didn't see that coming

LegacyUser

defo unreg for this one... quite ebarrassing situation so i'll just try coming straight to the point. Could really do with some advice.
So yesterday was valentines and my girlfriend and i had planned to have dinner at home which was nice and then onto afters. After dinner, she told me to go into the bedroom and she'd follow, as she had a surprise for me. Sounded exciting so i went up, undressed and waited for a few minutes. The next thing, she comes in wearing a latex mask and a strap on! Some may have liked that but I freaked out and the situation basically came down to her chasing after me with it until i'm shouting stop.
Now you may all think this is hilarious and i would think it a funny scenario too, but here's my big problem. My girlfriend now thinks I see her as a pervert/freak and she's too embarrassed to even talk about it. I don't think that at all, I was just stunned at the time. But I can't convince her of this and unless I do, I know she won't open up to me again and it'll affect our sex lives.
Can anyone give (constructive) advise on how to solve this?

5starpool

She must have got the idea from somewhere? I doubt she just thought "I have no indications that he will like it, but sure he's bound to, who wouldn't!!"

As for the embarrassment, just talk to her, and probably ask her is there anything you could do to help her out (if you get my drift). This might bring all of this in the open, but stress that you were just shocked, it's not something that appeals to you, and then tell her what does appeal to you. She is obviously open minded and willing to explore, so you should both take advantage of that unless you are not in favour of exploring different things.

Fanny Cradock

Now that's funny... It sounds like a scene out of a really dirty Benny Hill film. Sorry OP

I really think the only way to solve this is to reassure her that you don't think her a pervert, you appreciate the , er, gesture, but it's simply not your thing. Maybe in bed you could explain exactly what does float your boat, and if needs be what doesn't.

humanji

I agree with that above. Although it was a shock for you, there must be a reason for her to do this. Best sit her down and talk about it. Even if what she had planned is not for you, this could be the start of something. Many people want to spice up their sex life, but are afraid to bring it up. You could be onto a winner here.

loismustdie

how long have you been with her? a girl could get the idea that lads are into this from watching porn and thought she was doing a good thing. do something nice for her to show her you still like her and really do thank her for taking initiative but tell her you love sex with her and don't want it any different,a t least not that different

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

jenny!!!!!!!

cruachan7

are you 100% sure it was your girlfriend under the mask?

Nevyn

Mordeth, unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

Oryx

I know if I was her Id be so embarrassed Id want to weep. All you can do is talk to her about the whole thing, have a laugh about it between you if you can. Make her feel reassured that you have no objection to a bit of kink (Im assuming you dont) but that she just frightened the bejesus out of you by being so direct. The only answer is to talk and keep talking till she starts to see the funny side.

TheNog

Did she look a little taller or broader with hairs on the chest?

Caliden

woah, didn't see that coming either.
Definately talk to her about it, let her cry her eyes out if she has to but don't let her go on without talking about.

and again, woah

Marksie

I am going to try and give some helpful advice.

First you have to sit and talk with your girlfriend openly.
The points are:

1) she had thought it would be a nice surprise.
2) You were caught by surprise..but badly.
3) you overreacted

You will have to sit her down and explain that you were just shocked and it took you by suprise and you overreacted. That she isn't weird and that it would have been loevly. if you are not itersted in the strap on explain why, nerves, pain etc.

KatieK gave some very good advice.

make out that it was no big deal really and keep it humourous. try an approach that you thought you were going to be beaten to death, or that it waggling around scared yuo..whatever.

You could always suggest that she wear the mask first and offer to wear one with her. Keep it too that level for now.
just communicate that you are notsure about the other aspects, but that the mask may be a good idea..and sugegst using it in roleplay..that way both of you are discussing it.

Nevyn

TheNog, unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

Rattlehead_ie

Could'nt agree more with marksuttonie.
It would be an idea as stated to talk to her and see where she got the idea.
If she didnt get the idea from somewhere, it might be something she is interested in and therfore just talk to her about it.

BaZmO*

plug and play wrote:

she comes in wearing a latex mask and a strap on!

Was she also wearing pointy ears and a pointy nose like the kind that you'd see on a Troll for example?

LegacyUser

'

BaZmO* wrote:

Was she also wearing pointy ears and a pointy nose like the kind that you'd see on a Troll for example?

I'm actually surprised this thread wasn't riddled with troll claims. thanks to everyone who did give positive advise. I'm a bit calmer since first posting and i definitely will talk to her... getting her to believe me though will be the hard part. Answering some posts, I've no idea where she got the idea from. I suppose it's just something she's wanted to do... neither of us have ever brought up anal sex or anything'

Marksie

BaZmO* wrote:

Was she also wearing pointy ears and a pointy nose like the kind that you'd see on a Troll for example?

Somehow don't think so. but even if it is, you can bet this sudden surprise is going to happen to someone somewhere.
So they will know not to panic, and perhaps turn it into a laughter session straight away.

OP: It IS unusual unless a couple have explored the possibilities to leap straight to a strap on from nowhere, especially as men often have a real fear of such things.
Again just ask to have a look at them and while not ridiculing, just give gentle humour. Wave it around laugh and really just accept it for what it was, something, though a little shocking for you, was meant in the nicest way. Certainly the mask is harmless and that is where i would start.
So basically, make her believe by showing that you really are not bothered. yu can always discuss things, in fact you could turn it to a positive advantage by using the opportunity to really have a great time talking about your fantasies.
be positive

Shellie13

OP you are a guy rite?! soz jus from readin it i took it up wong...

LegacyUser

'

Shellie13 wrote:

OP you are a guy rite?! soz jus from readin it i took it up wong...

I am a guy.
Shellie, i know you're around 13 from your username so text writing is essential to you. However, is there any possibilty, any at all, that you could give that crap up and write properly? You may well find it improves your credability on Boards.'

TheVan

plug and play wrote:

Shellie, i know you're around 13 from your username so text writing is essential to you. However, is there any possibilty, any at all, that you could give that crap up and write properly? You may well find it improves your credability on Boards.'

Sorry, that just seems a bit rude and inconsiderate? This person is only trying to help you with your situation. Unless of course you are of the troll variety.

I've reported the post for irrelevant and unnecessary abuse.

plug and play wrote:

your credability

Also if you're going to get pedantic, you spelt credibility wrong.

Talliesin

OP, if there was anything you'd thought you'd like to try, but had been afraid to bring up with her, now might be a good idea - would reassure her if she's not the only one with a kink.

Fanny Cradock

TheVan wrote:

Soz, dat just semz a bit rude & inconsiderate? Dis prsn iz only trying 2 hlp u wit ur situation. Unless of course u r of teh troll variety.

I've reported d post 4 irrelevant & unnecessary abuse.

Also if you're going to get pedantic, you shouldn't have ended your first sentence with a question mark.

The OP was a little too heavy handed, but many people, myself included, find text speak and made-up words like "soz" (thank you urban dictionary - my only hope of understanding yoof speak) infuriating, especially when there is no reason for it.

Now where were we?

cork1

first of all "ha ha"only jokin.as far as i can see you have 2 options you do something embarrasing and let her catch you doing it then she might think you are a perfcet match as a pair of pervs.your next option is as they say "take one for the team"tell her to mask up and strap on.good luck your gonna need it

simu

What was she thinking? That's pretty specialist stuff - what are the chances you'd be into that? Or can you remeber any conversation that might have given her that impression?

I don't know, to me it sounds like she was deliberately trying to freak you out!

PeakOutput

no denying thats pretty out there but have you not seen road trip?? depending on the size of the dildo id give it a go but i get off more on the girl enjoyin what we are doing rather than what we are doing


on the plus side if she is into that chances are she will be up for trying almost anything thats pretty rare and if you take advantage of it and stick together you will have an amazingly god sex life