Would you give back €400-500?

Kintarō Hattori

Walking through Temple Bar with my girlfriend on the way to the cinema about 20 minutes ago she noticed some money fall from a group of four people. We went over, had a look and she picked it up. It was several hundred Euro's mostly in €50 notes. She asked me should she give it back and I said she should. She said she wasn't going too and I said it was the right thing to do. She thought about it for a second or two and we went around the corner and she handed it back to them.

We walked on a bit and I gave her a kiss and said I was proud of her for doing the right thing. As we continued on our way to the cinema her mood changed drastically and she told me she was annoyed for handing it back and that she shouldn't have done it. The atmosphere changed completely and we hardly spoke to each other on the way to the cinema. When she got there she declared that she wasn't in the humour anymore for the cinema and that she wanted to go home.


So what would you have done? When it's a real person's money like that I believe in handing it back. We're not starving, we have a roof over our head and nice clothes. We're not well off, but we're not poor either. Besides you never know just how much the other person(s) need it.
I'm not one for refusing free money, it just depends on how I get it. When we came back from holidays last year we had some holiday money left over. She went in and changed it and was due to get back roughly €50. The teller in the bank made a mistake and took it back as the wrong currency. We ended up getting back somewhere between €400-600. On that occasion I had no problem in keeping it and not telling the bank. As I said, it just depends on the circumstances.

So what would you have done, and would you have thought I was a gob****e and got into a bad mood as she has obviously done?!

Silverfish

Holy crap.


Its not like she just found the money with no-one around, she saw someone drop their money - so she hands it back. Simple as.

How would she feel if it was her money?

Good grief.

Crucifix

If I saw them drop it I'd definitely give it back.

Ruu_Old

It wouldn't have been my money so I had no right to claim it. The same goes for the bank. I dunno, I just wouldn't feel right spending it, thats an awful lot of money to be finding. You could go by the rule finders versus keepers.

Haven't a Clue

Big time. Dunno how you could be upset at handing it back...

Mr. Presentable

eo980 wrote:

Walking through Temple Bar with my girlfriend on the way to the cinema about 20 minutes ago she noticed some money fall from a group of four people. We went over, had a look and she picked it up. It was several hundred Euro's mostly in €50 notes. She asked me should she give it back and I said she should. She said she wasn't going too and I said it was the right thing to do. She thought about it for a second or two and we went around the corner and she handed it back to them.

We walked on a bit and I gave her a kiss and said I was proud of her for doing the right thing. As we continued on our way to the cinema her mood changed drastically and she told me she was annoyed for handing it back and that she shouldn't have done it. The atmosphere changed completely and we hardly spoke to each other on the way to the cinema. When she got there she declared that she wasn't in the humour anymore for the cinema and that she wanted to go home.


So what would you have done? When it's a real person's money like that I believe in handing it back. We're not starving, we have a roof over our head and nice clothes. We're not well off, but we're not poor either. Besides you never know just how much the other person(s) need it.
I'm not one for refusing free money, it just depends on how I get it. When we came back from holidays last year we had some holiday money left over. She went in and changed it and was due to get back roughly €50. The teller in the bank made a mistake and took it back as the wrong currency. We ended up getting back somewhere between €400-600. On that occasion I had no problem in keeping it and not telling the bank. As I said, it just depends on the circumstances.

So what would you have done, and would you have thought I was a gob****e and got into a bad mood as she has obviously done?!

I'd say you're well met - both thieves. That's what it is no matter how you try to justify it. You think the bank teller wasn't at a loss for his/her mistake somehow too?

Pythia

I'd probably keep it if I found it on its own but not if I saw someone drop it.
I would be annoyed if the person wasn't very grateful about me giving it back though.

Dave!

Your girlfriend sounds... not nice

AdMMM

The bank would at the very least have insurance on that money. An individual would not.

Kintarō Hattori

nipplenuts wrote:

I'd say you're well met - both thieves. That's what it is no matter how you try to justify it. You think the bank teller wasn't at a loss for his/her mistake somehow too?

I didn't try to justify the incident with the bank, I merely gave my opinion on it. BUT, they are different incidents. A multi-million euro bank, and some ordinary people. I had no problem keeping the bank's money, normal folks however I would have an issue holding onto it.

cornbb

I'd agree with you, regarding both the Temple Bar incident and the bank incident. Walking away with a pile of cash you saw someone drop is plain wrong. Taking money from the bank like that is also somewhat wrong but a little more justifiable.

rsynnott

Yep, inexcusable. That might be to pay someone's rent or similar. I'm glad you managed to do the right thing between you.

copacetic

dump her.

Ghost Train

Keeping it would definitely be the wrong thing to do. For the bank, if it's more than a few quid extra and I thought it was too much I'd question it. I presume the teller would get into some trouble for a mistake like that. Do banks have insurance for mistakingly giving out money?

Call Me Jimmy

jesus I wouldn't even have to think about it. If I saw someone drop 500 euro I would give it straight back to them, no question about it. As for your girlfriend, jesus.

dory

You definitely did the right thing! How could she think about keeping someone elses money? Is she nice in other ways??

Kintarō Hattori

daveym wrote:

dump her.

That's not going to happen. She's a lovely girl and I do love her to bits, we've been with each other for 2 years. I don't want to generalise but she's Eastern European and well I guess they have a different view on things.
Regardless of the bank incident, the one I was looking for your opinion on is what happened tonight.

Catsmokinpot

If i saw them drop it definitely, if i just found it, i would wait for a while and see if anyone came back for it, and if they did i would give it back, if not? Finders keepers...

I remember i went into town a couple of years ago to get an ******** ticket, had £120 and £40 worth of bookshop vouchers in my wallet, i sat down to eat my subway sandwich and put it down on the bench beside me like an idiot because it was in my back pocket and hurt me when i sat on it....

I got up for a second to go over and speak to a friend who i saw in the square realised i had forgotten it and it was gone so no ******** ticket for me

i was fúcking gutted and i would never have someone else go through that like i did

is_that_so

Personally I would have given it back under any circumstances.
There is no gain from someone else's loss.
TBH the bank scenario can't really be justified if you are going to hand back personal cash. You came into the possesion of money that wasn't yours. Making something faceless doe not make it OK.

copacetic

eo980 wrote:

That's not going to happen. She's a lovely girl and I do love her to bits, we've been with each other for 2 years. I don't want to generalise but she's Eastern European and well I guess they have a different view on things.
Regardless of the bank incident, the one I was looking for your opinion on is what happened tonight.

but she basically wanted to steal their money. would she take someones bag if they left it at their table while they went to the jacks?

2 years is a long time, so you are right, work it out. but you had to make her give the money back and then she gets thick about it afterwards? in my opinion she isn't a keeper...

Haven't a Clue

Woah, woah, woah. Nobody should be telling this bloke that he should dump his girlfriend. None of us know her, and are basing our opinions of her over one incident (allbeit a bad one).

Ease of him, yeah?

rsynnott

eo980 wrote:

That's not going to happen. She's a lovely girl and I do love her to bits, we've been with each other for 2 years. I don't want to generalise but she's Eastern European and well I guess they have a different view on things.

You know, I'd hazard a guess that not everyone from Eastern Europe is an unethical thief. Just a hunch, here.

Raiser

To keep the banks money - now that was just Robin Hood territory - perfectly acceptable behaviour........Thieving cnuts.

.......Your girlfriend needs to realise that spending another persons cash on trinkets and baubles while the true owner is forced to borrow money from friends in order to scrape their rent is pretty fcukin' low.

.......To ruin her honest, decent partners night at the movies simply becuase they discouraged them from being a scabby, dishonest scumbag would be beyond my forgiveness levels.

- I suggest that you empty her bank account tomorrow and buy a truly stunning pair of gentlemans leather trousers - when she cries, wails and asks you pleadingly, desperately where you suppose the money may have gone - just shrug blankly and pat your pants.

But seriously - she owes you a grovelling apology mate........Well done on your honesty - you're a decent man and I believe such folk get luck back for these things.......

copacetic

Haven't a Clue wrote:

Woah, woah, woah. Nobody should be telling this bloke that he should dump his girlfriend. None of us know her, and are basing our opinions of her over one incident (allbeit a bad one).

Ease of him, yeah?

why not?

Haven't a Clue

daveym wrote:

why not?

Cause it's his own bloody business, not one of ours. He wanted our opinion on the incident, not the girlfriend...

Kintarō Hattori

rsynnott wrote:

You know, I'd hazard a guess that not everyone from Eastern Europe is an unethical thief. Just a hunch, here.

Ray I'm not saying that everyone from Eastern Europe is a thief, please don't take that from what I said.
She comes from a society that doesn't have things as easy as we do. A monthly wage from there is less than what we'd earn in a week here. To suddenly find a pile of money that wasn't yours perhaps it's harder to let go because it's harder for the majority of Eastern Europeans to come across in the first place? Harder To Get - Harder To Let Go? Do you know what I mean?

rsynnott

Haven't a Clue wrote:

Cause it's his own bloody business, not one of ours. He wanted our opinion on the incident, not the girlfriend...

People are entitled to their opinions, nonetheless.

copacetic

Haven't a Clue wrote:

Cause it's his own bloody business, not one of ours. He wanted our opinion on the incident, not the girlfriend...

i'm afraid it is all our business now. Welcome to the internet my friend.


(tbh I seriously thought about starting a poll about whether he should dump her or not)

Kintarō Hattori

Haven't a Clue wrote:

Woah, woah, woah. Nobody should be telling this bloke that he should dump his girlfriend. None of us know her, and are basing our opinions of her over one incident (allbeit a bad one).

Ease of him, yeah?

Thanks Man. She is a lovely lovely lady and I can see many great qualities about her. She's a popular well liked person, and I could see marraige being a possibility.
This is one isolated incident and hardly grounds for people to make a call on our relationship. I'm not so sore that she had to think twice about it, just that she got into such a strop over it.

connundrum

Pythia wrote:

I'd probably keep it if I found it on its own but not if I saw someone drop it.
I would be annoyed if the person wasn't very grateful about me giving it back though.

++

It wasn't her money to begin with, so how could she get upset when she gave it back?

Don't ever let her into a casino if this is what she's like now. Start with a tenner, win 200, then lose your way back down to a tenner. You feel like you've lost 200 but in fact you've lost nowt. But so many people get angry about the 'potential' money they'd lost :rolleyes:

Zillah

How wealthy did the people who dropped it look?

Wertz

Anyone that manages not to secure a relatively large amoutn of cash which they are carrying on their person is somewhat deserving of loosing it IMO....if it's a lot of money to you then, you'd make sure it was secure, not in a pocket/place that it could easily dislodge from...
I know if I'm walking about with anything above a hundred or two I make damn sure it's someplace where it's not going to fall on the ground.

Would I give it back in the above scenario? There was a time when I wouldn't have....I'd have said tough sh*t, be more careful with your money next time, but it would have been a time when I was a lot less well off than what I am now. Now I'd give it back without question.

Cake Fiend

eo980 wrote:

This is one isolated incident and hardly grounds for people to make a call on our relationship.

I hope you don't start noticing money disappearing from your wallet.

Wertz

lol people on here suggesting the OP should dump his g/f? WHat a bunch of self righteous **** tbh.
Quit interfering and go live your own sorry little lives...

Sangre

Personally I'd seriously think about ending that relationship. She appears to lack empathy. I would have been disgusted by her reaction.

lol people on here suggesting the OP should dump his g/f? WHat a bunch of self righteous **** tbh.
Quit interfering and go live your own sorry little lives...

Yeah, how dare we post on a public forum! How dare we respond honestly to the OP's scenario. The nerve!

Haven't a Clue

Wertz wrote:

lol people on here suggesting the OP should dump his g/f? WHat a bunch of self righteous **** tbh.
Quit interfering and go live your own sorry little lives...

Hear, hear...

copacetic

Wertz wrote:

lol people on here suggesting the OP should dump his g/f? WHat a bunch of self righteous **** tbh.
Quit interfering and go live your own sorry little lives...

you know what, you are right. oh, the error of my ways, apparent
now like the sun from the east..

Wertz

Saying it in terms of "dump her" etc are not opinions....an opinion would be "Well if it was me, I'd dump her"

copacetic

Wertz wrote:

Saying it in terms of "dump her" etc are not opinions....an opinion would be "Well if it was me, I'd dump her"

i think you are a bit mixed up here, 'dump her' is an opinion. it is my one. that
is very clear (and succinct if I do say so myself) from the post: 'dump her'

if I had of said "Well if it was me, I'd dump her" that wouldn't be an opinion
that would be an example.

cast_iron

OP: Glad you were decent enough to hand it back. Many wouldn't. And while your gf may have many good qualities, and I accept that her background may be a factor in considering not giving it back, her blatant disregard for the person who lost the money is not an isolated incident.

Personally, I also find it a bit odd that you were proud of her for giving it back. That implies that you were perhaps a touch surprised she did it.
Out of curiosity, what do you think she would have done if you weren't there?

zuutroy

As you descibe it, it's one step away from stealing to be honest. I think I'd be pretty disgusted if anyone I respected thought of keeping the money. Background of poverty or not, it speaks volumes about a person.
Wouldn't be AS worried about the bank, but would find it a tougher call purely as the teller may suffer. **** the bank itself!

Zillah

daveym wrote:

i think you are a bit mixed up here, 'dump her' is an opinion. it is my one. that
is very clear (and succinct if I do say so myself) from the post: 'dump her'

Nah, "dump her" is clearly a command.

InFront

I agree with the "ease off" comment. He did a nice thing, his girlfriend did a nice thing. She could have disagreed, but she saw sense.

OP she's probably just a bid cross thinking about what she could have done with the money. Who doesn't need 500 euro? That's only human, the important thing is that she did actually give it back.

There are not enough people like that, you sound like a perfectly nice, normal couple.

ronbyrne2005

The fact the OP has posted about it here indicates he either somewhat regrets handing it back or is unhappy with his GF's behaviour so questioning of his continued relationship may be a consideration.

cast_iron

InFront wrote:

I agree with the "ease off" comment. He did a nice thing, his girlfriend did a nice thing. She could have disagreed, but she saw sense.

OP she's probably just a bid cross thinking about what she could have done with the money. Who doesn't need 500 euro? That's only human, the important thing is that she did actually give it back.

There are not enough people like that, you sound like a perfectly nice, normal couple.

Either you haven't actually read what the OP has said occurred or you are completely deluded.

InFront

Why, which part was incorrect? Nothing that I can see, will gladly take it back otherwise.

cast_iron

InFront wrote:

Why, which part was incorrect? Nothing that I can see, will gladly take it back otherwise.

Maybe it's just me and most of the rest that posted here, but how you can descibe a girl that:

1. Had to ask her bf if she should not take money that doesn't belong to her;
2. Gets pissed off for the night and shuns hers bf because he suggested she should do the right thing;
3. Actually tells her bf she regretted not taking the money;
4. Didn't give a toss about the effects of not handing it back on the poor unfortunate that dropped the money.
5. Most likely only gave the money back due to her bf (who does indeed appear very nice).

as perfectly nice/normal?

roo_photo

In relation to The OP's original question,here are 3 episodes of interest all of which happened in the same year;

Episode 1: waiting for my turn at a cash machine, I noticed that the person ahead of me was getting quite flustered. He was an old fella of about 65 - 70, he was pressing buttons and kept having to the reinsert his card. Eventually he walked away looking very confused indeed. My turn, but feeling a bit suspicious of the ATM, I gave it a quick once over before inserting my card. Lo and behold there was a large wad of 20's in the cash tray A count revealed it was €400! I chased after the old geezer and asked what had happened at the machine. He said he had been trying to take out money with his new card, but could not figure it out. In the end he panicked and gave up. I asked how much he had tried to take - he said 400, so with a big grin I handed it back to him, and told him to be more careful in future. The poor fella was nearly in tears!

Episode 2: (Which unbelievably happened at the same ATM). An old lady came up to me in the queue, said that I looked the trustworthy type, would I help her use the machine. "Of course!" says I. Whereupon she hands me her card, tells me her PIN and asks me to withdraw €100. I do it, hand her the money and receipt and tell her for gods sake don't try this in the future!?:( As next time she might not be so lucky in her choice of character.

Episode 3: Walking out of the local bank I noticed a grubby envelope on the ground. It was raining, and it had been stood on a good few times. Something made me stop and pick it up. And yes, it contained money, €600 and a hand written noted with a doctors name an appointment time and what appeared to be a bank ac number. I went back into the bank and explained this to one of the tellers. He checked the account number, it matched one of the customers - so he rang the number that he had on file. When he got through to the account holder, he asked had they lost anything. Indeed she had - the savings she was using to pay for her sisters treatment! Amounts and note correlated - so another user was reunited with their dosh!:)

So that was over a grand that passed through my grubby little paws that year - oddly enough with the situations I did not want a reward. But hey, it did feel nice to be honest!:cool:

copacetic

roo_photo wrote:

In relation to The OP's original question,here are 3 episodes of interest all of which happened in the same year;

Episode 1: waiting for my turn at a cash machine, I noticed that the person ahead of me was getting quite flustered. He was an old fella of about 65 - 70, he was pressing buttons and kept having to the reinsert his card. Eventually he walked away looking very confused indeed. My turn, but feeling a bit suspicious of the ATM, I gave it a quick once over before inserting my card. Lo and behold there was a large wad of 20's in the cash tray A count revealed it was €400! I chased after the old geezer and asked what had happened at the machine. He said he had been trying to take out money with his new card, but could not figure it out. In the end he panicked and gave up. I asked how much he had tried to take - he said 400, so with a big grin I handed it back to him, and told him to be more careful in future. The poor fella was nearly in tears!

Episode 2: (Which unbelievably happened at the same ATM). An old lady came up to me in the queue, said that I looked the trustworthy type, would I help her use the machine. "Of course!" says I. Whereupon she hands me her card, tells me her PIN and asks me to withdraw €100. I do it, hand her the money and receipt and tell her for gods sake don't try this in the future!?:( As next time she might not be so lucky in her choice of character.

Episode 3: Walking out of the local bank I noticed a grubby envelope on the ground. It was raining, and it had been stood on a good few times. Something made me stop and pick it up. And yes, it contained money, €600 and a hand written noted with a doctors name an appointment time and what appeared to be a bank ac number. I went back into the bank and explained this to one of the tellers. He checked the account number, it matched one of the customers - so he rang the number that he had on file. When he got through to the account holder, he asked had they lost anything. Indeed she had - the savings she was using to pay for her sisters treatment! Amounts and note correlated - so another user was reunited with their dosh!:)

So that was over a grand that passed through my grubby little paws that year - oddly enough with the situations I did not want a reward. But hey, it did feel nice to be honest!:cool:

clearly based on this stellar display of honesty (and modesty) the OP should indeed dump his GF and shack up with you..

InFront

Sounds like someone owes you! That old lady was lucky it wasn't some opportunist ahead of her in the queue though.

Cast_iron, I'm not going to try judge the OPs girlfriend. She agreed with him and gave back the money, and he assures us she's a really lovely girl, he's not considering breaking up with her. I don't see how it's for us to insist otherwise or that such a position is "deluded". Is the OP deluded too?

Capt'n Midnight

roo_photo wrote:

Episode 2: Whereupon she hands me her card, tells me her PIN and asks me to withdraw €100. I do it, hand her the money and receipt and tell her for gods sake don't try this in the future!?:

And now when the guards start chasing down that stolen card, it's your fingerprints on the keys

The money wouldn't legally have been hers unless she handed it in to the Guards and waited a year and a day for the owner to collect it. And that's if there was no way to discern who the owner was.

She sounds quite selfish to me. Or is it a lack of empathy ?