older woman

LegacyUser

there have probably been several posts like this but would like fresh input.

ok here goes

I'm 26 and met this sexy handsome cool funny guy just before christmas. He at the time was just about to turn 24 or so he told me. I've since found out he actually turned 22.

now i think this is a pretty big age gap. he lied initially he says because he liked me and was afraid i'd have no interest in a 21yr old.

does anyone have thoughts/ experience of the older woman scenario..


like i say we get on brilliantly and he's cute sweet funny but not sure if i can get over the age gap.

chamlis

Not an issue tbh.

I was 17 when I went out with a 23yo girl. That's something that was an issue for her so it didn't last, even though it was much as you describe the way you and he are together. It's only an issue if you make it one.

He's 22, not 17.

Jules

my partner is just a little over three years younger than me, thankfully he is quite copped on, yeah from time to time he can be a bit silly but its one of the things i love about him. Age doesn't bother me, him or anyone i know. In all fairness who should it really matter to but you and himself!

Ruu_Old

I don't think it is a problem. If you are happy enough with the relationship, who cares about the "gap"? Best of luck in future.

py2006

Holy Crap! I thought you were gonna say you were 44 and he was 18!

The age gap is nothing! If you like him and get on well with him then there is no reason to not be with him!

patrickc

my gf is 4 years younger than me, were together nearly 3 years not a bother on us.. age is no bearing on a relationship if u love someone

Húrin

That age gap is nothing. Go for it.

Talliesin

It could be an issue if it was a real age gap, but it isn't.

King of Kings

i had a great 6 month relationship with a girl who was 33 when i was 23.
it's only an issue if you get hung up on it.

randylonghorn

To be honest, OP, the idea of describing yourself as an "older woman" in this scenario made me grin!

Get over it, and quickly, before he begins to think you are too immature for him

the_syco

Dang. I was expecting something filthy:cool:

My mate is 4 years younger than the girl he's engaged to marry next year. If you were both 4 years younger, there may have been a problem, but once the younger in the relationship hits 20'ish (when there's an age gap), its usually cool.

LegacyUser

they are all as immature as each other no matter what the age

go for it.

turbot

Over the years, I've dated and gone out with women who were 4 - 6 years older than me. It was fun, and there were no issues, because neither I nor they minded the age gap.

Beruthiel

opinionswelcome wrote:

now i think this is a pretty big age gap.

No it's not.
My partner of 7 years is 8 years younger than me.

Sleipnir

Naw, my girlfriend of 6 years is 5 years older than me (30 and 35 this summer) and it was a bit of an issue for her early on but now we have two kids, house etc etc. If the rest is good, it doesn't matter a damn.

Black Swan

"It's not the age... it's the mileage" (Indiana Jones). In other words, if your 22 year old was mature for his age, then it should not be a problem.

hmmmm

opinionswelcome wrote:

or so he told me.

I think that is more worrying than the actual age gap. But as you said he may have thought you wouldnt go for him.

Has he actually told you his real age yet? or was it all through a 3rd party?

BTW that is not really an age gap.

4 years is nothing between consenting adults.

On the general topic of age with partners,it shouldnt matter even with a much bigger age gap.
If you get on thats what matters.
If you like their company thats what matters.
If theres an attraction thats what matters.
If both of you are laughing thats what matters.
If you think you can understand them,thats what matters.
If you think that they can/will understand you thats what matters.

Marksie

I was 21 years of age and with a 31 year old woman (also my boss). It was wonderful and no problem whatsoever. We are still friends after 21 years

LegacyUser

'I'm 17 years older than my partner and we have never seen it as an issue.
We have 2 lovely children, our own home and cars, both in good jobs and I would not change anything about the 5 years we have been together. It gets better as time goes on...Age really has no bearing on a relationship as long as you are both able to communicate and come to agreements on any major issues.'

Elphaba

I'm almost 28 and my guy is 6 years younger than me. He also said he was a bit older at the very beginning but told me his real age soon enough. I just thought OMG at first but it really doesnt matter. I spent long enough goin out with ar*eholes my own age so now that I have someone who I'm crazy about I wouldnt let a thing like age get in the way

LegacyUser

thanks for all the input. he told me the truth on our second date.
i know it sounds stupid giving out about an age gap that slight, but i'm about to turn 27 so its nearly 6 yrs, also I've done the whole travelling thing, getting on in my career etc whereas all thats still ahead of him. I'm considering finishing things before it gets too involved?

Elphaba

What if u do that and end up regretting it? Nobody ever knows how things are gonna go. You could meet someone your own age and they could decide to take off travelling. Is there any other reason why u would call it off?

Keano

I think you should see how it goes. Why not ask him about his plans for the future etc this should put your mind at ease. Dont give up on yet.

Marksie

opinionswelcome wrote:

thanks for all the input. he told me the truth on our second date.
i know it sounds stupid giving out about an age gap that slight, but i'm about to turn 27 so its nearly 6 yrs, also I've done the whole travelling thing, getting on in my career etc whereas all thats still ahead of him. I'm considering finishing things before it gets too involved?

have you asked him what he wants to do?

Aren't you restricting yourself as well? by this age i will have done this, and expected to do this? He will be wanting to do this and this and this?

Talk to him then decide, but i would say its pretty silly to break something when it aint broken, and particularly when you are both young enough to do such things together still.

Drift

I agree with Mark,most people don't have set life plan. If things are going well why look for problems that aren't there.


For example the travel thing: Maybe he doesn't want to do the whole year abroad thing. I'm 2 years older than him and I haven't done the 1 or 2 long years travelling around the world thing. Having said that I've been to a lot of places (an around the world) but in shorter visits.Maybe if he has a great g/f at home this might suit him more too? Maybe you could even go with him. Who knows, its all in teh future and part of the fun of the relationship would be facing it together.

LegacyUser

'Age should never be a problem around this area. It's becoming the norm.
Why try and stick to your own age group/area when you can have fun with an older/younger person.
At the end of the day, if the two of you feel happy together and notice the hours fly by and enjoy each other, that is all that matters.

Don't worry, age is just how long we have been alive.

Enjoy it is what I say.'

Rincess

The age gap is nothing, honestly. I'm two and half years older than my boyfriend (i'm 25,he's nearly 23). At first, i thought it might be an issue but it really isn't at all. I love him and he loves me. That's all that matters at the end of the day. So my advice is, go for it, age doesn't matter. It's only a number.

dvega

Why would you even consider this an issue?
These threads make me laugh,anyone would swear it was illegal or something.

I went out with a girl for nearly 3 yrs and when she turned 21 i was turning 26,i didnt even think about it until i read threads like these,neither did she.

the_syco

Untill you find someone who's more or less your twin, birth time wise, enjoy it.

Miss Fluff

Shouldn't even register as an issue with you tbh,:rolleyes: why are you being so uptight about a 6 year age gap???? Sounds to me like your tripping over yourself to get up the aisle as soon as possible and he mightn't fit into that idealistic image in your head. Sounds to me this guy is just what you need to loosen up a bit girlfriend.

glasseye81

wow.. thats some gap. all of what?, 4 years. though, it must be said could make a huge diffrerence. im sure it doesnt need to be said that its all relative. apart from this *gap* all else seems fine? almost judging a book by its..... and all those cliches .