water

galwayrush

A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the
Afghanistan desert when he saw something far off in the distance.
Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the object, only to find a little
old Jewish man at a small stand selling ties.

The Taliban asked, "Do you have water?" The Jewish man replied, "I have no
water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5."
The Taliban shouted, "Idiot! I do not need an overpriced tie. I need water!
I should kill you, but I must find water first."

"OK," said the old Jewish man, "it does not matter that you do not want to
buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than
that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you
will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the ice cold water you need. Shalom."

Muttering, the Taliban staggered away over the hill. Several hours later he staggered back.
"Your f**king brother won't let me in without a tie."

Mr Magnolia

I lol'd

Hail 2 Da Chimp

Good one

Oliverdog

A great joke.:D

Not so great, but still all right I think, is this one…


A visiting supporter is surprised to be stopped at the turnstile at Millwall Football Club and told that he can't be admitted to the match.

"Why not?" he asked angrily.
"You're not wearing a tie" said the attendant. "We're trying to appeal to a better class of supporter."

The fan, who had driven 200 miles to watch this game, was really annoyed, and he returned to his car and started rummaging through the boot to see if he had a tie. Nothing.

In desperation, he dragged a set of greasy old jump leads from under the spare wheel, draped them round his neck, and tucked them inside his jacket.

Back at the turnstile, the same attendant is standing on duty.

"What about this ?" said the fan.

The attendant glared at him. "Well… I'll let you in this time. As long as you promise not to start anything."

Kojak

Not bad