Boring girlfriend!

LegacyUser

I was gonna post here explaining a resason why its not working with my gf but to hell with it, i figured out the main reason.
I've been going out with a completely boring girl for the past year and a half.

In the past 18 months:
>we havent left Co. Dublin together, not to mind a weekend break somewhere.
>she has'nt ever introduced me to any of her family members.
>i've never been to her house and never invited.
>she's never up for going out socialising!
> sex life is boring also, restricted to 2 positions!
>when im with my mates and we're having a laugh, all i hear from her is "stop being so childish"

I've finally succumbed to the fact that she's pretty much a crap gf and want to break up with her.
I would have done it ages ago if she was'nt so damn hot! I mean, i would struggle to find a girl half as good looking as this girl but i suppose whats the point in going out with a stunner if she has the personality of a door?

Any ideas on how to end it? First relationship so i have'nt broke up with someone before.

Red Hand

Well, I hope this is a troll, but if not, why are you wasting this girl's time when she could be happy with someone who is happy with her.

Imo, you need to tell her that things aren't working out between you two (as you only seem to want to be with her cause she's good-looking). Do it somewhere private.

If you wanted to do stuff with her, or liven up your relationship, why didn't you make the effort and do something as regards weekend away?

Don't be stringing people along like that in the future cause its not nice.

biko

I concur

edit/ It takes two to tango. If you cannot get it to work then you should move on. I'm sure you can find a more spirited girl and she will find someone with a slower pace of life. G'luck

Ruu_Old

Suprise her with a weekend abroad, doesn't have to be very far and probably won't break the bank either. Why did you get together in the first place? Was it just the physical attraction?

free2fly

You've been together 18 months and she's never introduced you to her family? That's a bit odd don't you think?

Have you talked to her about the way you're feeling or will the breakup be a total surprise to her?

chuci

have you not talked to her about this?i agree its odd that you have neither been to her house or met any members of her family is she from dublin in the first place?if her family live else where ta da weekend away. why dont you organise something for ye to do to go away? if she does just have the personality of a plank good looks will only take you so far and it looks like you have reached that.

Black Swan

Jeremiah 16:1 wrote:

you need to tell her that things aren't working out between you two (as you only seem to want to be with her cause she's good-looking). Do it somewhere private.

Agree.

Marksie

boredwithher wrote:

In the past 18 months:
>we havent left Co. Dublin together, not to mind a weekend break somewhere.
>she has'nt ever introduced me to any of her family members.
>i've never been to her house and never invited.
>she's never up for going out socialising!
> sex life is boring also, restricted to 2 positions!
>when im with my mates and we're having a laugh, all i hear from her is "stop being so childish"

and what exactly did you do about it?

a relationship is about effective communication... did you do any of this?
Did you for example show initiative in s*x and suggest different positions ot try them? or did you hope that she would suddenly gain the relevant knowledge?
Explain in private your issues and give her chance to explain. If you are still determined to break up, be as compassionate and for goodness sake, think about what you are saying, there is nothing so humiliating as saying that someone is boring or crap in bed etc.

BeardyGit

boredwithher wrote:

I was gonna post here explaining a resason why its not working with my gf but to hell with it, i figured out the main reason.
I've been going out with a completely boring girl for the past year and a half.

In the past 18 months:
>we havent left Co. Dublin together, not to mind a weekend break somewhere.
>she has'nt ever introduced me to any of her family members.
>i've never been to her house and never invited.
>she's never up for going out socialising!
> sex life is boring also, restricted to 2 positions!
>when im with my mates and we're having a laugh, all i hear from her is "stop being so childish"

I've finally succumbed to the fact that she's pretty much a crap gf and want to break up with her.
I would have done it ages ago if she was'nt so damn hot! I mean, i would struggle to find a girl half as good looking as this girl but i suppose whats the point in going out with a stunner if she has the personality of a door?

Any ideas on how to end it? First relationship so i have'nt broke up with someone before.

I don't agree with Mark - It's not always necessary to sit down and talk with people and explain what the problems are. The OP said he'd have broken up ages ago, so it's not like this is just a recent rocky patch. He's not once said he loves or used to love her. Nothing about the relationship strikes me as being particularly good, or particularly 'normal' - Never met her family, never go out together, never go away together etc. So just dump her. Tell her you want out. It's very simple really - Don't be cruel but don't go out of your way to 'coach' her on relationships.

LegacyUser

'Cheers for the replies...
@Ruu... I did surprise her with a weekend away for christmas but all i got was, i cant go because 'insert stupid excuse here'.
And yes it was the physical attraction at first.

She doesnt invite me to her house because she says her parents dont approve of that sort of thing. I mean she's 24 ffs!

@marksuttonie: Yes i have tried to liven up the bedroom situation on a number of occassions last year but my responses were "i dont like it that way or 'thats nasty" I dont even try anymore.. i'm happy enough with the plain sex i can manage!

and guys yes, i do love her but recently i find myself falling out of love with her rapidly... I cant dump her before valentines day though. thats just cruel.

I understand the communication advice but if i sit her down and bombard her with all these problems she'll probably just get hysterical on me.

Arrrghh! women!'

shels

First thing is first, does not matter if she is hot or not if she aint making you hapy then its not worth it. better off to be happy with someone half as nice then to be unhappy. She sounds very very boring. I hate women like that. So my advise would be get out of it as soon as possible.

LegacyUser

Boredwithher wrote:

'Cheers for the replies...


and guys yes, i do love her but recently i find myself falling out of love with her rapidly... I cant dump her before valentines day though. thats just cruel.

seriously if you've made up your mind about dumping her do it before valentines. Spending the day doing all the lovey dovey crap and leading her to believe you still feel strongly about her only to break up with her a few days/weeks later...thats cruel.

shes gonna be hurt no matter when you break up with her at least have the decency to not lure her into a false sense of security.

*two cents*

Caliden

She sounds like an idiot who doesn't understand the term adventurous.
Her -> kerb

kaalgat

boredwithher wrote:

I would have done it ages ago if she was'nt so damn hot! I mean, i would struggle to find a girl half as good looking as this girl but i suppose whats the point in going out with a stunner if she has the personality of a door?

Seriously?

So what if she's hot? Wouldn't you rather have someone that's fun to be around and likes to do fun things?

You said yourself "what's the point in going out with a stunner if she has the personality of a door?".
You've answered your own question.

Kell

Boredwithher wrote:

I cant dump her before valentines day though. thats just cruel.'

So is being a boring as fúck partner who isnt interested in doing anything for her partner.

Lose the lame áss irrelevant of how she looks.

K-

cold_filter

boredwithher wrote:

I was gonna post here explaining a resason why its not working with my gf but to hell with it, i figured out the main reason.
I've been going out with a completely boring girl for the past year and a half.

In the past 18 months:
>we havent left Co. Dublin together, not to mind a weekend break somewhere.
>she has'nt ever introduced me to any of her family members.
>i've never been to her house and never invited.
>she's never up for going out socialising!
> sex life is boring also, restricted to 2 positions!
>when im with my mates and we're having a laugh, all i hear from her is "stop being so childish"

I've finally succumbed to the fact that she's pretty much a crap gf and want to break up with her.
I would have done it ages ago if she was'nt so damn hot! I mean, i would struggle to find a girl half as good looking as this girl but i suppose whats the point in going out with a stunner if she has the personality of a door
Any ideas on how to end it? First relationship so i have'nt broke up with someone before.

I had a similar situation to this, friends first though, she was gorgeous, when we finally started going out, my god she was boring in bed i mean no fingers no tongues, hope on board and that was it, what a let down and she didnt want to try anything else, she didnt introduce me to her parents as they wouldnt approve and we'd had have to sit in the front room watching TV with them.

And she never wanted to go anywhere apart from the pub up the road, I dumped her and got with a little sex kitten!!

chump

Why don't you discuss your concerns with the lady in question. Raise the issues you have put to us here. She may respond favorably and who knows a month down the line you might have a 'pocket rocket' and an interesting intelligent fun girlfriend.

airetam_storm

2centy wrote:

seriously if you've made up your mind about dumping her do it before valentines. Spending the day doing all the lovey dovey crap and leading her to believe you still feel strongly about her only to break up with her a few days/weeks later...thats cruel.

shes gonna be hurt no matter when you break up with her at least have the decency to not lure her into a false sense of security.

*two cents*

Would it not be better to leave her after valentines day so she doesnt feel absolutely miserable on the 14th?

Chucky the tree

dont buy anything expensive for her anyway, or even take her out for dinner. Keep the money for beers with the lads and going on the pull on the weekend.

King of Kings

Op - get outha there, if you pulled one hot chick you can pull another.
Anyway it sounds like a high price you're paying for some eye-candy for your arm.

so stop being a wimp and get outha there. valentines or not.

grahamo

I had a 'boring girlfriend' once. Took me a while to kop on though. Give her the elbow and don't waste any more of your life on her! You won't regret it.

LegacyUser

I agree with most of the people here. My last gf was boring as hell. Before we were going out she was always on about how "guy's are only attracted to plain girls, not exciting girls like me". Unfortunately what she meant by excitement was going out and gettting drunk. It had nothing to do with the bedroom. No weekends away, she mostly went home to her folks, sex was laughable. Get out man and save yourself hassle.

Dudess

:eek: I'm actually reeling at the vileness of the original post - and the vileness of some of the replies.
So you find your girlfriend boring (to be fair, she does sound boring) but you don't want to drop her because she's really good-looking. I truly despair of guys like you.:mad: You want to break up with her and you're not interested in her, but the fact that she's beautiful holds you back.:rolleyes: My God, you have some serious insecurity issues. I have to bear in mind the "attack the post, not the poster" rule of PI, but it's difficult - really difficult. I just hope she finds you out for what you are.
Try doing something nice for someone, you'll be surprised by how good it makes you feel - break up with her.
And other posters, why have you been so soft on this guy??!!

cold_filter

Dudess!!
Because us posters have been in the same position. Also a friend of mine had the same problem with her boyfriend, He never wanted to go out that included to the pub or cinema or whatever it took her a year of trying to change him around before she dumped, thats a year she'll never get back!!

nitrogen

This girl sounds like a friend of a friend's wife.
We call her Happy.

Ignoring the boredom for a second, the "stop acting childish" comment when you're with your friends is a clear sign you are with someone who doesn't want you to be yourself.

Dudess

cold_filter wrote:

Dudess!!
Because us posters have been in the same position. Also a friend of mine had the same problem with her boyfriend, He never wanted to go out that included to the pub or cinema or whatever it took her a year of trying to change him around before she dumped, thats a year she'll never get back!!

cold_filter, you misunderstand me. I totally empathise with the boring aspect (I admitted that in my angry post! ) But what really irks me is the "I can't dump her because she's so hot!" remark. Grrrr!! What a little *insert most severe insult possible here*.

cold_filter

Dudess wrote:

cold_filter, you misunderstand me. I totally empathise with the boring aspect (I admitted that in my angry post! ) But what really irks me is the "I can't dump her because she's so hot!" remark. Grrrr!! What a little *insert most severe insult possible here*.

But shes hot and maybe he doesnt feel he could get anyone as good looking??

In my opinion id rather have a person whos good in bed and "average" looking that a stunner whos terrible(which i had)

Dudess

Being good in bed, being hot etc - those are fair enough qualities to look for when all you want is a casual fling, no-strings sex, a shag buddy etc. But not for a relationship. Isn't a relationship supposed to be between two people who love, respect and trust each other?
I find the idea of people rating their girlfriend/boyfriend (i.e. the person with whom they are supposed to be in a relationship) on looks and/or sexual performance rather depressing. If that's all it boils down to, then it's not a relationship.

Marksie

Boredwithher wrote:

@Ruu... I did surprise her with a weekend away for christmas but all i got was, i cant go because 'insert stupid excuse here'.
And yes it was the physical attraction at first.

Was it a stupid excuse? or did it just seem that to you?. Did you ask her why you never go anywhere?

Boredwithher wrote:

She doesnt invite me to her house because she says her parents dont approve of that sort of thing. I mean she's 24 ffs!

Parents have a lasting influence on offspring. and what is the "thing" they do not approve of? visiting?

Boredwithher wrote:

@marksuttonie: Yes i have tried to liven up the bedroom situation on a number of occassions last year but my responses were "i dont like it that way or 'thats nasty" I dont even try anymore.. i'm happy enough with the plain sex i can manage!

and so you metaphorically turned and went to sleep. There is a little golden rule: if you want your partner to be an ecstatic lover, become one yourself. We are not talking about super stud, but developing intimacy. Touch and time and care, not being forceful, but not getting upset. A realtionship is more than sex, and depsite what others may say, COMMUNICATION is very important. You have been with this woman 18months and it would appear there are major communication issues. From your partner in expressing feelings, whys and wherefores, and in yourself in the way you may, or may not, be trying to overcome this. I certainly would be trying to find out why she considers that things are dirty etc.

Boredwithher wrote:

I understand the communication advice but if i sit her down and bombard her with all these problems she'll probably just get hysterical on me.

Then don't bombard. and don't get upset, don't say... YOU make me feel this way, but I feel.
For example: "i felt disappointed when we didn't go away at christmas" Rather than "you didn't want to go away with me at christmas" The former may get her to talk, the latter will get her defensive.
give her chance to reply and don't press if you don't get a reply
I am correct in thinking that its your first relationship so it is a learning curve.
Look i am not proportioning blame to anyone in this. It is obvious you are both in it. But it does stem down to a lack of basic connection, after 18 months, you should have some idea why she is like this.
The physical attraction drew you to her, but have you made any attempt to find out about her as a person, what makes her tick as it were?

Really, is she aware of how you feel? She should be. She should have some idea.
I am not saying either that this relationship is workable as stands, but if as you say you love her, it is reasonable to try ever avenue before breaking it off

littlesurfer

i was going out with my ex boyfriend last valentines day, he got me roses and a card, but a week later we had broken up. I broke up with him but it was mutual really.. anyway valentines day was ****. i felt worse getting the flowers and the roses and ****.

She wont melt or die, just break up with her now! Its worse if you go through a whole lieon the 14th

Actually got back with that guy for a year but the story still makes sense.

She doesn't sound very interesting, who cares if she's hot. lots of hot girls with a sense of adventure...

Femelade

so? did the OP finish it before or after Valentines i wonder....or is he still with her because she's "hot"..

LegacyUser

Im still with her...
Did'nt have the heart to break up with her on valentines.
On the bright side though, I've taken marksuttonie's advice on board and we've been communicating a lot better recently...

StormWarrior

Going on what you said in the first post, it doesn't necessarily sound like she's boring. It sounds to me like she's ashamed to be seen with you.

If she was just boring, I could understand the not going anywhere. But that doesn't explain why she has kept you away from her family.

You say when you're "having a laugh" with your mates she tells you to stop being childish. Perhaps your juvenile behaviour embarrasses her?

You complain she's not adventurous enough in bed and says no to the things you want to try. Maybe you're either rubbish in bed and she wants to get it over sooner, or maybe you are asking her to do perverted things that she doesn't feel comfortable with? Maybe you're pressurising her to do things she doesn't want to. That's a turn off for anyone. Or maybe she's not attracted to you any more.

You've never been invited to her house and she basically won't go out in public with you. I think she's just ashamed of you, and given your frankly horrible comments about sticking with someone who has the personality of a door just cos they're a looker, I don't blame her. Maybe she is currently going through a dilemma of how best to dump you. Do the poor girl a favour and set her free.

Dudess

Nice one StormWarrior! I was beginning to despair of the replies empathising with the OP. I know not all of them were, but it's nice to finally see a "you're being a horrible person" reply. OP, you obviously have no interest in her and your sex life is unfulfilling so what advice other than "break up with her" do you expect? Oh, but she's hot so there must be an alternative. Well there is an alternative: stay with her to use her as arm candy. :rolleyes:

I can't believe you refer to her as your girlfriend when you talk the way you do about her. Did you ever love or respect her? Or did you just get with her in the first place because she's hot?

zeusnero

Boredwithher wrote:

'
And yes it was the physical attraction at first.
'

Dudess!

OP has already said that it was...

And go easy on the guy ffs. To be fair, it sounds like he has tried to change things around and spice up his relationship, it's not like he just in there for the sex.

It looks to me like he's going to give it a shot and who knows, maybe things will improve. Good luck with her OP and if you do break up with her, let her down gently!

Dudess

I hear where you're coming from zeusnero, but no, I'm not convinced. It seems simple to me: he'd drop her like a hot potato if she wasn't that beautiful because there would not be a single reason to stay with her, but in this case, she is beautiful, so there is a single reason to stay with her. And that's why he's working on communication etc. Clutching at what straws there are that will give him an excuse to not have to dump this "hot" trophy girl.

Chucky the tree

Dudess wrote:

I hear where you're coming from zeusnero, but no, I'm not convinced. It seems simple to me: he'd drop her like a hot potato if she wasn't that beautiful because there would not be a single reason to stay with her, but in this case, she is beautiful, so there is a single reason to stay with her. And that's why he's working on communication etc. Clutching at what straws there are that will give him an excuse to not have to dump this "hot" trophy girl.

So? Most* fella's wouldnt say no to a trophy girlfirned.


Except the male posters on boards though, there a fine bunch who treat women like princesses. :rolleyes:

Firetrap

You've clearly got a low opinion of your girlfriend and are only going out with her because you like having a hot woman on your arm and you get regular sex. Why are you wasting your time with her? If you were single again, you might get the chance to hook up with the nymphomaniac intellectual babe you so desire.