Any help at Christmas?

joeybloggs

Good day my christmas chatting Chumps,

Problems seem to be persistent around this time of year and im no exception to these problems.Im an eighteen year old fresher boy from Wicklow so please excuse my naivete.
Last sunday i broke up with my girlfriend.Why?Thats what she kept saying.Not quite sure myself really.I gave her some rush of the blood to the head excuse that i didn't want to be in a relationship anymore.After a few days ive realised i still don't know why i broke up with her.It started me thinking.Last week i was out with her and her friends. It was a great night out until near the end of the night when one of her friends confronted me an asked me did i 'Love" her.After that i just assumed she 'loved me'( At this point i would like to inform the people that interfere in their friends relationship to Stop.Advice- good .Interference- Bad )After breaking up with her i do not think she was in love with me, just more attached.
Now i don't want to sound bitchy or anything but this is not what most eighteen year old guys have on their mind.Love to me is the magician who's amazing tricks a i have yet to few.Its looks great on TV and all but the only love i have is with my family, friends and for a large packet of Haribo Starmix.So we broke up.My real reason, didn't love her, so thought I would be leading her on.
My problem now is my Confusion.Its Thursday and for the last four days its felt like i've lost a limb.I now have serious regret whether my decesion last sunday was the right one.But this is my problem and only I can come to this conclusion.
However your assistance is needed, if i do decide i want to get back with her.
How do i do it?I havn't talk to her since the break up so what should i do? Would she really want to get back together after i broke up with her?

dceire

If as you said you dont "love" her and would only be leading her on then no, leave things as they stand. Your probably just feeling a bit well odd at the moment because your used to the relationship thing and you just need to give it some time for the dust to settle and move on.

cornbb

What reasons for breaking up with her did you start off with? It must have been something. Maybe you really and simply just don't want to be in a relationship, and thats fine. Its all too easy to start kicking yourself for doing that after the deed is done, and you can quickly lose sight of why you broke up with someone in the first place. Thats why its important to remember the initial reasons you broke up with her.

Think long and hard before deciding if you really should be asking for her back. If you genuinely think thats the right thing to do, bear in mind that while a reunion might make one or both of you happy in the short term, the same problems might reemerge down the line, and if they do they will be more severe. Whatever the emotional effect on you, you will probably end up creating even more severe headf*ck for your ex.

If you do decide to ask for her back you must be apologetic and you must explain yourself. This means sorting your own head out first. Therefore it might be a good idea to wait for a while and reflect on things before making a decision. If you decide NOT to ask for your girl back, it must be a final decision and you must then give her space to allow both of you to get on with your lives.

Love hurts, but always remember you're only 18 and there are tons of fish in the sea.

Best of luck.

~nop~

I was in pretty much this exact same situation a while back, except i left it too late to ask to get back with him, and now hes got someone else.

I regret it like hell, but you're not me i suppose. All im saying is think long and hard about whether you want her back, but if you do, don't dilly dally about going about it. Just text her or ring her up and say "can we talk" and when you get there say you want her back, you miss her like you're missing a limb etc and you're sorry, you just needed space or some such excuse.

Hope it works out either way!

Black Swan

joeybloggs wrote:

Its Thursday and for the last four days its felt like i've lost a limb.I now have serious regret whether my decesion last sunday was the right one.

Why don't you invite her for coffee, or tea, or lunch and discuss this with her? Find out her feelings, too? She might say "No!" Then again, she might say "OK." Worth a try, and it might help both of you to understand the "Why" breakup or "Why not" try again?

BobTheBeat

Sounds like a knee jerk reaction to a bit of doubt in your mind. Happens people all the time, especially when your a bit younger and considering relationships.

Thing is, you really need to have a think to yourself about whether or not you'd be better off with/without her. Examine your reasons for breaking up with her more closely and weigh up your true feelings.The sense of Loss and heart-break will probably cloud your judgment at this point,so perhaps you could write down the good things you feel you had together.

Chin up!

joeybloggs

Thanks for your advice guys. I think dceire's was most helpful.I think moving on is the best option, and lucky for me theres a Party on tonight,perhaps if im lucky tonight ill be back in another couple of months with some more problems for ya.

Merry Crimbo

joeybloggs

Recent Developments have been made my boarbary buddies of boopolicious bickering.From my last post you will see that I was of to a party, to hopefully just enjoy myself and catch up with old friends.
Unfortunetely things did not go as smoothly as planned.
I remember like it was yesterday..... My friend Jack(Daniels) and I were walking down Rathmines hand in hand, thinking that we were going have a funfilled night.All I wanted to do was have a 'couple' of drinks with some friends.
At this point I would like to inform you , that unlike the average eighteen year olds,I pride myself on my drinking habits.Im normally an extremely Positive person so drink dosen't give me too much of a kick.So I normally drink very little.
Anyway back to the story,After been ushesered inside by the host I took my time to scan the room to see what familiar faces could be indentified.And the trouble started. Ex-Girlfriend Best Friend 1 (Best f 1 ). It was quite scarey really her head seem to turn cooly like that Baby in that movie ( I think its Trainspotting) yet at an Obtuse 60 degrees, and the expression, well, it was like......*&^Missing Text^*^. Yeh that Bad.I splashed an akward wave and retreated to the outside porch where I enjoyed chatting with some people who I hadn't seen for a while.Imagine me thinking that would be the end of it.Fooloish.
After a bit, Best F 1 came out with her friend and sat beside me.For a full ten minutes she just stared at me,trying to catch my eye. I wasn't here to talk to her,so I kept ignoring her Ice Queen glare and continued talking to the other people.After growing impatient she confronted me asking me, have I talked to my Ex yet.( she already knew the answer) No. Why? she asked. "I thought it would be weird,i was gona text there on wednesday,but kinda thought it would be uncomfotable,i still have the Msg on my Drafts"(I really do). Well maybe you should! she replied coldly. Lucky for me somone else asked me something so I was able divert my attention.
Before I go on, I would like to point out that I do like Best F1, which is unusual cause I have always felt resentment from her towards me,probably cause sometimes my Ex decided to go out with me and not with her.Despite that, I still think she is a lovely bright girl.
So the Party continued,and the drink flew.At this point I had now enforced Mick's Law.

Mick's Law states that no individual should talk/make seroius decesions about Financial/Relationship/Health/etc while in an Intoxicated State.

So I burned the candles through the night laughing and joking as one does on these occasions.Then Best F 2 entered.

Best F 2 is also a lovely girl, a little quarky at times but great fun.

She too confronted me,asking me why I broke up with her.By now Mick's law was well in place.I shoveled some answer saying I don't want to talk about this why im drunk,talk to me tomorrow. about..... Its here where Best F2 came out of her icy castle( The middle of nowhere) and got between us(like she was breaking up a fight) saying "He's not worth it' "He's not worth it' pushing Best F2 away from me. Don't want to sound too fruity but that was extremly hurtful.I can understand she's upset because i broke up with her friend, but her actions were uncalled for.
Anyway five minutes later I find Best F2 outside crying.( Womens Tears are one of my three weaknesses.Jack Daniels and Feelings been the other two)
Aparently she was crying over me, saying me and my Ex were 'meant to be together!'' Again Mick's law was in place. I said 'im not talking about this, text me tomorrow if you want to talk about it then.'' and that was that.She drove home with her boyfriend.They had been at the party for only an hour.
Before the party ended,Best F1 had another go of trying to probe me for information.But again I stuck to my guns and told her to text me tomorrow when im not drunk.
So thats that,Party was a bit of a downer with this trouble and later I have to talk to these two.So what does everyone think of my situation? Has anyone else has this kind of trouble?

Ill keep you posted on what happens next guys, I have a feeling this story is not over.

To be continued...........

Moojuice

Man you are only 18, you are going to get this shot from these girls. I am guessing they are 17-19 years old or such. Its what girls of this age do, its a teenage drama. If you dont want to go out with their friend then dont, its none of their business. You did the right thing, be civil but firm in not engaging them.

Here comes the cliche....................you have the rest of your life ahead of you, dont worry about it. You will experience plenty more off this kind of thing so just take it easy and get on with things.

padser

Joeybloggs I love your writing. You should post here more often....even with trivial problems!!!! Really funny!

Anyway advice wise, I'd enforce Micks law at all times and just give ur Ex a while (6 months to a year) to cool off before doing anything. If she really wants you she will come running back!