Introduce Yourself

The_Conductor

Welcome to the forum Patricia, I'm sure you have lots of very interesting and informative things we can all learn from you! Great to see you here. I haven't read 'A light in the Window' in a while- I'm definitely going to dust off my copy.

PJD51

smccarrick wrote: »

Welcome to the forum Patricia, I'm sure you have lots of very interesting and informative things we can all learn from you! Great to see you here. I haven't read 'A light in the Window' in a while- I'm definitely going to dust off my copy.

Thank you for your welcome,
I have struggled for a while whether to inform people who may be interested in mums and myselfs past, there are only a few close friends who are aware and have been horrified at the treatment mothers and baby endured in this terrible place, after reading Junes book.
With the very sad death of mum <molly> this January 2012 I have been very troubled by her unfortunate past and it is only as one gets older that the realization of what she gave up, for the love of me. We always had a special bond and although we talked alot I feel a lot of questions have gone unanswered as some aspects she found very upsetting. I consider myself privileged and so lucky to have had sixty wonderful years with her,its very hard without her.
I can really feel for all the Bessboro babies who are still searching for their birth mother.
You will find part of mums story in chapter 13 Mollie`s Escape and page 204/205 at the end in EPILOGUE.
MANY THANKS

PJD

annadoll1985

Hi everyone. Finding this forum really informative, i too am adopted and have known all my life.i was born in Sep of 1985 from st Patrick guild and adopted by a fantastic family. I have a little girl of my own now and somehow getting in contact with my birth mother seems more important to me now. I have been in touch with sister Francis in st Patrick guild and to be honest found her less than helpful.my sister who is adopted also managed to track her birth parents down and when she die .she learned that much of the information givin to her by sister Francis was false. This obese me think is there other ways of starting the search ?

The_Conductor

Hi Anna- welcome to our forum.
Yes- there are other ways of searching, please have a look at our traceguides here, which detail how you trace by yourself.

If any of us can help you in any way please don't hesitate to ask,

Best wishes,

Shane

mickel90

Hi I'm 22 and I've recently made contact with my birth mother. I was in St. Patrick's Guild in Dublin and was adopted at 6 weeks. I only made contact with the agency back in May and they'd replied to me by August with news that my mother wanted contact. We've sent a few letters since and I'm hoping to meet her before Christmas. I don't think I'll ever meet my father but I guess I'm lucky as my mother's current husband knows about me. I really hope anyone looking for their children or parents succeeds, I know how much it means to me.

ModeMadFan

Best of luck. I hope it works out well for you.

christmasbaby

Ok, where to start?!

I am the same as some posters on here, never thought about meeting my BM but was happy that she placed me with my wonderful family!! Mam Dad and 2 brothers who i love!

I am now in my thirties and had recently watched a uk programme about women who had given up babies and were distraught, and the whole process had ruined there lives basically. I suddenly got the feeling that I would not like my BM to go through this for all of her life, so decided to search!

Went as did lots of people on here to the irish life mall, found the reading room and sat down to research. I was born christmas day and knew what my original name was to be so my lovely wife found my original birth cert in 10 minutes!! Only baby born this day with my name! All others were mainly called noel, holly etc So i had a place to start!

With this name we found that she was from kildare and had several brothers and sisters, around 9 I think! Anyway we got this far and no further!

So contacted patricks guild who were very helpful, they in turn contacted bm and got the ball rolling. Found out ive got two sisters and a brother by the same father and they got married......chuffed.

next step was to make contact through letter, but i had heard i had siblings and ever the impulsive git i wanted to meet them asap, i had only been given the brothers name but was enough as we were convinced we had the right family.

Using the modern miracle that is facebook and my wife the budding PI, we found the family using the original info we had, searched for the brothers name we were given and hey presto found the family i had been searching for!! looking at them i knew they were mine, considering they all looked a bit nuts!! But the resemblance between all the siblings is uncanny! I really wanted them to be mine but didnt dare hope until a new photo was put up by my sister on christmas and a friend of the family wrote on it.....any word on the bro? This was just weeks after i had sent a card! To which my sister replied "yes mam got a lovely card, very excited!!"

Ok, these are indeed my blood relatives, guess where they live??! Yes, in the same town!! 5 minutes away! So, new years eve comes, I decide if its meant to be I will meet them tonight on the town! Low and behold who do I see in the smoking area of the bar?! My sister who according to facebook is very excited to meet me!! So I walk up to her and look her in the eyes and ask her "are you (insert name here?)and that Ive been searching for her ever since i heard about her, we both stare at each other with what we know now was recognition,and then burst out crying.......the rest as they say is history, I have met my lovely bm and bf and my two other lovely siblings and I can safely say I love them fiercely and am so happy I looked!!

Probably not the most advisable way to do it, but it has worked out amazingly well for us all!!

Best of luck to all searching

ModeMadFan

Christmasbaby, delighted for you that the outcome was so positive. Enjoy it as some of us are not so lucky. But genuinely happy for you.

Gary

Eamo71

Hello my name is Eamon. I was born on 14/04/1971 at St Patrick's Mother and Babies home on Navan Road. I was adopted sometime in 1972. I have just begun initial inquiries about my "secret" past. It's encouraging to know from sites such as adoptionrightsalliance.com that I can access my "original" birth cert from the General Registration Office once I get some non identifying information.
Anyway if there's any St. Patrick's folk knocking around the forum please do get in touch with me as I'd love to hear from you.

gpcrotty

PJD51 wrote: »

Thank you for your welcome,
I have struggled for a while whether to inform people who may be interested in mums and myselfs past, there are only a few close friends who are aware and have been horrified at the treatment mothers and baby endured in this terrible place, after reading Junes book.
With the very sad death of mum <molly> this January 2012 I have been very troubled by her unfortunate past and it is only as one gets older that the realization of what she gave up, for the love of me. We always had a special bond and although we talked alot I feel a lot of questions have gone unanswered as some aspects she found very upsetting. I consider myself privileged and so lucky to have had sixty wonderful years with her,its very hard without her.
I can really feel for all the Bessboro babies who are still searching for their birth mother.
You will find part of mums story in chapter 13 Mollie`s Escape and page 204/205 at the end in EPILOGUE.
MANY THANKS

PJD

Hi Patricia I remember my mother telling us of you and your mum regards Gerald

Ally82

Hi All,
I am a Bessboro baby 1982 who has been contacted by biological sister. Never had a strong desire before to find out info on my adoption story, as I pretty much was in denial really, but I have found out a lot through my bio sis. Thing is since having a baby of my own recently I want to know more and have been thinking about things in greater detail than I ever have before. I always wondered what BM was like but now I think about how long were we in Bessboro together and things like that. I have requested my non identifying info on my file buy I think my adoptive parents may know some info but I have never told them that I am in contact wit my bio sis for the last year. How do I go about telling them? How will they react? Maybe I should just keep it to myself, they are in their 60s and can't cope with stress. But at the same time I want to be honest with them and hate keeping things from them. It's a happy story after all. Just wondering if anyone has any experience with telling their adoptive parents?
Thanks

schoolmouse

Ally82 wrote: »

Hi All,
I am a Bessboro baby 1982 who has been contacted by biological sister. Never had a strong desire before to find out info on my adoption story, as I pretty much was in denial really, but I have found out a lot through my bio sis. Thing is since having a baby of my own recently I want to know more and have been thinking about things in greater detail than I ever have before. I always wondered what BM was like but now I think about how long were we in Bessboro together and things like that. I have requested my non identifying info on my file buy I think my adoptive parents may know some info but I have never told them that I am in contact wit my bio sis for the last year. How do I go about telling them? How will they react? Maybe I should just keep it to myself, they are in their 60s and can't cope with stress. But at the same time I want to be honest with them and hate keeping things from them. It's a happy story after all. Just wondering if anyone has any experience with telling their adoptive parents?
Thanks

Welcome to boards PJD. Hope you make lots of friends here.

christmasbaby

ModeMadFan wrote: »

Christmasbaby, delighted for you that the outcome was so positive. Enjoy it as some of us are not so lucky. But genuinely happy for you.

Gary

Thank you! I do realise some searchers are not so lucky, I just wanted to post a positive to keep people motivated, I realise how fortunate I am to have had a positive outcome, and wish the same for all fellow searchers.

Update! Have just found out that I have another sister who was given up for adoption in 81!! Her name was saraya! Hope we can find her too, she was placed in the navan road, and the search begins again!!

LilyMarlene

I'm 37 and was adopted at three months by a very lovely mum and dad, who mean the world to me. I've always been curious about my origins and have very recently decided to look for my biological parents. I've been browsing through some of the threads here and you seem like a very supportive bunch! I may have to pick your brains as I set off on my search.

Tunage

Hi all,

Just decided to start my official search. Born June 1985 and I was adopted from St. Patrick's Guild, Temple Hilll through Sr. Gabriel. 6 months later to the day I was placed with my Mum&Dad. Have no background information regarding my birth mother or father and am nervous to begin the search. Since a young age I've always known that I was adopted and the curiosity to know has been there ever since I can remember.

Have no idea really where to start as I've heard conflicting things about some of the different paths but I guess I'll just go with my gut and contact the agencies I think might be of help for my own journey.

Delighted for those who have had successful stories and kudos to those who haven't had the outcome they were hoping for but undertook the journey.

Here goes!

Moonbeam

Welcome:)
I should really start my search again.
Are you on the adoption contact register?

Tunage

I just downloaded that form yesterday so I must print it off. Getting non-identifying information is what i'm a bit confused about. I've seen this mentioned a few times but I don't really know what it is. Is it my original birth cert with BM's name etc on it?

The_Conductor

Tunage wrote: »

I just downloaded that form yesterday so I must print it off. Getting non-identifying information is what i'm a bit confused about. I've seen this mentioned a few times but I don't really know what it is. Is it my original birth cert with BM's name etc on it?

Hi Tunage-

No. If you contact the agency who handled your adoption and request non-identifying information, normally they will send you a small extract back, detailing in broadest possible terms some information that you will probably find interesting- such as where your birthmother was from (rough idea) how many were in her family, how old she was when she had you, perhaps her first name and the name she gave you- etc. Its all anonymised- so as to preserve your birthmums identity, but normally gives you a rough picture of the circumstances under which you were adopted.

Best wishes,

Shane

Tunage

Ah I see now, thank you Shane. It is a start for me and I'll be delighted if I get any information from them.

dante2014

hi all

i was adopted at 5 weeks of age and was told from when i could understand the word, went through most of my childhood not really caring about it till i was 21, then 1 day i started thinking about it and thinking that if i didnt do it now then i would never do and i would regret not finding my real mother and sister that i knew i had out there somewhere, i started my search through the social services in the uk (i am originally from wales) and it took 3 months from begining to end, long story short a meeting was arranged and i met up with me birth mother and sister, very emotional and was accpeted straight away by my sister who didnt know i exsisted, through it all i never felt any bad will towards my birth mother she did it for reasons and i am glad she did as i wouldnt have the life i had or have now.

scealagam

I am a birth mother and have been following this site with great interest. I approached my adoption agency last year and came to the conclusion that I just didn't want to intrude on my daughters life, but that I would be delighted if she wanted to meet with me at any stage. Curiosity got the better of me yesterday and I went into Irish Life Mall (records are no longer in Lombard Street). It was intense, I could not get over the size of the book and as I was scrolling through each page I was just thinking of how many families are affected by adoption. I found my daughters details towards the back of the book (had convinced myself I wouldn't find it). I then went that step forward and googled her, and I have managed to find her on a social network site. I have not mentioned this to anyone as I am trying to get my head around the whole thing but I feel now that I can kind of get it know her without her knowing and without me feeling like I have intruded on her life. Is it wrong what I have done? Its kind of like a pandoras box though, once opened. I am so proud of her, she seems to be in a good place, looks very happy, beautiful and looks to have a bright future ahead of her. Her family seem to be very close which is exactly what I have wished for her. I have other children now, who don't know about this (they are very young), but perhaps one day that will change. Just want to wish everyone luck with their journeys - it just proves again that one small decision can have such a huge impact.

Hermy

Hi scealagam,
I don't think there's anything wrong with what you've done and well done on a successful search. I'm in a similar position - I was adopted from Temple Hill in the 70's - and like yourself, I've been to the GRO and found what is almost certainly mine and my birth mothers birth certs. However I've done nothing since as I too don't want to open a potential Pandora's Box but at the same time I am curious and I would at least like to let my birth mother know that I'm well and was adopted by loving parents. If you do take things a step further I wish you the best - in the meantime I'm still sitting on the fence.:)

schoolmouse

Hi scealagam
nice to know you found your daughter and that at least now you know she is well and doing so well for herself, wish I could say the same, fingers crossed.

scealagam

Hi Hermy
Thanks for your reply.Wouldn't it be great if we could see into the future in order to help us make up our minds. I can't help but think that with your circumstances that perhaps your birth mother might be like me and just making it your decision to choose whether or not to go further. 1973 was probably a very different time for adoption in comparison with the 90s. I suppose all we can do is what we feel is right for us. Like I said the sheer volume of entries in that book would break your heart - for each name in the book the amount of lives effected must be incredible. There must be so many people with so many unanswered questions.
It is definetly a pandoras box though. I think at this stage I might leave a letter for my daughter with the adoption agency, just in case she does ever decide to investigate.
Best of luck

LilyMarlene

Hi Scealagam,

Thank you for your post. It's so important for us all to hear what it's like on the other side. I don't think that there's anything wrong with what you've done. We've all had a nose at people on Facebook;that's what it's there for! And if it has comforted you to know that your daughter has grown up in a happy and supportive family, then that can only be a good thing.

I wish you all the best with whatever you decide to do, regarding making further contact.

s123maguire

Hi, I was adopted through RGAS in 1981, did a search when I turned 18 SW received a letter back from my BM telling me she didn't want contact, but she has a husband and 7 children who don't know I exist. Anyway not one to be deterred l got my original birth cert off the adoption board, I've left it there but am once again thinking of looking? Maybe doing my own search?

Moonbeam

scealagam wrote: »

I am a birth mother and have been following this site with great interest. I approached my adoption agency last year and came to the conclusion that I just didn't want to intrude on my daughters life, but that I would be delighted if she wanted to meet with me at any stage. Curiosity got the better of me yesterday and I went into Irish Life Mall (records are no longer in Lombard Street). It was intense, I could not get over the size of the book and as I was scrolling through each page I was just thinking of how many families are affected by adoption. I found my daughters details towards the back of the book (had convinced myself I wouldn't find it). I then went that step forward and googled her, and I have managed to find her on a social network site. I have not mentioned this to anyone as I am trying to get my head around the whole thing but I feel now that I can kind of get it know her without her knowing and without me feeling like I have intruded on her life. Is it wrong what I have done? Its kind of like a pandoras box though, once opened. I am so proud of her, she seems to be in a good place, looks very happy, beautiful and looks to have a bright future ahead of her. Her family seem to be very close which is exactly what I have wished for her. I have other children now, who don't know about this (they are very young), but perhaps one day that will change. Just want to wish everyone luck with their journeys - it just proves again that one small decision can have such a huge impact.

every time I read a post like that or hear of a birth mother searching I hope it is my mother looking for me,I would not care if her other kids and husband were never told about me but would love to meet her and would love to know the circumstances,what she does with her life and well everything:)

schoolmouse

Hi Moonbeam
I often wonder why more people don't look for their Dad's, not all of us are hostile to the hope of meeting the one who was taken against our wishes but Ireland still wishes to deny fathers any rights to their children unless married to the mother of his children.I held him in my arms for a very short while and the memory has never faded.How I long to do it again.

Ally82

dante2014 wrote: »

hi all

i was adopted at 5 weeks of age and was told from when i could understand the word, went through most of my childhood not really caring about it till i was 21, then 1 day i started thinking about it and thinking that if i didnt do it now then i would never do and i would regret not finding my real mother and sister that i knew i had out there somewhere, i started my search through the social services in the uk (i am originally from wales) and it took 3 months from begining to end, long story short a meeting was arranged and i met up with me birth mother and sister, very emotional and was accpeted straight away by my sister who didnt know i exsisted, through it all i never felt any bad will towards my birth mother she did it for reasons and i am glad she did as i wouldnt have the life i had or have now.

Hi Dante2014!
Great to hear such a positive story! Just wondering if you told your adoptive parents about meeting your birth mum and bio sis and if so how did they react? I have been in contact with my bio sister for some time now and have yet to tell my family. I just don't know how they will take it. Would love to hear how you got on. Thanks!

Moonbeam

schoolmouse wrote: »

Hi Moonbeam
I often wonder why more people don't look for their Dad's, not all of us are hostile to the hope of meeting the one who was taken against our wishes but Ireland still wishes to deny fathers any rights to their children unless married to the mother of his children.I held him in my arms for a very short while and the memory has never faded.How I long to do it again.

I would love to meet both but it is harder to find fathers as their names were not always listed on birth certs and often the girls never told anyone who they were.
I dunno if my birth father even knows that I exist.
I wonder if he would love my kids and would he like being a grandad.