Would you let your teenager sleep in the same room as a teenager of the opposite sex?

Boston

I have to say to all the fathers of young girls out there, you're being amazing short sighted. A few points

• If your daughters are going to have sex, they will have it regardless of what you pass down as rules.
• Throwing PC to wind, young Girls often place themselves in high risk situations. They get a little bit too drunk in the company of people they don't know that well in a place they don't know that well. This has a knock on affect of the guy in question having allot more control over the situation.
• If, as by point one, their going to have sex, it's far better from a father point of view that it happens in a place the girl feel comfortable and in control enough to say No if things go to far.

I suggest you guys talk to some young girls (14-16) for whom No sex in the house rules where relavent. I'm betting you'll be shocked by the poor judgement often (but not always) shown. Basically, this whole no sex in the house thing comes down to a phobia. It's not protecting anybody but merely allowing people to live in a dream world where they can hang onto their little girl or buy for longer.

Rozabeez

My relationship is long distance so we sort of have to stay over when we see each other, my mother allows us to share a room but his mother doesn't.

hunnymonster

I'm not a parent (just a part time step-mum:D to an 11 year old so not at that stage yet) but I would say yes. Of course it would be on a case-by-case basis depending on the maturity of the teenagers involved.

Having said that, everyone has the right to set the goal-posts in their own home. Several relatives that we stay with occassionally make us (we're in our 30's & have been a couple for years) sleep in separate rooms because we're not married. In their home I live by their rules.

jasonos

Amasingly short sighted I dont think so. I would never allow my daughter to share her room with another teenage boy, because for 1 reason I remember what I was like when I was a teenager.
Regarding your points boston I think we as parents have to keep an eye on her and know where she is at all times. And she understands the consequences of sex, her aunt volunteered to sit her down as she had a baby when she was 16.

Victor

jasonos wrote:

I would never allow my daughter to share her room with another teenage boy

layke

When I was 18 I had my 17 year old GF stay over all the time. I think it's because my parents had to accept the fact we were sleeping together and there was nothing they could do about it.
At first I got the speil about respect and all that crap, gradually it faded out. What's the main fear people have? That they are going to get up to all sorts of naughty things, sure we'd do that anyway with or without concent when we got alone time.

Personally I always hated that "It's my house my rules" line and I promise never to use it on my own kids.

daiixi

layke wrote:

Personally I always hated that "It's my house my rules" line and I promise never to use it on my own kids.

Off topic but I had to laugh the first time my mam came to visit me at my new flat and I swore about something. She told me not to use bad language and I looked at her with a grin and said "My house, my rules. If you don't like it you know where the door is!". My dad thought it was hillarious.
On topic when I moved back home after living out of home for 18months my mam said my boyfriend (who I'd been practically living with) would be sleeping in the spare room. My father looked at her like she was crazy and said "I'm sure you realise that she's not a virgin *insert mam's name*". Mam blushed and they had a little chat and she then let my boyfriend sleep in my room. I was about 20 then and my mam has been a lot less strict on my younger brother although he was in a serious relationship from 15 - 19.

cmurph

in a word no.....if they weren't planning anything ,then there would be no reason to get worked up about it.......

we as the parents need to set boundaries and teach our kids values and then all we can hope is that they have respect for themselves........

Boston

jasonos wrote:

Amasingly short sighted I dont think so. I would never allow my daughter to share her room with another teenage boy, because for 1 reason I remember what I was like when I was a teenager.
Regarding your points boston I think we as parents have to keep an eye on her and know where she is at all times. And she understands the consequences of sex, her aunt volunteered to sit her down as she had a baby when she was 16.

If and when she hits college(often as young as 17), your control over her life and ability to know where she is and who she is with will go out the window. At this stage you'll have to have faith in her to make her own decisions.

Burga Galti

I'm not a parent but see no problems in friends sleeping in the same room together.

Then again, I take after my parents who's approach was they would advise us but also let us make our own mistakes. Once we'd learned the lesson of course, they would be there to help pick up the pieces.

I think that attitude came from a background where a lot of my family had kids at a young age and so my parents realised that strict control simply didn't work.