I'm an arrogant person!

LegacyUser

It was brought home to me recently that im an arrogant person and i never knew it. I never knew i was forcing a person to do something. I have made few friends over the years and many seem to have become distant and i think this is due to they way i am. I dont want people to feel how i have made them feel and i want to change.
A friend who i am still lucky to have at this time said it to me straight and i thanked them for doing so as i could be making things worse forthcoming in my life.
I never realised they was i was. Ive heard of arrogant people and have even met them, but i never knew i would be/am one.

Is there anyway i can change and things i can try to do to change? I don't want to be like this towards people.

thanks.

dame

How exactly have you been arrogant?

If you've been belittling other's achievements by saying "that's nothing, I did....", then you need to learn to congratulate people and bite your tongue when you feel you have done better in a similar situation.

If you always have a smart comment for everything then just think before you open your mouth. Is a smart comment necessary? How will it come across? Will it hurt someone? Will it alienate someone?

Learn what empathy means and try to put it into practice.

Self-confidence is a good thing, arrogance is not. You need to watch some strong self-confident people you see around you who you admire. You'll find that the people who are genuinely happiest with themselves are not the ones constantly blowing their own trumpets. I'd say you're actually a person who isn't very self-confident so this is what makes you feel the need to constantly impress your greatness on other people, thus appearing arrogant. How do the really strong, confident people behave? Do they push their achievements/views in others' faces or do they listen to others and help them where they can?

littlesurfer

ask your parents.....if you ask them to be honest with you they probably know you better than anyone........

Black Swan

dame wrote:

Do they push their achievements/views in others' faces or do they listen to others...

A good listener has many friends and sweethearts.

limklad

IdontLikeMe. wrote:

It was brought home to me recently that im an arrogant person and i never knew it. I never knew i was forcing a person to do something. I have made few friends over the years and many seem to have become distant and i think this is due to they way i am. I dont want people to feel how i have made them feel and i want to change.
A friend who i am still lucky to have at this time said it to me straight and i thanked them for doing so as i could be making things worse forthcoming in my life.
I never realised they was i was. Ive heard of arrogant people and have even met them, but i never knew i would be/am one.

Is there anyway i can change and things i can try to do to change? I don't want to be like this towards people.

thanks.

Many people do and say things that will hurt others without releasing it until it is too late.

Others just don’t care, because they do not want or more pain.
It could also be your upbringing. Where your parents this way or did they not prevent this because they though you grow out of it. Was it was normal behavior growing up? Either way it is now your reasonability to change. You have now acknowledge it, so good on you.

I had an argument with a person over this at a wedding. He was been a complete prick to a small child who accidentally split a drink, because someone drunk bump into her. Lucky for me, there was a camcorder, because no one saw what happen and other people though the child was guilty. He claim he did not do what I said he did nor realize what he had done and made a big scene over it. Someone connect the camcorder to the main screen and replayed the incident. I said to him after it was played, this was an intervention in his life. Oh Boy, did he get a big shock,
He never realized how aggressive he looked nor realized what he said to the child. He was now forced to look from a different perspective.
He has since change his behavior, anybody who knew him believed that he could not change. If he, so can you.
You are now more aware of your behavior, changing your behavior takes time, because it became instinct. How you change depends on you. Admit your mistakes with confidence. It takes strength to do so if you are not used to it. But after a while it will become second nature. Do not allow other people to derail you and well done for the start.

neuro-praxis

Humiliating someone in public is probably not the best way to encourage growth, so let's scrap the idea OP of having your misdeeds publicly re-run in some nightmare scenario about spilt Fanta.

OP, you may be an arrogant person, but you have faced up to it with honesty so well done you! Try not to frame your whole life in terms of this criticism. Friends come and go: simply because people have become distant does not mean that you drove them away with your arrogance.

I looked up the word arrogance in the online dictionary. It said:

1. making claims or pretensions to superior importance or rights; overbearingly assuming; insolently proud: an arrogant public official.
2. characterized by or proceeding from arrogance: arrogant claims.

—Synonyms 1. presumptuous, haughty, imperious, brazen. See proud.
—Antonyms 1. meek. 2. modest, humble.

Ok. I would suggest that you sit down and have a think about any people you may have inadvertently hurt over the years, and make your peace with them. This will let you rest.

Then, if I was you, I would look at cultivating modesty and humility in your life, which includes the ability to encourage others and to genuinely celebrate their successes. How does one cultivate modesty and humility? I haven't a clue. Self-discipline probably plays a role - acknowledging that some behaviours are wrong and then resisting the natural impulse to do them anyway. Hold your tongue where appropriate, choke out a kind word where you can, it'll become more natural.

Have a look at how you can have a part in improving the lives of the people you live and work with. This will help you build strong relationships.

And, just as an afterthought, I am a Christian, so I actually pray on a regular basis for help in being better, as opposed to acting better. I've seen genuine growth in myself over the years, but like yourself and everyone else, I have a long way to go.

Well done in admitting a failing, that's brave. Good luck.