Neighbours fighting at 3am

dbnavan

My sister and my self had a discussion last night and we are both having the exact same problem Neighbours fighting(domestics) mostly at the weekend at 3 and 4 in the morning, she seems to have it worse, as the one next door to me screams back and sounds like she gives what she gets, sisters neighbour just gets knocked around and can here screams, very hard to know what to do, dont want to interfere, but my neighbours woke our 4 month old son last saturday night with the screams, dont know what I can say if anything at all. I never had much dealings with them she seems friendly but he is a bit of a plonker.

Beruthiel

If that was going on with my next door neighbour, I believe I'd get up there and then, go round, ring the door bell and ask what's up as I'd just been woken up by screams, are they in need of the cops.

6th

Just call the cops, if you interfer face on they will more than likely attack you verbally or even physically.

have you ever seen what happens when someone steps in to a fight between a couple in town at night?

~nop~

You are authorised to ring the police to report excessive noise after 10pm at night. However Beruthiel has it spot on I think, though if you don't want to get up at that time you could always call over in the morning and just ask can they keep it down a bit at night as you have a 4-month old son and also are things alright. I'd say once they realise that they can be heard they will be totally embarrassed as well as it making them at least keep it down

TheNog

If you hear people screaming and things being broken, dial 999 and ask for the guards. They will then have to come and check that everyone is ok. If one of them is being abused (domestically of course) they can make a complaint or at least think about making one.

Last week on the news an elderly couple heard screaming from next door but didn't want to interfere as they thought it was just an argument but someone had actually been murdered. Cannot remember where it happened.

DapperGent

I have intervened in an unpleasant domestic having genuine fears for the woman in question's safety and I really wouldn't recommend it at all if you can avoid it. Which in the cases above you can. Men liable to knock their lady around may be bullies and therefore usually cowards but they are also dangerous people and anyone can find courage in the bottom of a bottle. Either right then and there or maybe the next time they get in a violent you might be the new target. I dunno understand the psychology of the abused person but they are still with this person for a reason, I don't know how often this is from fear but I do know you should expect appreciation in approximately 0% of cases. Whatever is going to help this person change their life it's almost certainly not going to be you stopping the abuse this one time.

Yeah so anyway call the police and stay totally out of it apart from that.

Miss Fluff

Beruthiel wrote:

If that was going on with my next door neighbour, I believe I'd get up there and then, go round, ring the door bell and ask what's up as I'd just been woken up by screams, are they in need of the cops.

Wouldn't advise going round there tbh, God knows how heated an argument is, could find yourself with a black eye OP.

Depends where you are really, a lot of cops won't even come out to a domestic, best thing to do is phone the cops next time it happens and complain.

Marksie

6th wrote:

Just call the cops, if you interfer face on they will more than likely attack you verbally or even physically.

have you ever seen what happens when someone steps in to a fight between a couple in town at night?

I couldn't turn a blind eye to that.

In the uk i heard screaming for help from the flats opposite mine. i went down to see and the girls weed of a boyfriend was throwing funiture around, i shouted to my mates upstairs and went back down to the back door, where he was stood over her naked with a knife while she was naked on the floor. I hit the door and said i was calling the cops, which i did, but it did help that my two 6ft 6" second row mates turned up at the time.... It put the Sh*ts up the snivelling little coward.
The police said thanks, but she wan't pressing charges. But given that the week previous someone was raped in the same town and no-one responded to her screams, i would have not forgiven myself if she had been put in hospital or worse.

So there are two immediate options, 1) report it to the gards, 2) Report it to the gards and go around..with backup if possible.

You could wait til the next morning and say something with particular regard to how it affected you. What you do then is dependent upon his reaction.

Dappergent: what you say is true, but its not in me to let something like that go. As i said, if something really bad happened and i found out that i could have prevented it i would never forgive myself. I would use a judgment call though on how to handle it to ensure that the point was made

loismustdie

your sis should definitely report but so should you as they are disturbing the police, they can do what they like behind closed doors but should have respect for noise or that hour, i'm surprized you've done nothing at all. if you get on with them normally try saying it to them first

6th

See its all down to the person, I wouldnt put myself into the situation as at the end of the day I have a pregnant wife and child to go home too. People are talking here about black eyes etc but its all to easy for these situation to end in someone getting stuck with a knife in the heat of it.

You hear something happening, ring 999 - dont ignore it.

OP I suggest you pop down your local station and ask for advice, garda in general are good people and willbe honest with you.

Marksie

6th wrote:

OP I suggest you pop down your local station and ask for advice, garda in general are good people and willbe honest with you.

alerts them to something happening in any event

Ruu_Old

Please don't ignore it. I happened in an apartment complex I used to live in. A neighbour came in very late every night to his girlfriend or partners apartment and she obviously wanted none of it. He kept kicking the door down each night and plenty of noise. The second time it happened, I called the police and never heard about it since.

No one has to know it was you who reported if you are afraid about it but don't think someone else will report it because chances are they won't.

dodgyme

Well be careful. I wouldnt be inexperienced in domestics. Basically the hero who goes round is often lauded but have you ever heard of the situations where someone tries to stop a domestic and both parties involved turn on the person trying to stop it. One funnyish case was my old neighbours in town used to be fightin and she'd be screaming for him to stop hitting her and he used to scream back what the f88k was she was on about. Bit like Tracy in corrie!.Both used to get drunk and I often found her off her tits on the ground as I was goin in to my gaff. He prob gave her a belt or two and she used to throw furniture and stuff at him - they broke up eventually. Basically ring the gardai and insist someone goes over and visits them. I would be the type of person to go over to there gaff but I am usually wrong.

DapperGent

marksuttonie wrote:

Dappergent: what you say is true, but its not in me to let something like that go.

Nor me. I don't think it's the cleverest way of going about business at the same time though.

Bob the Builder

If your goin around, bring sum1, or else you might get it twice as bad... and ring gardaí as well... If there's an (un)drunken riot in the house, the cops will deal with it...

hunnymonster

I would ring the guards. Ring them a couple of days later too in order to make sure it was followed up. I would love to say I would go over there and try to sort it out myself but all 5 foot 3 of me would be damn scared.:o

I have little experience in working with people in abusive relaionships (I'm not a pro though). Some things I have learned.

Some couples just get off on fighting, the screaming, the wrecking the house, the make up afterwards. So long as their are no children involved, and they become considerate enough to let the neighbours get some peace & quiet then let them be. It's very difficult to know if this is happening though.

The second things is that it's not always the woman who is abused.

Black Swan

Don't confront a couple when engaged in a domestic fight! Have heard that more gardai get injured when attempting to intervene in such things than when attempting to arrest the bad guys. Talk to your landlord or call the gardai.

LegacyUser

'I have the same problem going on next door at minute aswell. Most weekends they will arrive home from the pub and start blaring the radio playing the same song over and over. Its so loud you wake up and think the music is in your own room. Anyway most of the time it ends up in a huge row, shouting,banging doors,and prob a few slaps.

We have rung the guards now on at least 5 occasions. Most of the time they will call out, stay about 30 sec and leave laughing(they obviuosly know the persons well). the music will die down for about 5 min and then start all over again.

On one occassion of ringing the police we were told that theres nothing they can do about level of music cause its in a private residence!!!!!! No with police like that is it any wonder this country is in the state its in will killings going on every day.'

dodgyme

I have had the same problem with the gardai saying its not there problem even though the street is blocked with cars and the noise unbareable. something has to be done on this. No other country would this crap be put up with. When the politician visit me there will be a lot of noise going in there direction on this issue.

DapperGent

dodgyme wrote:

No other country would this crap be put up with.

If you're this stupidly strident when you call the Gardai I'm not surprised they ignore you.

Nevyn

There is a big differnce imho between a loud party and music and a domstic row with slamming and screaming.

In the case of loud partying and loud music I usd to have that issue but I just got up early the next morning when they were all hunger over and played
some really loud music from symphany works to metal and they wised up.

In the case of a row and voilice and screams I will always ring the garda.

LegacyUser

'Well, that's an interesting one DB. Would you really want to confront the neighbour and then potentially have a bad relationship with them? Hard to know isn't it?

Have a casual chat some day and mention that you can hear absolutely everything they're saying all the time. Might get them to tone it down a bit.

If it's 3 or 4 in the morning though, it's probably due to drink. That could be a realy problem.'

limklad

Some seem to suggest that it the man who is doing all of the fighting. Through my long childhood, it is my mother who started and incited fights with my father and when he fought back she looked like the victim. Not everything is what it seems from the outside.
Both of my parents are not perfect and my mother used the victim role to gain sympathy from others into believing her side. Remember it is not just men who are bullies. Females bullies can be very devious and can create situation to make they look the innocent party. While drink will amplify this behavior trait, then men can become more physically aggressive. Add drink to the female bully who is also throwing verbal/emotional abuse too which is far worst, as I have experience the receiving end of all three types of abuse, with and without drink from my abusers.

Dbnavan - Basically it takes two to fight. Call the Guards and let them sort it.
If it just aggressive verbal fighting, then It is clear that your neighbors do not care about the noise they are causing at night to others. The intervention of the guards calling should make it clear to them that they are nuisance.
Record all incidents and the inconvience it caused, and when the time comes for court cases, incase you are call. You will have a record if anything happens, therefore you are covered.
If things get out of hand and you failed to call the guards, then how would you feel about your actions? If you were creating a noise (TV or something) late at night keeping them awake, then they would not think twice about calling the guards about you, so they can get some sleep.
It is your duty to protect your family and keep them in a safe and restful environment from others. That is why there is a 10pm noise limits law.
Call the county councilors/TD, if the guards say they cannot do anything. If you beep your horn outside their house on your private property, then I bet they prosecute you.

joebhoy1916

Ring the police my arse. Stay out of it, it is none of your business.

When people fight woman scream well my one does anyway's you would honestly think someone was killing her, doesn't mean anything.

You ring the cops what happens? As people pointed out someone would kick the ****e out of you for ringing the garda me personally I would kick the ****e out of you. I have seen people getting stabbed well not seen but it has happened girl was screaming at the guy, guy next door comes out because he thinks the guy is doing something to the girl, guy that comes out goes to hit other guy and the girl turns around and stabs him.

cork1

joebhoy1916 your comment might not apply in this case.so somebody got stabbed once but this crowd might get the message if you call the gards once and report them for disturbing the peace and if it dosent work just keep ringing everytime.if they do happen to come after you then you got them whether it be for assault verbally or physically or if you get away report them for intenting to hurt you.not sayin you should try this but i would as a last resort.so here go wait until everything goes nice and quiet and when there asleep turn up your stereo until the walls are shaking i gaurantee they will then be at your doorstep and all you have to tell them is "everynight they scream and raor youll wake them up".

spurious

As someone who eventually called the guards myself for an abusive person, you may well be doing them a favour if you ring the guards.

If there is violence involved and one of them ends up dead, which happens too frequently in Ireland, I would not be able to live with myself knowing I had done nothing.

Victor

If you have concerns for the safety of neighbours, phone the Garda, explaining those concerns.

~nop~ wrote:

You are authorised to ring the police to report excessive noise after 10pm at night.

noise wrote:

On one occassion of ringing the police we were told that theres nothing they can do about level of music cause its in a private residence!!!!!!

Nuisance from noise is essentially a civil matter. You can raise it with them, their landlord, the council or take them to court yourself.

On one occassion of ringing the police we were told that theres nothing they can do about level of music cause its in a private residence!!!!!! No with police like that is it any wonder this country is in the state its in will killings going on every day.'

Most killings are done by family and friends, not anonymous gun men.

Marksie

joebhoy1916 wrote:

When people fight woman scream well my one does anyway's you would honestly think someone was killing her, doesn't mean anything.

nonsense

joebhoy1916 wrote:

You ring the cops what happens? As people pointed out someone would kick the ****e out of you for ringing the garda me personally I would kick the ****e out of you.

Nice way to settle things, shows a certain level of maturity and mental attitude which causes situations like you described. If someone tried that whith me, i would make sure that they were taken to court for it.

Zambia

Hmm lots of interesting stuff.

I think it everyones responsiblity to operatye at the levels they are safe with. What I mean is if you can help someone you should , its fast becoming a world where people refuse to help others in case something happens to them.

If you hear screaming and shouting you have to gauge it at the time if you have 5 blokes handy in the house go over but not boozed up and half headed. 5 blokes beating on one may lead to a prison sentence. Run over and say you though they where being burgled as someone said.

Use your head at all times , consider what you can and cant do.

Example
If someone is being battered in the semi beside you bang on the door stand back and say there is a Gas leak in your house and say they have to get out. Silly I know but you are trying to stop a fatal beating here...

Everyone of these cases are a judgement call , talk to people talk to the Gardai.

As for the stay out if it route in some cases that is bests only act if you think real harm is imminent is my advice.

In the news recently during a Domestic a man jumped from the 13th floor of a mexican hotel dragging his girlfriend who escaped by hitting the 12th floor balcony. I also believe a bloke jumped of a hotel window in greece bringing his two kids with him one died one lived , hes banged up.

Now these men loved these people imagine what they would do to you in those cases. Know your limits, but dont do nothing if you know something bad is gonna happen.