Overheard in Dublin

Hagar

A few funnies from Overheard in Dublin. (Some bad language).

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While having lunch with the lads while working in Dublin Airport the conversation turns to the mots.
First bloke: "So how's the new mot, whats she like?"
Second Bloke: "Ah jaysus yeah, she's lovely, has red hair!"
First Bloke: "really, and does the carpet match the curtains?"
Second Bloke: "I don't bleeedin know, i was never in her gaff!!!"
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Young son was telling us about an incident at school the previous day and used the F word, to the horror of my wife and I. He didn't realise
that by repeating it he was also saying it, but try as I might, he could not grasp the reasoning and constantly insisted that he didn't say it but Anthony

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did.
I told him to keep away from the lad who swore and not play with him. I left it for several days and asked " You haven't been swearing have you?" Annoyed he said "Dad I wasn't me it was Anthony

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, but I told him that my dad said I was not to play with him"
"Good boy" I said "and what did he say to that" He said "F*** your dad"
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Large out half playing rugby for St Sylvesters, gets pulled up by the ref for some tackle.
Rugby player to Ref " If I called you a bollox could you send me off?"
Ref " Yes!"
Rugby player " If I just think your that your a bollox, could you send me off?"
Ref " what? I dunno, probably not"
Rugby player " I think your a bollox"
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Overheard a bloke on the Luas telling his mate about the phone call he got in work whilst trying to hold in the laughter "he was askin' me whats Jacks number? I didn't know what he was on about till he read out the instructions to me. Yer man told me that it says unplug mains cable and telephone jack...he wanted to bleedin know what jacks no. was!!!"
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It happened about ten years ago after a family funeral when friends and family ended up in a local bar. My uncle and myself were in the toilets when a guy walks in and said "Howya Tony, whats the story" I could tell my uncle was having a problem recognising this guy and replied "Grand, but how do you know my name?" - "It's me Charlie, I sat beside you in school" To which came the reply "I never sat beside a baldy kid in class"
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Years ago on Larry Gogans quiz.
Larry: "Name a town in Kildare that sounds like a part of the body?"
(The answer is meant to be Athy)

Female contestant: "Kilcock...."
Larry: "They didn't suit you....!"
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Larry: "Where's the mir space station situated??"
Contestant "Emmmm....Germany???"
Larry: "NO!!.....Space!!!"
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Working in Dunnes Stores a few years ago. Myself and all the part time staff were just sitting down to have lunch in the canteen, when all of us ( lads ) hear the conversation between two checkout girls behind us.

It went like this.

Girl #1: "You headin out after work tonight?"
Girl #2: "Ah yeah gonna go home for a wash first though"
Girl #1: "Yeah, ye wanna wash yer bleedin gee as well in case yeh geh any"
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While working in McDonald's early one morning, a customer asked me:
"What do you have for breakfast?"
To which I replied (and I'm quite proud of this!): "Usually just a cup of coffee and a slice of toast."
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A dub mate of mine had had a few beers and time was ticking away on the night and he hadnt scored so he approached a culchie girl and tried his luck.

Mate: "Hows it going? Would you like to dance?"
Girl: "NO!!!!"
Mate: "You must have misheard me, I said you have fat legs."
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Second hand story, but verified by a few people
John is so drunk outside the pub he doesn't even notice his mate in a fight outside the pub. His mate gets an awful slap that puts him out cold to which someone says, someone better call him an ambulance. John slumps of the wall, goes over to his mate and says to him, "Your a bleedin ambulance!"
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Wishbone Ash

Hagar wrote:

Large out half playing rugby for St Sylvesters

:eek: Is that part of the funny story? - St Sylvesters is a GAA Club.

JackieChan

Wishbone Ash wrote:

:eek: Is that part of the funny story? - St Sylvesters is a GAA Club.

I wouldn't over analyze some of these jokes!!!

r3nu4l

Ok, so Overheard in Dublin is often a euphamism for 'MadeupandpostedonOverheardin Dublin'..but they're still funny

Mad Dog

Great site

marie_85

True Story:

Used to work in a call centre. One old lady said to one of the sales reps "I don't believe in credit cards."

His reply: "I can assure you, madam, they do exist"