Harold

drunk_monk

Harold was an old man who was sick and in the hospital. There was one young nurse that just drove him crazy.

Every time she came in, she would talk to him like he was a little child. She would say in a patronizing tone of

voice, "And how are we doing this morning, or are we ready for a bath, or are we hungry?"

Old Harold had had enough of this particular nurse. One day, Old Harold had breakfast, pulled the juice off the tray,

and put it on his bed side stand. He had been given a urine bottle to fill for testing.

The juice was apple juice. So .. you know where the juice went! The nurse came in a little later, picked up the urine

bottle and looked at it. "My, but it seems we are a little cloudy today ."

At this, Old Harold snatched the bottle out of her hand, popped off the top, and drank it down, saying, "Well, I'll run

it through again. Maybe I can filter it better this time."

The nurse fainted.....

Chopperdog

While on the topic of nurses.....

Old man in hospital asks, 'Nurse, give me a kiss',
'No' she replies,

Stubborn old boy asks again 'Nurse, give me a kiss',
Again, she replies 'No',

Resolute as anything the old chap asks again 'Nurse, give me a kiss',

She replies, P1ss off, I shouldn't even be giving you this hand job.....

de5p0i1er

Love a good nurse joke, gotta tell them to a few nursing students I know.

Mad Dog

Good ones there