[PR] Public transport improvements to be unveiled

Victor

http://www.ireland.com/newspaper/breaking/2007/0222/breaking2.htm

Public transport improvements to be unveiled

Transport Minister Martin Cullen is to announce improvements to bus and train services in Galway later today.

The Minister will reveal details of the planned modifications to Bus Éireann and Iarnród Éireann services in the area in line with Transport 21.

CIE's proposals for the redevelopment of the Ceannt station site in Galway will also be announced at the event in Hotel Meyrick on Eyre Square.

Transport 21 in the Government's multi-billion-euro investment package to develop the transport system across Ireland by 2015.

DerekP11

And this victor.....

Bus Eireann investment rockets

Minister for Transport, Martin Cullen will today attend the launch of a new sugar bowl at the historical Broadstone depot.

The sugar bowl is the result of many years planning and Bus Eireann staff in Broadstone are said to be delighted with its arrival. The bowl was purchased in Dunnes Stores and transported to the depot in a hi-tech operation that involved a garda escort across the city.

In a statement issued by the Dept. of Transport, Minister Cullen welcomed the arrival of the sugar bowl. "The Government are very excited by this sugar bowl and we look forward to it giving Bus Eireann many years of service. This investment is just another part of the Governments Transport 21 plan, which will see 34 billion spent on transport projects, such as Metro, surburban rail, the interconnector, a railway for Navan and the WRC", the minister said. "

Metrobest

[

QUOTE=DerekP11]Bus Eireann investment rockets

Minister for Transport, Martin Cullen will today attend the launch of a new sugar bowl at the historical Broadstone depot.

The sugar bowl is the result of many years planning and Bus Eireann staff in Broadstone are said to be delighted with its arrival. The bowl was purchased in Dunnes Stores and transported to the depot in a hi-tech operation that involved a garda escort across the city.

In a statement issued by the Dept. of Transport, Minister Cullen welcomed the arrival of the sugar bowl. "The Government are very excited by this sugar bowl and we look forward to it giving Bus Eireann many years of service. This investment is just another part of the Governments Transport 21 plan, which will see 34 billion spent on transport projects, such as Metro, surburban rail, the interconnector, a railway for Navan and the WRC", the minister said. " QUOTE]

Now who's the comedian?

Victor

Is there actually a budget for sugar and will a water boiler be provided or will everyone have to bring their own kettle, thereby blowing the main fuse at 11:01am everyday?

DerekP11

Eh...I'll check that one out for you victor.

corktina

there is no planning permission for the sugar, so the bowl is to be stored pending this. It is expected to be available before the election though....

Metrobest

Well, if it keeps the voters sweet...

The Swordsman

If this new sugar bowl is allowed, it will open the floodgates.

Mark my words, next year they will have a new teapot and a milk jug.

All of this will lead to extra traffic and gridlock. This is just the excuse the government need to build a twelve lane motorway connecting all the Dublin Bus depots with public transport depots in Cork, Galway and Letterkenny.

Urban sprawl will spiral out of control, with Swords stretching as far as Ballybofey and Blanchardstown stretching to Oranmore. IKEA will open a superstore in South Dublin, with entrances in Tallaght, Tullamore and Fermoy.

A public meeting has been organised at the GPO for next Saturday at 3PM. Public speakers will include Michael D and his brother Joe Higgins.

popebenny16

Irish Rail is in Dispute with the manufacturers of a newly installed Sugar Bowl, it has been revealed.

The Sugar Bowl, which arrived in 2005, initially underwent an extensive preservice shakedown programme including the filling and emptying of the bowl 30,000 times. However, it was only a year later, after a full press launch which saw many journalists and ministers present when the bowl was first used at a table in the canteen, that problems began to be noticed.

These problems include difficulties with the base of the bowl, which isn't level, difficulties in the bowl's retention system and the fact that the bowl can only be used on certain tables in the canteen.

Several technicians from the Bowl's Spanish manufacturers have been spotted in the canteen and have been receiving feedback from the users of the bowl.

Rumours that the next bowl, due to arrive from the far east this week, may be used to replace the current bowl during an extensive overhaul, have been discounted by official sources.

It has been suggested in some quarters that the table the bowl is on may be unstable, as there may be a folded coaster missing from under a leg.

shltter

In fairness the company are in clear breach of hard won agreements in relation to the procurement of new sugar bowls.
The company went ahead and purchased this sugar bowl without any agreement from the staff on the movement to a new kind of sugar bowl.
There are clear safety implications involved in the use of this sugar bowl and as such the union has instructed all members to have no truck with the sugar bowl until all staff are fully trained and compensated for the use of this new technology.

DerekP11

From whackoneoff News

Irish sugar bowl scandal.

Irish internet bulletin board, BOARDS.IE, has been inundated with commentary on the fiasco that has ensued after state transport company, Bus Eireann, purchased new sugar bowls. Stories dating back to 2005 have surfaced and it appears that there could be trouble ahead for the company. Whackoneoff news has received information that confirms the Sugar bowls are defective, immersed in planning problems and the cause of a forthcoming industrial dispute. In a statement issued by the Dept. of Transport, the minister, Martin Cullen, urged all sides to sit down and talk. "Im aware of the problems, but we really need to bring the actual sugar to the bowl. It takes two to make a complete unit. I will facilitate the channels to ensure we reach a resolution and a nice cup of tea", the Minister said. When questioned about the uproar on BOARDS.IE, the Minister was less than impressed."Ive been assured by officials in my department that all opinion expressed on the internet is purely attention seeking and nothing more. This Government is determined to press ahead with Transport 21, which will see 34 billion spent on public transport projects such as Metro, the intercobongle and a railway to Naas!".

Metrobest

Fine Gael Transport spokeswoman Olivia Mitchell weighed into the "sugargate" row last night, spooning heaps of criticism onto the government.

"They should never have bought the sugar bowl without a proper cost benefit analysis," she thundered.

"Everyone knows what we really need in this country is salt."

Fine Gael has promised a free bag of salt to every man, woman and child in this country if it wins the next election.

"To get strong government we need good quality salt," a source said.

dowlingm

Dublin:AP - The IFA has waded into the sugar bowl row, claiming that the use of imported sugar by Bus Eireann was a quid pro quo for their refusal to carry sugar beet in the luggage section of their buses. Informed that there were no factories to bring the sugar beet to, they replied: "sure ministers are carried to and fro for no reason - why should beet farmers be discriminated agin'?"

The IFA spokesman was accompanied by weeping individuals with notebooks and camera muttering about "double heading"...

DerekP11

I don't think I can "beet" the last two posts. Their so "sweet" its unreal.

popebenny16

A spokesman for S11, the Sugar Representation Body has condemned the careless and arbitrary fashion in which everyone, from the minister for Transport to the head of the Canteen Staff in Broadstone, has dealt with this situation.

Mr Eric Dealer Propaganda Fuhrer with this highly secretive organisation said that the effects of the new bowl on sugar had not been fully understood and that due to the fundamental lack of funding for the table, the sugar was notably lopsided in the bowl. This led to unsafe sugar levels on spoons and, as a direct consequence, tea and coffee becoming too sweet.

Mr Dealer went on to say that his technical apparatchik, Mr Gleeful, has conducted tests on the settlement of the sugar and was of the opinion that the sugar found the bowel fundamentally uncomfortable. Speaking on "the Last Word" Mr Dealer called on everyone concerned to resign and for him to be appointed Secretary General of The Department of Transport and Agriculture. He then was observed to rub his hands frantically and cackle.

dowlingm

Dublin:Reuters - the Green Party's Propecia McKenna waded into Sugargate last night, rejecting both the sugar proposal and Fine Gael's salt proposal, given the environmental impact of both intensive farming and salt mining. "Sand is a proven substitute for both salt and sugar in the same way the Green Party has pioneered substituting straw for use in clothing and pureed grass as a substitute for beer", she said. Conceding that some complaints about friction in the nether regions had been reported, Ms McKenna countered that the scouring was better than any colonic irrigation and "tiz all to save the planet so the discomfort was of no importance".

:eek: