Request : Valentines poems

hussey

anyone got any short funny valentines poems, ideal for a text?

Cheers

threebeards

A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?"

"You'll know tonight." he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.

Delighted, she opened it--only to find a book entitled "The meaning of dreams".

Hagar

Roses are red
Violets are blueish
If it wasn't for Jesus
We'd all be Jewish

Sam Vimes

roses are red
violets are blue
you ruined my life
you bitch

Call Me Jimmy

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
my cock is both,
now let me stick it you

that'll make her weak at the knees...

Sofaspud

Roses are red
Violets are blue
all my base
are belong to you.

(Caution: only works on geeks)

Capt'n Midnight

Not very rosemantic but

Roses are red
Violets are blue
most poems rhyme
but this one doesn't

Scrotum

Our love will never become cold and hollow, unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.

I bought this Valentine's card at the store, in hopes that, later, you'd be my whore.

This feels so good, it feels so right, I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.

You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class, especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass.

Before I met you, my heart was so famished, but now I'm fulfilled... SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!

Through all the things that came to pass, our love has grown. . . but so's your ass.

You're a honey. . . and you're a cutie, I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty".

I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny, so right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!

If you think that hickey looks like a blister. You should check out the one that I gave to your sister!

wheelbarrow

Its on my little phone on which i type this text,
All to say that you will soon be my ex.
I`ve had my way with you, you`ve fulfilled your need,
and now in someone else i will plant my seed.

__________________________________

I send this valentines text, but i`m in a bit of a moan,
as there are not enough letters that appear on this phone.
There isn`t a word invented yet that describes what you are,
and to think i just went out with you `cos i was drunk at that bar.

_______________________________________

hussey

Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
In Soviet Russia
Card writes You!

Parsley

Roses are useless
Violets are silly
Grease up your *****
Cos here comes my willy

Hagar

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Any more like that
And I'll ban you


Remember this is a family friendly forum.

Zapp Brannigan

wheelbarrow wrote:

I send this valentines text, but i`m in a bit of a moan,
as there are not enough letters that appear on this phone.
There isn`t a word invented yet that describes what you are,
and to think i just went out with you `cos i was drunk at that bar.

lol! That is exactly the case with my ex! Why didn't I see this yesterday!! Brilliance!