Ireland v. England

Cmar-Ireland

*RTE News* * **15th February 2007 18.02PM*

*British & Irish Governments Plan Ceremony in Croke Park*
Northern Ireland Minister Peter Hain has announced details of a joint
ceremony before Irelands crunch game against England in Croke Park on the
24th February.

The significance of the game is not lost on GAA followers and republicans
who remember the infamous shooting of 14 players and supporters by the
British Army on the 21st November 1921.

However according to GAA spokesman Ulick Magee a plan being devised by the
GAA and the Northern Ireland office, will attempt to draw a line under the
incident.

"We've spoken to the British government and they understand the significance
of the event back in 1921. Back then 14 people were killed by British forces
so in the spirit of the peace process and friendship we're proposing that we
shoot 14 of their lot before the match. Then maybe have fireworks afterwards
or something." Said Mr Magee.

*Government Reaction*
The plan has had a mixed reaction from Downing Street. Prime Minister Tony
Blair thinks the idea has merit but said that it needs to be done properly
and with dignity.

"Frankly I think its a small price to pay for progression in Anglo-Irish
affairs, but I think the idea of getting Ray Houghton to do the shooting
would be too much for many English fans to take particularly after his goal
against us back in 1988. And he's Scottish which is worse."

*Proposed Victims*
According to informed sources, the GAA and Number 10 have already drawn up a
list of names for those to be shot. The list, which is not yet agreed, is
thought to be a compromise of people that both the Irish and English public
dislike. Among the names are moaney-hole singer James Blunt, foul mouth
idiot Jade Goody, Trinny & Suzannah, Man Utd donkey Rio Ferdinand, cream
cake expert Vanessa Feltz, "comedian" Russell Brand and any of the blokes
who do outside broadcasts for Sky News.

But discussions took an ironic twist when both sides agreed on shooting
Belfast singer Brian Kennedy, but neither side agreed on what nationality he
was. GAA representatives claim he's British with their Foreign Office
counterparts claiming he's Irish. The Irish claimed no Irishman should sing
or dance in such a manner and the English saying he couldn't be a Brit
because he had no tattoos on his forearm and didn't wear Ben Sherman shirts.
However there was eventual consensus that he should be shot regardless of
his nationality.

*Plans agreed*
The shooting will be carried out by members of the 2nd Infantry Battalion
from Cathal Brugha Barracks in Dublin. The original idea to get the FCA to
carry out the executions were dropped when they revealed that their rifles
are in fact made of baked-plastercine. Similarly the Garda Emergency
Response Unit was discounted for fear they'd shoot more innocent civilians
then claim overtime for it.

Unpossible

lol

TheNog

brilliant!!!!!!!!!!

Rabies

Locked.
Joke is still on the first page.