Nekkid wimmin...

Hagar · 06-01-2007 3:22pm #1

...maybe in another joke but for now make do with these.:D

An old farmer in Darwin had owned a large property for several years.
He had a large dam in the back, fixed up nice; picnic tables, palm trees, and some avocado and mango trees. The dam was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the dam, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his dam. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end of the dam. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"
The old man frowned and grumbled, "I didn't come down here to watch you young ladies swim naked or make you get out of the dam naked." Holding the bucket up he yelled, "I'm here to feed the crocodiles."

A woman's husband comes home hammered every night and she always yells at him before going to bed alone
One day she decides to try some reverse psychology. When her husband staggers in that night, she's waiting for him in her best lingerie. She sits him in an armchair and gives him a backrub.
It's getting late, big boy, she says after a few minutes. Why don't we go upstairs to bed.
We might as well, slurs the husband. If I go home at this hour the wife will kill me

After giving a speech at an elementary school, President Bush allows the kids to ask a few questions.
One little boy, Billy, gathers the courage to raise his hand and asks, “How come you invaded Iraq without the support of the U.N.?”
Just as Bush begins to answer, the recess bell rings and he says they’ll continue afterward. Half an hour later the kids come back inside. “Where were we?” says George.

“Oh, yes - does anyone want to ask me anything?” A different boy raises his hand and says, “I have three questions:

First, why did you invade Iraq without support from the U.N.?
Why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?
And third, where the heck is Billy?”

An old woman is riding in an elevator in a very lavish New York City Building, when a young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling of expensive perfume. She turns to the old woman and says arrogantly, "Romance" by Ralph Lauren, $150 an ounce.
Then another young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator, and also very arrogantly turns to the old woman saying, "Chanel No. 5, $200 an ounce!"
About three floors later, the old woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves, she looks both beautiful women in the eye, then bends over, farts and says...
"Broccoli. 49 cents a pound."

The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had had enough.
"Why don't you put your money where your mouth is," he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back."
"You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "Let's see what you got."
The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right. Get in."