Should I give up and try to move on?

LegacyUser

I recently moved in to a house with a friend of mine, and two girls. I knew one of the girls before I moved in, but the other one I'd only really met a few times, but kinda fancied. Right from the start we got on really well, the only trouble was that she had a bf she'd been seeing for a number of years. He'd just moved away for work, so they were only seeing other every now and again. By this point I really liked her, but wasn't going to try anything since she was already in a relationship. After a few weeks though, her bf broke up with her out of the blue, which left her understandably upset. She put on a brave face and tried to get on with things, but I knew from talking to her that she was really upset and messed up over the whole thing.

A few weeks later things started to get a bit better though; anytime we ended up drinking together there'd always be a bit of flirting, and although it never led to anything she was flirting back. We were all out one night, and one of my mates, who I'd been talking about the situation to, pulled her aside and let her know exactly how I felt. I hadn't really planned on saying anything since I knew she still wasn't over her ex. She came up to me later that night, and without saying anything started kissing me. When we finally started chatting she told me what my friend had said and that basically she really did like me, but wasn't ready for any sort of relationship until she'd gotten her head straightened out. We had both had a few drinks by now and despite what we had just said, we snuck off home together, but kinda sobered up along the way and decided to just leave things as they were. I was fine with that, as I'd known before all this that she wouldn't be ready for anything and had made my peace with that.

That was all fine until about 2 weeks later, when I heard her come home with a guy one night. I couldn't help but feel miserable and jealous. This has now happened a few times in the last few weeks, and it's really messing with my head. Logically I know that she's single and can do whatever she wants, and I've talked to other female friends who have been in similar breakup situations and said that they kinda did go wild for a while before they were ready for anything serious. We still get on really well and end up spending a fairly large amount of time together, and there is still the odd bit of mild flirting going on. But at this point I'm kinda wondering if what she'd said the night we kissed was just her trying to let me down gently, or if she actually meant it. She had also said to me that same night that she wasn't the sort of person to go for one-night stands, and while I know that a tough breakup can make people think differently about the opposite sex for a while, it still makes me doubt everything else a bit.

So basically I'm just wondering, should I just give up on her and try and move on, or should I just accept that she needs to blow off a bit of steam and hope that afterwards something might happen between us?

(By the way, apologies for the long post, I kinda just needed to vent a bit)

Ruu_Old

It is making you jealous and miserable, so I would leave it and let her go. I wouldn't want to be waiting around feeling like that. If you want to try again then do it while you both are sober.

Rb

Ruu wrote:

It is making you jealous and miserable, so I would leave it and let her go. I wouldn't want to be waiting around feeling like that. If you want to try again then do it while you both are sober.

I agree. Move on and forget about her, let her do her own thing. If she comes around then great, if she doesn't, well thats her loss!

I know where you're coming from though, similar stuff has happened me in the past and I know how easy it is to get jealous and/or bothered about it, just put it to the back of your mind and get on with things and perhaps find another woman to give your attention to.

easyontheeye

maybe she knows that if she got with you that she would end up in a relationship with you. So she probably wants to be on her own for awhile , have bit of fun, take it easy.

Its never a good thing to go rushing straight back into a relationship after a long one. I know its poxy seeing her bring these random blokes home but maybe she needs to get it out of her system before shes ready to be with someone again.

i suppose bringing home random blokes fulfills her need without getting hurt from emotional attachment.

My advice dont be the the player waiting on the sideline for her. move on, theres nothing worse in coming across as jealous and bitter. You never know, seeing you moving on and pulling other women might give her the incentive to make a move on you.