Did you ever break up with someone as you liked them too much+ it was scary?

LegacyUser

Did you ever consider breaking up with someone, because you were about to fall completely in love with the person, to avoid getting hurt?.+ did you ever go through with it?

I really really like my boyfriend. He's so great. Definitely the greatest person I ever dated.

I just realised yesterday how much I like my boyfriend... + I know this probably sounds stupid, but I think I'm getting to like him too much+ it's sort of scary.

Trinity

Yes and you will regret it.

You obviously have some sort of insecurity/fear of getting hurt. You have to work through this or you will end up with a complete wanker that walks all over you.

A life lived in fear is a life half lived. Find out what you are scared of and fix it.

biko

No of course not!
If you're in love it's the best feeling ever and there's no way I'd hurt myself or herself by finishing the relationship cause it feels too good.

Stay in the relationship. Don't worry, the heart swelling "crazy in love" will subside as time goes by.

Ruu_Old

If things are going a bit quick for you then agree to just slow it down. Enjoy being in love and let your worries disappear.

Black Swan

Chill out and go with the flow. Don't walk away from love.

loismustdie

you will never be happy if you keep that mindset. so long as he really likes you (find out) you'v nothing to worry about

Elessar

loismustdie wrote:

you will never be happy if you keep that mindset. so long as he really likes you (find out) you'v nothing to worry about

And why would she never be happy with that mindset? Everybody needs relationships to be happy, is that what you are saying?

Trinity

Elessar wrote:

And why would she never be happy with that mindset? Everybody needs relationships to be happy, is that what you are saying?

No i think its more a case of having regrets in the future. She is already happy and she is contemplating walking away from that purely because she is scared. She may continue that pattern in future relationships if she doesnt learn to go with the flow and not be scared.

Its ok to choose to be alone/single absolutely. But to avoid love/relationships cos you are 'too happy' is sure to bring regrets later on imho.

loismustdie

Elessar wrote:

And why would she never be happy with that mindset? Everybody needs relationships to be happy, is that what you are saying?

not ever body, but the op obviously feels she does if she's starting the thread and if she's afraid of getting hurt by someone she really likes, she'll just end up missing the guy she likes if she breaks up with him

LegacyUser

That's exactly how I feel...tried brushing it all under the mat by drinking way too much last night. It's the most terrifying feeling in the world.

Rb

No, I haven't, nor will I ever.

Hagar

Are the feelings reciprocal?
If yes, you are one lucky girl?
If no, you are right to be cautious.

Catari Jaguar

"Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all..."

I was in your position and it's scary as hell and your head is all confused and you were in control and now you aren't and this other person has some power over you and arghhh!

Let it go... Just see how it pans out and it won't be scary if you stop focusing on the negativity and focus on all the amazing experiences and feelings this guy can give you instead! Sure, you COULD get hurt, you MIGHT break up somewhere down the line, but comme ci comme ca... It might never happen. Love is a wonderful thing, don't run away from it ok?

little_green_fa

god, what are the odds- i decided to browse boards because im in that exact position at the moment (i'm on the receiving end though)

we had been together for a year and a half and broke up on valentine's night. his reasons being that a) he's not ready for a 'long term relationship b) he's not finished being single yet and c) there's things he wants to do and thinks he can't do so with a girlfriend. And to top all of that off he also continuously tells me how he's never loved anyone like he loves me, isnt ready for a relationship like this etc and how he still wants to be with me (on those terms, no way)

Naturally enough i'm absolutely heartbroken. i felt so secure and loved and in such an amazing relationship and i guess i thought if you fell in love with someone they would feel EXACTLY the same way as you.

i guess what i feel most hurt about is that he is just accepting his fear of commitment and letting it control him- acting like the victim and not taking any action to overcome these feelings (i understand that he may not want to overcome the fear).

so my advice to the OP is to take control of the fear and never EVER throw away something amazing because you're scared- it's the most appaling feeling in the whole world.

(sorry for the rant, open wound etc)