College Quotes

daithimac

Hi everybody!!!
I thought about it for a while and was thinking how funny it could be to have a thread for people to put up things that they have heard people say while in the college, either in class or outside it by other students or lecturers.
Now we all know that the boards charter prevents us from using peoples names in a insulting way so I thought that I would set out a few guidelines (or rather Rules written in stone which shall Not be Broken Upon Pain of Death) which people should keep too.

1. All quotes shall be unidentified. DO NOT USE NAMES!
2. No quotes that people are well know for saying. DO NOT USE NAMES!
3.Don't use thread to Flame people. DO NOT USE NAMES!
4.Don't Give Details which could easily identify the person you are quoting.DO NOT USE NAMES!
5. Don't use Nicknames or descriptions of the person you are quoting.DO NOT USE NAMES!
6.Don't state what class you were in when you heard the quote DO NOT USE NAMES!
7.DO NOT USE NAMES!

I hope that I have been Pretty clear on that anyway I'll start the ball rolling with a quote I heard a lecturer saying " Oh there was a great story an old US president used to tell. Which one was it? ah yes the lunatic one. Regan!"
For some reason I found that the funniest part of my day.:D

StupidLikeAFox

"Do not use names!" - Anonymous

hallelujah

Conversation between two boys smoking the hashish behind the sports hall-

"Will we burn the place down?"

"No, I'm too stoned."

wheres me jumpa

Not a direct quote but one that appears in the first year of every course.

Lecturer: Where the hell have you been the last two months?
Student: Eh, Ive had family problems.

The_B_Man

-Student walks in late
-Lecturer: WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN TIL NOW?
-Student: Eh....I was offf...ehhh......doin.....stufff...eh...wit me girlfriend....
-Lecturer: .....Oh.....

daithimac

one of the lads after seeing a hot girl walk by.

"I'd suck farts straight out of that young one"

lynch_3001

a student is handed a question, a triangle, where you have to find x read the attachments what he said

Dempsey

Teacher: "You have only been to one class in three months"
Student: "WHA! I've been to two!"

1st week of college

Student: *FAAAAARRRT*
Teacher to the class but looking at the Student: "Ya know that two techicians have been fired for that sort of thing"
*Turns back to the board*
Another Student: *FART*

daithimac

lynch_3001 wrote:

a student is handed a question, a triangle, where you have to find x read the attachments what he said

Reminds me of a mate in secondary school who I was in a business class with. We were doing a test and one of the questions was "define team formation" we all did the test and when it came time to hand them up the teacher came around to collect our sheets. when she got around to him she let out a roar of "what the hell is this." He had drawn a sheet with a picture of a soccer pitch with barthez Neville, jonson, neville, Irwin etc.

Totally outstanding

Overheal

"how do you spell across?"

- "a-c-r-o-s-s"

"no, as in 'across the road'?"

ShayK1

Overheal wrote:

"how do you spell across?"

- "a-c-r-o-s-s"

"no, as in 'across the road'?"

What??

Nalz

ShayK1 wrote:

What??

he thought that the word "across" was spelt different to "a cross" (as in a religious symbol) without the space.

Overheal

"What??"

what a line....

Genghiz Cohen

While the opening scene of the 'hills have eyes' is rolling:
"Lads is this a court-room thriller?"
you know who you are.


"I do want to pass this course, but, you see....
Theres this REALLY hot girl that moved into our house, and......
...."

Schism

Genghiz Cohen wrote:

While the opening scene of the 'hills have eyes' is rolling:
"Lads is this a court-room thriller?"
you know who you are.
...."

Poor fella, he didnt hear the end of that for a a while

KamiKazi

Earthworm Jim! wrote:

Poor fella, he didnt hear the end of that for a a while

haha :P

KamiKazi

thought this was funny when i heard it:

yeah so i played playboy the mansion a while ago.

its REALLY unrealistic!!

Overheal

"Flip the Bits"