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Comparing penises on the Luas

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    #62
    PiE
    Registered Users Posts: 5,538 ✭✭✭PiE


    Penises have been around for years.


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    #63
    faceman
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Arts Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 16,610 CMod ✭✭✭✭faceman


    I have penis v2.1. But not the vista version.


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    #64
    Max_Damage
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,461 ✭✭✭Max_Damage


    nachos wrote:
    This afternoon on the Luas, I was witness to one of the worst things I've ever seen.

    I got on the Luas at Connolly station around 2.30 this afternoon. When I was getting on, 3 scumbags got on too. A woman and 2 fellas, all of whom were pissed.

    So they're doing their usual scumbag thing of drinking, shouting and being generally annoying when scumbag #1 asks woman scumbag who has the bigger penis between him and scumbag #2. They're arguing back and forth and it's getting quite heated and it looks like it might come to blows, so woman scumbag suggests they both "show yis have". They both think this is a fantastic idea so they both stand up in the luas, pull down their tracksuit bottoms and whip their lads out. Just to put some context on it, this was between busaras and abbey street as we were stopped for about 10 minutes in traffic in a fairly full tram. Also, I'm sitting opposite them so I heard everything. I saw nothing as I was looking out the window and staring as intently as I could on the road.

    So back to this charming group of lads. So the two lads have their mickeys hanging out and woman scumbag (presiding as judge) declares scumbag #2 the winner. You'd think scumbag #1 would try to muster up some dignity and pull his cax back up. Oh no. He's not going to let this go without a fight. He starts protesting that the cold was affecting him badly. Also, when he's "on the horn" he's much bigger than #2 would ever be. Scumbag #2 says something along the lines of "prove it". So scumbag #1 does exactly that. To preserve what little modesty he had left, #1 goes off to the corner and has a bit of a **** to show his friends what he's like when he's "on the horn". While #1 heads off to the corner to pleasure himself on a tram, I take the opportunity to fight my way through the crowds and get to the other end of the train. As I tried to get out, there was definite "fapping" noises coming from the corner. I could hear the shrieks of delight from the front of the train as he arrived back to his good friends with an erection.

    I couldn't believe people could be so disgusting and vulgar until today. Why would anyone think any of this was a good idea? Did none of them think, "wait a minute, this means I'll have to take my penis out in public on a tram?". Anyone seen anything as disgusting as this on public transport or elsewhere?

    This is exaclty the reason why I pay €1,800 in car insurance! :D


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    #65
    InFront
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,698 ✭✭✭InFront


    Gazza22 wrote:
    The luas is a haven for weirdos....everyone that takes the luas daily would know that....

    Not sure if it's as bad as Dublin Bus though. I get the Luas into college nearly every day and the most that's ever happened is some stranger starts chatting, which isn't bad of course! No horror stories at least

    I can't wait till we get the metro. Lots of stories like Pythias:eek: ... there's just something about metros that attracts a city's eccentrics.


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    #66
    Terry
    Registered Users Posts: 26,061 ✭✭✭✭Terry


    Pythia wrote:
    When I was in New York earlier this year we travelled on the subway a lot.
    There was a big pool of liquid on one of the seats and a homeless man sitting beside it. Turns out he had 'relieved' himself on the subway tram, and because he was out of it or whatever left his lad out on view and fell asleep. He was about 60 and it was really disgusting.
    We jumped out of the carriage and onto the next one.
    I walked over to the pub for some beers about half an hour ago.
    On the way I saw some guy pissing in the middle of the path.
    I said " you could have at least go into the corner", but him and his friend just laughed.
    Jim morrisson was right. People are strange.


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    #67
    cournioni
    Moderators, Regional North East Moderators Posts: 12,739 Mod ✭✭✭✭cournioni


    I compare my penis with the Luas...


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    #68
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 31,118 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    And!!!! :)


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    #69
    el rabitos
    Registered Users Posts: 2,731 ✭✭✭el rabitos


    faceman wrote:
    I have penis v2.1. But not the vista version.

    aw man, u need to get v2.5 with vista, you can even upload an mp3 and have your penis its own theme tune

    plus you can upload the nifty anti-virus and your clap-free. god bless norton anti-virus


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    #70
    cournioni
    Moderators, Regional North East Moderators Posts: 12,739 Mod ✭✭✭✭cournioni


    Deleted User wrote:
    And!!!! :)
    I win. :cool:


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    #71
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 31,118 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    PORNAPSTER wrote:
    I win. :cool:
    in what way :D


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    #72
    Ghost Train
    Registered Users Posts: 30,248 ✭✭✭✭Ghost Train


    PORNAPSTER wrote:
    I compare my penis with the Luas...

    those cctv operators must have a great laugh watching things like that


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    #73
    Terry
    Registered Users Posts: 26,061 ✭✭✭✭Terry


    comparing penii on boards.ie. mine is biggest. any post disputing this will be deleted due to my fragile ego.


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    #74
    cournioni
    Moderators, Regional North East Moderators Posts: 12,739 Mod ✭✭✭✭cournioni


    Deleted User wrote:
    in what way :D
    Mine stretches the length of the tracks... Sandyford to Stephens Green obviously. :rolleyes:


    ;)


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    #75
    Ghost Train
    Registered Users Posts: 30,248 ✭✭✭✭Ghost Train


    Terry wrote:
    comparing penii on boards.ie. mine is biggest. any post disputing this will be deleted due to my fragile ego.

    not to be too anal but according to the urban dictionary
    "penii"
    A word made up by people uneducated in the ways of etymology. NOT THE PLURAL OF PENIS.

    The rule with aplural form with an I is derived from latin and is only applicable when the word ends in -US, and has no relevance whatsoever when the word ends in -IS.

    When a word ends in -IS, the correct plural form is, in fact, -ISES.

    edit: or you would also be right to use penes


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    #76
    patrickc
    Registered Users Posts: 7,895 ✭✭✭patrickc


    coming home on the luas Thurs nite (well back to red cow) a drunken man told me all about how his wife did the dirt on him so he paid for her to go on holidays and sold the house when she was away, said hes never seen her since.. :rolleyes:


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    #77
    imeddyhobbs
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,026 ✭✭✭imeddyhobbs


    I would have been very polite in that situation and walked up to that #of people and said...size does'nt matter,its how you use it.


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    #78
    Terry
    Registered Users Posts: 26,061 ✭✭✭✭Terry


    eolhc wrote:
    not to be too anal but according to the urban dictionary



    edit: or you would also be right to use penes
    Unless you are in the LGB forum, please do not use the words "penis" and "anal" in the same post.

    Not that there's anything wrong with that.


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    #79
    J.S. Pill
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,149 ✭✭✭J.S. Pill


    I've seen some amusing things on the green line but I don't think anything could compare to that!!!


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    #80
    InFront
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,698 ✭✭✭InFront


    eolhc wrote:
    not to be too anal but according to the urban dictionary

    "penii"
    A word made up by people uneducated in the ways of etymology. NOT THE PLURAL OF PENIS.

    The rule with aplural form with an I is derived from latin and is only applicable when the word ends in -US, and has no relevance whatsoever when the word ends in -IS.

    When a word ends in -IS, the correct plural form is, in fact, -ISES.

    It's when it ends in -ius, I think...?
    First thing that comes to mind: Haggis. Plural: Haggises
    Now of only there was some obvious English word that ended in -ius...

    Edit: Aha!
    Radius --> Radii


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    #81
    Ghost Train
    Registered Users Posts: 30,248 ✭✭✭✭Ghost Train


    InFront wrote:
    It's when it ends in -ius, I think...?

    the link uses this example though
    The Octopus was languid.
    The Octopi were languid.
    Hippopotamus/Hippopotami also

    they really should come down hard on the pricks that play with themselves on public transport and other related things, public nudity in a large open spaces is okay but nobody wants to get that up close and personal with a fellow dubs fella. Wonder would these guys get off as much having this competition home alone or is just that they enjoy hassling society at large and indecently exposing themselves. Would really like if cctv cameras etc were used to name and shame these idiots as it really reflects badly on the rest of us and the general standards irish society has

    okay i'm going to stop writing
    as kavanagh might say my
    pen is in the canal lol


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    #82
    il gatto
    Registered Users Posts: 3,021 ✭✭✭il gatto


    Heyes wrote:
    That is just pure nasty.... reminds me when i was walking home from school one day yeeeeeeears ago, and seeing some old guy at it. It does knock you for six, its not something you wana see.

    It's not? But...I thought...never mind (zipping up swiftly):confused:


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    #83
    Terry
    Registered Users Posts: 26,061 ✭✭✭✭Terry


    The name and shame thing is a good idea.
    My local supermarket puts pictures of shoplifters in the window at the entrance.
    It would be nice to see things like that on public transport.
    something like 'this person was smoking on the bus' or 'this person exposed their genitalia on this tram', 'if oyu know this person, please call 1800 xxxxxx'.


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    #84
    DonkeyStyle \o/
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,145 ✭✭✭DonkeyStyle \o/


    Terry wrote:
    The name and shame thing is a good idea.
    These people have no shame, clearly.
    I can just see Johnno and his mates sitting around bragging about it... "oi'm tellin yeh Jesinteh, g'wan out to the lewiss and lookeh, it's me bleeeeedin pic-choh"


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    #85
    Terry
    Registered Users Posts: 26,061 ✭✭✭✭Terry


    They would learn to feel shame when they start getting dirty looks from the other passengers.


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    #86
    shane86
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,584 ✭✭✭shane86


    This quite reminds me of my friends reaction when i told him id been given a webcam for christmas

    Me "I got a webcam"
    Him (without a seconds hesitation) "Deadly, ya can use that to show your mickey to birds on the net"

    :) :rolleyes: :D:p :eek: :confused:

    Im sorry, but each one of those smileys conveys a shade of opinion on that comment.


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