seriously significant .ie cant live with

Then you scored all round you for a while?
2nd mistake. Hardly gonna make a lad come chasing.

IMO dont score anyone for a couple of weeks. Ring him, text him ..............whatever he used to.

Meet him. Tell him how you feel. Dont look for an answer straight away. Let him think about it (cos boys only think with their brains when a woman is gone).

You'll know once and for all either way.