rural true story jokes

pjbrady1

A thread where actual events you have seen/heard/been told that could only happen in rural Ireland ...........

Boys u12 match in county Offaly. Young lads are all gathered in for the half time talk. The opposition are beating the lard out of them. Over comes the manager. LADS WHAT ARE YE AT, YERE LYING DOWN, WILL YE SHTAND UP TO THEM LIKE MEN, USE YERE SHOULDERS.....
Next thing a soft young lad turns away to teammate and puts his hand out for a large Lucozade sport drinking bottle.
HEY, HEY, WHAT ARE YA AT!
"I'm having some drink"

Manager grabs the drinks bottle and ROARS "I'LL GIVE YE LUCOZADE F**ING SPORT" and kicks the bottle thirty yards down the pitch.

phantom_lord

beans wrote:

True story.

.:rolleyes:

Zapp Brannigan

pjbrady1 wrote:

A thread where actual events you have seen/heard/been told that could only happen in rural Ireland ...........

Boys u12 match in county Offaly. Young lads are all gathered in for the half time talk. The opposition are beating the lard out of them. Over comes the manager. LADS WHAT ARE YE AT, YERE LYING DOWN, WILL YE SHTAND UP TO THEM LIKE MEN, USE YERE SHOULDERS.....
Next thing a soft young lad turns away to teammate and puts his hand out for a large Lucozade sport drinking bottle.
HEY, HEY, WHAT ARE YA AT!
"I'm having some drink"

Manager grabs the drinks bottle and ROARS "I'LL GIVE YE LUCOZADE F**ING SPORT" and kicks the bottle thirty yards down the pitch.

Sorry dude, this is a humour forum.

Capt'n Midnight

beans wrote:

<snip> From Wexford. True story.

I've heard of a Wexford guy who had sex with someone else's sister :eek:



edit:
forgot to snip that earlier
Rabies

The Hill Billy

I'm having sex with a Wexford guy's sister.

Not at this precise moment though.

mc nuggets

Hill Billy wrote:

I'm having sex with a Wexford guy's sister.

Not at this precise moment though.

I should hope not.... That sort of thing leaves you with a very sticky keyboard

pjbrady1

Rural true stories is the name of the thread, if you want to post weak 1 dimensional wexford sister jokes go to another thread. My story has imagery/truth/gaeldom. I am also the King of Modesty
Would not expect it to go down well in Cafe en Sein though, God humour in that place is crude, was meeting friend there don't normally go there.
"Goys, goys, we're over in Prague an oim with this local bird roight.... blah, blah" an ye got drunk, n r*de all around ye.

duckmusic

When I was younger (around 12) we had a football manager who no one took seriously. Any way he was trying hard to establish his dominance and when someone tried to leave the dressing room before all the jerseys were given out he kicked the door shoot before they could leave. After about two mins when everybody had their jerseys on we tried to leave but the door had been kicked so hard it couldn't be opened from the inside. We were stuck inside till the ref came looking for us. Very funny:D

Celticfire

pjbrady1 wrote:

A thread where actual events you have seen/heard/been told that could only happen in rural Ireland ...........

Boys u12 match in county Offaly. Young lads are all gathered in for the half time talk. The opposition are beating the lard out of them. Over comes the manager. LADS WHAT ARE YE AT, YERE LYING DOWN, WILL YE SHTAND UP TO THEM LIKE MEN, USE YERE SHOULDERS.....
Next thing a soft young lad turns away to teammate and puts his hand out for a large Lucozade sport drinking bottle.
HEY, HEY, WHAT ARE YA AT!
"I'm having some drink"

Manager grabs the drinks bottle and ROARS "I'LL GIVE YE LUCOZADE F**ING SPORT" and kicks the bottle thirty yards down the pitch.

beans

Didn't mean to offend, just feeling flippant at the time as I didn't think this was a suitable 'humour' thread exactly. Or maybe I just didn't see the humour? Keep em coming, by all means show me what it's all about

Mossy Monk

best thread ever