To wedding list or not to wedding list...that is the question!

smileygal

Hi,

I would like to have a wedding list, but H2B does not - any ideas? I wouldn't put anything ridiculously expensive on it (like in 4weddings!) and you can usually get a discount on unsold items on the list - so economising! From experience, I know that some people (busy/carers of invalids) find it easier than buying a gift and in general, think it's better to give something they know you really like.

We both would like cash as No 1 gift - to pay back costs, as we are not exactly rolling in money, but will not write that down obviously.

To be honest, I don't want a load of unusable gifts, which I consider is wasteful and we already have a lot of household things. There is also another personal reason why some gifts would be unsuitable but I don't want to say any more on that one, just that it is genuine and not snootyness or a matter of taste!

CathyMoran

We did not have a wedding list (partially as our wedding was so small) but they are a good idea, we had lots of people asking for a list. We did get some unexpected (but very much welcomed) presents of money though which was great.

smileygal

Thanks Cathy. I know some people are against them but I have also stayed in friends' house in spare room still containing unused gifts a year after wedding!!!

Crea

I'd say do a list. The shop usually gives you are business card to put in with the invite which you can leave out if you are worried some people might be a bit offended. We got a load of stuff from out list and got money from anyone who was travelling from outside the area which we used to buy the remaining stuff on the list.
Good luck

hunnymonster

I prefer invites that come with a wedding list. Just make sure there is a wide range of prices on it.

kizzyr

I love wedding lists. It makes buying a gift so much easier and at least I know what I am buying will be appreciated rather than shoved in the attic or re gifted to someone else.

iguana

smileygal wrote:

Thanks Cathy. I know some people are against them but I have also stayed in friends' house in spare room still containing unused gifts a year after wedding!!!

ebay?

Some people really hate wedding lists and if your partner really feels strongly about it, I'd give him his way on this one. But use it as a bargaining chip to get something you really want for the wedding instead.;)

dame

Having a wedding list but preferring gifts of money doesn't really make sense. When people know there's a list they're going to assume they're expected to pick something from it.

I'd say a list could be a good idea but personally I wouldn't advertise it unless people ask, as in don't stick the details in with the invite but tell people where it is if they ask you. Make sure there are things at all sorts of prices (from say twenty quid) on there so people don't feel pressured to fork out loads.

If your hubby to be is really against it then it could mean his family wouldn't like it either in which case you could be better off doing without it. Don't want to be upsetting the in-laws over something silly like wedding presents!

At my wedding I'll be spreading the word and telling anyone who asks that we don't want presents "your presence is our present" type thing. Like you we already have house and its' bits and pieces, and no we're not loaded or anything like it. I think if you want to invite so many people that you need help paying for it - then you should invite less people or cut a cost somewhere else. I hate the idea of people expecting gifts and saying on the invite that they'd prefer cash or that they've a list somewhere. There's no point having a huge wedding you can't afford, just for show, and needing to rely on a loan or "gifts" to pay for it. Weddings have gotten ridiculous. The best weddings I think I've ever been to are the more intimate family and friends type weddings, not the huge rent-a-crowd affairs with everyone you ever sat beside in school invited and friends of the parents that haven't been seen since the parents own wedding.

daiixi

Have a list but don't send it out with an invite instead have family/the rest of the bridal party spread the word that there is a list if guests would like to look at it.

I found out the other day that at some places people can have a list and once they're married they can either have the gifts that people have purchased for them or gift vouchers where the couple can then go off spending the money on whatever they like in the store to the value of. That's tacky!!

I personally don't have a problem with lists because if I don't want to buy off the list I won't. And if I'm going to someones wedding then chances are I'll know them well enough to know they would like cash and would be comfortable giving them cash.

Zambia

I think the idea of a list is a bit outdated ...

Most couples getting married are basically settled when they do, they have a house and lots of stuff already.

Personnally I would just like to get the cash. There is a little else I want in the way of cutlery , furniture or anything.

We have already moved two houses into one. What I really dont need is more stuff what would actually help is a wee bit of cash to go towards feeding this mob. However I will submit a small list for folk who just dont agree with giving cash.

hunnymonster

A wedding list doens't have to be household stuff. Two triathlete friends of mine had their list at an online triathlon store.....

bethan_b

I think they are a great idea

starbuy85

hi, im just wondering as this is quite an old post have your opinions changed much?

ABajaninCork

Personally, I think lists are a good idea. That way, the couple have what they want, and the guest knows the gift will be put to good use. I know of couples who have asked for holiday vouchers to go towards their honeymoon.

We didn't want a list. All we asked for was M & S or Debs vouchers, but we still got cash and gifts, all of which were welcome and we were very grateful for. OTOH - a couple we know not only asked for cash and vouchers, they also had a list which I think is plain greedy!

Gatica

I don't that that sounds greedy, I think it sounds like they're giving guests a wide range of gifting options.

I think the last few posts of the old thread sounded reasonable, an unadvertised gift list. If people really want guidance on what to give you and they're not into giving cash, it's a good option for them. At the same time you're not precluding others from giving cash, which is usually preferred by couples.

We didn't have a list. We just didn't have time to decide on a store and then go pick a bunch of items. We have almost everything we need already. We did get a number of gifts from people, which have all turned out to be lovely and even if we don't get to use them often at the moment, we probably will at some point.