Sunday's dessert.

Hagar

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

<<<>>>

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies. Suddenly, at 3 O'clock in the morning, A resounding noise came form outside...

The woman, sort of bewildered, Jumps up from the bed and yells at the man “****!, that must be my husband!”

So the guy quickly got out of bed , scared, and naked. He jumped out the window like a crazy man, Smashed himself on the ground, went through a thorn bush, Then he stood up and started to run fast to his car.

Just a few minutes later he returns and tells the woman “I'm your husband, you slut!!!”

So the woman answers:- “Oh, yeah?!! And why were you running?!! You son of a bitch!!!”

<<<>>>

Confucius say:

It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl.

Man who jizz in cash register come into money.

Man who drop watch in toilet have ****ty time.

Learn to masturbate...come in handy.


<<<>>>

A little girl walks up to her Dad one Sunday while he's reading the Sunday paper and asks: "Where does poo come from?"

The father feeling a little perturbed that his 5 year old daughter is asking difficult questions thinks for a moment and says: "Well you know we just ate breakfast?"

"Yes," answers the girl.

"Well the food goes into our tummies and our bodies take out all the good stuff, and then whatever is left over comes out of our bums when we go to the toilet, and that is poo."

The little girl looks perplexed, and stares at him in stunned silence for a few seconds and asks: "And Tigger?"

<<<>>>

An attractive young woman was in the doctor's office.
The doctor said, "I'll be doing a vaginal examination now."
She said, "Oh, doctor, is that really necessary?"
Boy, did he get mad! "Listen!" he said, "who is the chiropractor here - you or me?"

<<<>>>

A young reporter for a small town newspaper was sent out on his first assignment one day. He submitted the following report to his editor. "Mrs. Smith was injured in a one-car accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital with lacerations on her teats." The editor scolded the new reporter, saying. "This is a family paper. We don't use words like teats around here. Now go back and write something more appropriate!" The young reporter thought long and hard.
Finally he handed the Editor the following report. "Mrs. Smith was injured in a one-car accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital with lacerations on her ( .)(. ) "

Dan133269

tigger, what the hell does that mean?

Tarakiwa

Dan133269 wrote:

tigger, what the hell does that mean?

Poo & Tigger ...... as in Winnie the Poo!!

Like;

Wy do elephants have Big Ears?

Because Noddy would not pay the ransom!

Dan133269

I actually watch Winne the Pooh with my sisters, and thought of Tigger, and still didn't get it! oh well

:|

Hagar wrote:

A little girl walks up to her Dad one Sunday while he's reading the Sunday paper and asks: "Where does poo come from?"

The father feeling a little perturbed that his 5 year old daughter is asking difficult questions thinks for a moment and says: "Well you know we just ate breakfast?"

"Yes," answers the girl.

"Well the food goes into our tummies and our bodies take out all the good stuff, and then whatever is left over comes out of our bums when we go to the toilet, and that is poo."

The little girl looks perplexed, and stares at him in stunned silence for a few seconds and asks: "And Tigger?"

ahahaha brilliant

Kojak

Excellent once again, Hagar