is this a problem with me, or her?

LegacyUser

going unregistered for this, cos i have a few friends who know my user name on this!

right, this is the jist of it. my girlfriend cant seem to keep the small, but important to me, promises she makes me. for some reason she gets a rash, and throws up a lot when she drinks orange juice lately. i asked her to not drink it for a while and see then, she didn't do that at all, then when she got sick a few more times from it, i asked her to promise me she wouldn't for a while, and she said yea, she would, two days later she drank it. when i found out by mistake, she didn't say sorry, or anything, just told me to stop worrying. she did the same with two other things since then and that was last week, kinda snapped at her about it today at lunch and were going to talk about it later when i go to hers, but is this a problem i have, or her. she always keeps the major promises, its just the small ones she dosn't, any help?

Minto

Personally, I think it could be a problem with ye both! On one hand, shes breaking promises to you but on the other hand (speaking from personal experience), some people think only big promises count and that breaking a little one is no big deal. You should sit her down and have a word with her about the fact it bothers you, it set me straight anyway, so it might work for her!

Hope this helps!!

Fanny Cradock

Huh?

Deciphering that is difficult.

Anywho, she sounds like an idiot if she continues to consume something that she is allergic to.

LegacyUser

yea Minto that helps a lot thanks! planed on doing that in a hour or two anyways, been texting her and u seam to have it summed up right there anyways! thanks!

sceptre

If your girlfriend knows that drinking orange juice will cause her to throw up and break out in a rash but does it anyway, she's a bit of an idiot.

Having said that, if she's breaking three small promises to you in under a week, just how many times are you getting the girl to say "I promise..."? Only one person's asked me to make a promise to them in the last year-odd, as it happens it was recently and it was important to both of us or she wouldn't have asked, nor would I have asked for a reciprocation. If solemn promises are two-a-penny you can count on their importance being diminished and the regard for their keeping being equally deprecated.

Ruu_Old

Why does she continue to drink it if allergic? Sit her down and tell her to cop on, I mean you can't be around all the time to look after her and seeing if she breaks her promises or not.

LegacyUser

sceptre wrote:

just how many times are you getting the girl to say "I promise..."?

ooh no, i meant promises that she made to me over the course of our friendship/ relationship, which is just under two years.

vorbis

drinking something you're allergic to is a bit daft. On the other hand. its also not something I'd make someone promise to me not to do. That comes off as a bit controlling. Don't be at her about it, i'd imagine she'll figure out its bad for her at some point!

Victor

Are you sure shes telling the truth about the OJ?

~nop~

I wouldnt be too upset over it op, she obviously get some sort of a kick out of it, but as long as its just the orange juice.

If any of the others are less trivial have a talk with her about it ok.

Black Swan

What? Not sure if your OJ example is just an example of fibbing, or of something else? Well, I'll take a long shot... Your g/f has an OJ prob? Then she throws up? This is happening a lot? Are you sure that OJ is the prob and not something else? Could she be having morning sickness and blaming it on OJ?

jimmycrackcorm

I hardly think breaking a promise about not drinking OJ has any value whatsover!

Chinafoot

vorbis wrote:

drinking something you're allergic to is a bit daft. On the other hand. its also not something I'd make someone promise to me not to do. That comes off as a bit controlling. Don't be at her about it, i'd imagine she'll figure out its bad for her at some point!

Totally agree with that tbh.

You said that "for some reason she gets a rash, and throws up a lot when she drinks orange juice lately." I'm assuming that she's had orange juice before without any of the rashes or throwing up?

Perhaps your girlfriend isn't convinced that it's the orange juice that is causing the problem. Maybe she just really likes orange juice and wants to drink it.

Personally, I think you're being a bit dramatic over this and it does sound a tad controlling. You can't tell her what to drink/eat/do in any sitation. She can do what she wants and you most definitely shouldn't expect her to make promises on such things. Sure you're concerned, I'm sure she is too, but it's not really up to you to make demands on what she drinks.

If your girlfriend keeps the big, important promises then why are you stressing out over the small stuff?

Beruthiel

Unreg78955 wrote:

right, this is the jist of it. my girlfriend cant seem to keep the small, but important to me, promises she makes me.

I rarely ask anyone to make me a promise unless it's very important. I also rarely make a promise unless I am 150% sure I can stand by it, my word is my bond, anyone who knows me, knows that.
With regards to the oj, it's her body, if she wishes to be totally silly about it, let her, she's a grown up and responsibe for her own actions. You've told her what you think, leave it at that.

Mighty_Mouse

I can understand if its a bad rash on her face or something.
But otherwise its her body, she can do whatever the hell she likes with it.
Tbh I would just spend my time laughing at her while not tolerating any moaning when the rash comes.