friend or boyfriend?

LegacyUser

With a guy for a little over 2 months and from day one Ive been wondering do I fancy him? (I unfortunately have a tendancy to overthink things in a major way) At the start, I really enjoyed his company, got on well ec but there didnt seem to be that spark, like that weak at the knees feeling you get when you kiss etc.

I decided to give it a chance though, because I really enjoyed going out places with him, and also I had been with a guy about 3 months previously which was all spark and that ended suddenly and left me pretty hurt, so wasnt sure if I was just being a bit closed off.

Now 2 months down the line, when Im not with this guy, I miss him and want to be with him. But when I am, although I enjoy his company, there still isnt that spark...sometimes there is, but not a lot.

I have opinions of friends, and my own, but I'd love to hear those of an unbiased view, who obviously dont know me.

Is this guy just a friend to me...or could it be more?

LegacyUser

'Can you be more brutally honest by what you mean when you say "spark"? Do you mean conversation is a bit stiff, there's no flirting, there's no sexual tension...? Are you comfortable with the kissing and etc.?'

LegacyUser

I find myself in the same position as the guy in your story. I'm wondering do I know you in fact Basically I don't know if she likes me in 'that way' or not and it wrecks my head. I'm building myself up to asking her straight out, er, soon

Back to your situation... He may grow on you, he may not. But I think that the sooner you decide what your feelings are the better.

It's a tough one, OP. If you dont fancy him it may mean loosing him as a friend as well. Despite this it would be best for both of you in the long run to do something about it.

However, I want to end on a positive note, so i advise not to do anything rash! You may realise in time that, yes, he is the person for you. In the coming days and weeks you have a wee bit of soul searching to do.

Good Luck!

LegacyUser

Conversation, flirting, all that is lovely. But you know that...like tingle when you kiss someone you really like....its not really there. Like the mind wanders a bit.

Black Swan

confused? wrote:

Now 2 months down the line, when Im not with this guy, I miss him and want to be with him. But when I am, although I enjoy his company, there still isnt that spark...sometimes there is, but not a lot.

You can miss friends, enjoy their company, and want to be with them. Down the road, friends can somtimes become lovers, but then again, just good friends too.

LegacyUser

Blue_Lagoon wrote:

You can miss friends, enjoy their company, and want to be with them. Down the road, friends can somtimes become lovers, but then again, just good friends too.

yup they're my thoughts exactly

I just hate the thought that I could end up hurting him down the road y'know!!

~nop~

I have to say though that I was in this position a while back, and if you're considering breaking up make sure it's the right thing to do. If you miss him a lot or if he's on your mind a lot during the day then make sure you know what you're giving up. At the end of the day the spark only counts for so much, and good company counts for a lot.

LegacyUser

wonderful_life wrote:

I find myself in the same position as the guy in your story. I'm wondering do I know you in fact Basically I don't know if she likes me in 'that way' or not and it wrecks my head. I'm building myself up to asking her straight out, er, soon

Back to your situation... He may grow on you, he may not. But I think that the sooner you decide what your feelings are the better.

It's a tough one, OP. If you dont fancy him it may mean loosing him as a friend as well. Despite this it would be best for both of you in the long run to do something about it.

However, I want to end on a positive note, so i advise not to do anything rash! You may realise in time that, yes, he is the person for you. In the coming days and weeks you have a wee bit of soul searching to do.

Good Luck!

haha oh dear, well if I'm soon asked straight out, we know where we both stand eh, lol

Aye Id hate to do anything rash and regret it later. Sames as what you're saying ~nop~. I'll give it a bit...as I said, I would just really hate to end up hurting him. Actually I wish I could just switch off my brain, I overthink things far too much *grumble*

Húrin

confused? wrote:

With a guy for a little over 2 months and from day one Ive been wondering do I fancy him? (I unfortunately have a tendancy to overthink things in a major way) At the start, I really enjoyed his company, got on well ec but there didnt seem to be that spark, like that weak at the knees feeling you get when you kiss etc.

How did you (or he) initiate this relationship?