7 months and still in pain

LegacyUser

first time poster long time listener!

Its been 7+ months since i broke up with the woman of my dreams. we had only been seeing each other for 6 months but i fell hard for her.

does anyone have any idea how i could go about moving on

LadyJ

It took me almost 2 years to get over a previous relationship and it's not something you can really rush. We all heal in different ways and in our own time. One way to move things along is to spend time with friends and go out and have some fun.

Go on dates maybe,nothing too serious but spending time with other women will help. At first you'll compare everyone to your ex but eventually you will move past that.

It can take a long time for some people and it may seem that you will never feel better. Some days will be worse than others but eventually things will change.

iremex

sounds like you have experienced your first love.

took me 2years to get over my ex too. it will take you a while but know that you are over the "worst" of it. for me after the first year, it got easier and now, 4years on, i dont even think about her and am happy when i was told she was getting married etc etc..

try not to let it change you, leave a bitter in your mouth or become untrusting towards the opposite sex. that what happened to me for a period but i guess it helped work things through.

after that cycle finished, i saw the wonders of women again

as a friend of mine says "you dont become a man until you fall in love and your heart gets broken!"
think of it like a rites of passage and im sure you will look back on it and happier for it happening to you (in time)


best of luck.

rferguson

iremex wrote:

sounds like you have experienced your first love.

took me 2years to get over my ex too. it will take you a while but know that you are over the "worst" of it. for me after the first year, it got easier and now, 4years on, i dont even think about her and am happy when i was told she was getting married etc etc..

try not to let it change you, leave a bitter in your mouth or become untrusting towards the opposite sex. that what happened to me for a period but i guess it helped work things through.

after that cycle finished, i saw the wonders of women again

as a friend of mine says "you dont become a man until you fall in love and your heart gets broken!"
think of it like a rites of passage and im sure you will look back on it and happier for it happening to you (in time)


best of luck.

make alot of sense!!!

LegacyUser

'Jesus you sound like the male version of me.

I split up with a guy about 7 months ago too. We'd only been together almost 6 months.

People seem to assume that if you weren't together years then you should be able to get over in a matter of weeks. It takes time but you will get there. For what it's worth you seem to have her on a pedastel, calling her the woman of your dreams. I'm not suggesting that you should think badly of her but try and remember that she wasn't perfect, no-one is.

Once you can see that she too had her faults you'll stop comparing other women to this ideal that you have in your mind and it'll be easier to move on.

Good Luck'

LegacyUser

7 Months too wrote:

Once you can see that she too had her faults you'll stop comparing other women to this ideal that you have in your mind and it'll be easier to move on.

Good Luck'

Thats the thing. my mates have told me to do that. but i cant find a fault.maybe love is blind but i seriously cant find a fault.

I think i have it bad :-)

dvega

I wouldn't beat yourself up over it.
The grieving period for people may take longer than others,if your still in contact or you see her from time to time even if its walking down the street it may take longer.
Go out on dates it doesn't have to be anything serious it will just make you see what your missing out on.
I know from experience when i broke up with my gf of 3 years,i just wasn't bothered meeting other women for about a year,unless they were one night stands,basically i just wasn't ready,if it takes 2 years to get over someone so be it.Just go out and have some fun,you'll know when your ready to settle into another relationship,it will hit you before you know it!

LegacyUser

'I know where you're coming from with having it bad.
I still really miss my ex.

What's worked for me in the past and for friends of mine too is to see the person again. It all depends on how/why the relationship ended but are you in a position to meet up with her for a drink or a coffee?

I'm assuming that the last time you spoke to her re: the break up was when emotions were running high? Now that you've had your space for the past 7 months you're in a better position emotionally & meeting her for a chat might help you say a proper goodbye.

Doesn't work for everyone but I know that I feel better about exes I met up with again than the ones I didn't.'

dazftw

wow...

I was with a girl 6 months and it took me 7 months to get over her still have a soft spot for her but I have met someone else and it doesn't bother me anymore I just wish that soft spot wasn't there cause it kinda interferes with my new gf whom I want so much more and am way happier with!

Yea it will take awhile yes nothing to serious for awhile id say it was 6 months before I met another girl and it never worked out but im glad I had that little thing with the other girl because it made me realize what I was missing out on!

Give it time it will get better just as previous posters said and I agree everyone is different


Oh and iremex the thing you said about becoming a man and stuff I fully agree with you on that I know if we do break up that it will be alot easier and stuff cause I know exactly what to do to make it better!

LegacyUser

'Well. I just got a kick in the gut. i was emailing my ex just chatting about nothing special when she tells me she is seeing someone else. I know it was enevitable. but i nearly died. im soooo upset right now'

humanji

Yeah, you'll get that a lot. The best thing to do is to not think of it, but of course you will constantly. It happens to us all, so just toddle on with life and everything will work itself out.

Mighty_Mouse

'Well. I just got a kick in the gut. i was emailing my ex just chatting about nothing special when she tells me she is seeing someone else. I know it was enevitable. but i nearly died. im soooo upset right now'

............hence zero contact best...........yada.........yada

ps
Id be inclined to think she told you on purpose. Hint?

rferguson

Mighty_Mouse wrote:

............hence zero contact best...........yada.........yada

ps
Id be inclined to think she told you on purpose. Hint?

What sort of hint would that be?

Petey2006

7 months wrote:

'Well. I just got a kick in the gut. i was emailing my ex just chatting about nothing special when she tells me she is seeing someone else. I know it was enevitable. but i nearly died. im soooo upset right now'

Dude, that sucks. I was in a similar situation to you. I was head over heels for a girl and we broke up, only because of geography. She was home ever few weeks, but due to the fact that she was going to be away for 3 years, we figured it was best to make a break of it. However, we'd still see each other every few weeks and spend every moment together. Then the day I'd been dreading arrived and she told me she was seeing someone. I plunged into a pit of despair from which I thought I'd never get out. But it got easier. I held off from seeing her all I could, which was difficult since she's a sister of my mate, but over time, I did get over it. I know it seems like nothing will make the pain go away, but time will take care of it. Now I see her quite often and we get on great, with no residual feelings from me (from her, I think I see something, but that's a different story entirely), although I'm still fond of her, of course.

Smart Guy

I know it is hard but lets look at the positives here. NO 1 - You are a lucky person to have experienced love and know what it feels like. NO 2 - The relationship broke up after six months not after years or a broken engagement ect. N0 3 - She was attracted to you in the first place or it would not have lasted six months, and therefore so will someone else.

As you say she was the love of your life, that is your life to date, what is to say you have not found your true love yet and if this relationship continued you may never find your true love. Every problem is magnified when it is you constant focus. Change something in your life that will change your attention, help you meet new people and make you feel better like joining a gym.

Life is short this is not a trial run so do your best to live it to the full.

chlara anne

hi all im new here!
my partner and i split up four months ago. we'd been togeather for ten years. but feelings are hurt and confused when you split no matter how long your with someone. but relationships do end for a reason and smart guy has a point had you stayed with someone who wasnt the one, belive me it would be worse for both of you in the end. i know it must be painful to know she met someone else, my ex and i havent come to that yet but we both know we will at some stage. and its the worst low in the healing prosess after a break up. you miss your ex alot, so do i an i was the one ended the relationship. but i think people mostly miss the comfort of being with someone they know respects and cares for them and farmiliarity, when that is gone its pretty scary and you feel lost, whether your the dumper or the dumpee its still a loss of someone. im trying to start a new life now too and i joined a gym , keep in contact with as many friends as i can and try not to hang out on my own too much. just remember everyone goes through this at some point in their lives which is useless info cause it still hurts like hell. but i hope in time it will fade.:

LegacyUser

'im really finding hard to get through this. on today of all days. its really really hard. i cried on my way into work today and i dont think its the last of it'

g-punkteffekt

just try to forget about her. After a while you'll probably realise you didn't even know her that well, and that it was an obsession of sorts, that's first love for you. She's seeing someone else of course, that always happens with women. You're probably thinking he's better looking, better in bed, more fun etc. but most women rush into things with a new bloke after a relationship, it probably wont last long for her. Just keep busy all the time and don't get drunk and call her and text her. Join a gym and go every day, the exercise really makes you feel good and positive.

\m/_(>_<)_\m/

7months wrote:

first time poster long time listener!

Its been 7+ months since i broke up with the woman of my dreams. we had only been seeing each other for 6 months but i fell hard for her.

does anyone have any idea how i could go about moving on

best thing i can advise is find a better woman, not the woman of your dreams but the woman of your fantasies.

Overheal

Isnt a dream a fantasy? You're subconcious knows a lot more about you than you're conciousness is willing to admit

I've never been in a relationship but I've seen this thing where people get completely sick with depression. It's hard to tell whom is the more forunate, imho.

LegacyUser

'

7 months wrote:

'Well. I just got a kick in the gut. i was emailing my ex just chatting about nothing special when she tells me she is seeing someone else. I know it was enevitable. but i nearly died. im soooo upset right now'

that sorta thing happened to me aswell except he didnt tell me, i caught him with my now former best friend in town one day. i was only with him about 6months but i was comletely in love with him. now that was back on october and im still completely wrecked over it but ya just have to keep lookin forward and know that you'll find someone else...'