I work with Eeyore... help!

LegacyUser

There's a fellow at my work who is like Eeyore. He complains about things, primarily the company we work for. He says that management is cheap, nothing will change, how badly run everything is and unfair everything is. My heart sinks when I realize I'm working with him that day (he's not in my regular group of co-workers)

Now I've been depressed when I was younger, and some days it's harder for me to get out of bed and get my head straight to face the day, and this person's negativity doesn't help.

He has a negative buddy, and I have spoken with him, and he seems "oh sorry, I'll try to stop" making the comments. However the first guy, I don't think that he gives a crap whether he is bothering people or not, I don't think I'll have an effect on him if I say anything. I'm suspicious that when I take him on and insist that it's not an unfair workplace, that it's amusing to him in a way - you know, any attention is better than no attention etc.

I'm trying to block out what he's saying, but so far I haven't been able to help myself, and I make comments back "I like working here" "I worked hard to get this job" etc. but I don't think I'm going to have an effect. This morning I listened to my MP3 player while the morning banter went on. I felt good that I had missed some of the talk, but as the day wore on I got sucked up into it.

Today he asked about a course I'm taking, I said to upgrade my skills, so they don't stay the same because of working the same job for several years. He said "then why are you still here?" I replied "why are YOU still here?" He said "I have a mortgage" so unfortunately my fantasy of arriving at work to discover that he has quit, is probably not going to happen any time soon.

I'm at a loss as to what I can do about this... any insight into how he's operating? I think I need to practice keeping my thoughts to myself, or somehow get super-motivated so that he doesn't bother me... I don't know.

Carrigart Exile

ilovemyjob wrote:

There's a fellow at my work who is like Eeyore. He complains about things, primarily the company we work for. He says that management is cheap, nothing will change, how badly run everything is and unfair everything is. My heart sinks when I realize I'm working with him that day (he's not in my regular group of co-workers)

Now I've been depressed when I was younger, and some days it's harder for me to get out of bed and get my head straight to face the day, and this person's negativity doesn't help.

He has a negative buddy, and I have spoken with him, and he seems "oh sorry, I'll try to stop" making the comments. However the first guy, I don't think that he gives a crap whether he is bothering people or not, I don't think I'll have an effect on him if I say anything. I'm suspicious that when I take him on and insist that it's not an unfair workplace, that it's amusing to him in a way - you know, any attention is better than no attention etc.

I'm trying to block out what he's saying, but so far I haven't been able to help myself, and I make comments back "I like working here" "I worked hard to get this job" etc. but I don't think I'm going to have an effect. This morning I listened to my MP3 player while the morning banter went on. I felt good that I had missed some of the talk, but as the day wore on I got sucked up into it.

Today he asked about a course I'm taking, I said to upgrade my skills, so they don't stay the same because of working the same job for several years. He said "then why are you still here?" I replied "why are YOU still here?" He said "I have a mortgage" so unfortunately my fantasy of arriving at work to discover that he has quit, is probably not going to happen any time soon.

I'm at a loss as to what I can do about this... any insight into how he's operating? I think I need to practice keeping my thoughts to myself, or somehow get super-motivated so that he doesn't bother me... I don't know.

Ignore him. Alternatively when he starts make a joke about it being his turn to say something nice.

summerwine

I'll sort him out for you. Your first knee capping is free of charge:D

Seriously though, i think people like that don't do much good for moral and that you should def say something. Have a little more confidence in yourself to say something to him.

Bring up the topic and then say something along the lines; well you can do two things, fight and bitch about your job or go with the flow, accept your work for what it is and let it work for you!

All I know is when I was in a job I hated, I too would be very negative and it was a sign that I was unhappy within myself. So also go easy on the guy!

Good luck!

The Sweeper

I think you might have to be confrontational towards him. Not aggressive, but call him out. Tell him he whinges non stop and you find it both irritating and negative. Tell him the worst thing about being in your workplace, for you, is listening to his constant, excessive whinging about how bad his life is.

I used to work with someone like that. She sat across from me. She earned nearly twice what I earned for doing a similar job. She whinged all the damn day, sun up to sun down. I couldn't be confrontational towards her because she was too pathetic so instead, I watched her do things like bawl when she asked for a 10K pay raise and only got a 5K pay raise. (Seriously.)

Eventually - not to depress you further - eventually I left.

Huggles

Wow, I think you work in my old company. Sounds very much like the same guy. Did my head in with excessive moaning and whining and like that he had no ontention of leaving as his feet were firmly under the table.

I ended up leaving my job because of him, probably not the smartest thing to do and tbh I d regret it. having said that my current position is cool and I have a lot of fun.

Have you thought about brinigng it up with management or you boss? I did this before I left and they were very thankful. They were able to address the situation and make things better for my former colleagues.

On the other hand, you do seem to have a desire to improve your skills and progress in your career so maybe a new job isn't such a bad idea? You could be happy in the knowledge that you have moved on, progressed and he is still sitting in his chair bitter and twisted and hate filled.

I know exactly what your going through, please feel free to PM If you'd like.

ilovemyjob wrote:

There's a fellow at my work who is like Eeyore. He complains about things, primarily the company we work for. He says that management is cheap, nothing will change, how badly run everything is and unfair everything is. My heart sinks when I realize I'm working with him that day (he's not in my regular group of co-workers)

Now I've been depressed when I was younger, and some days it's harder for me to get out of bed and get my head straight to face the day, and this person's negativity doesn't help.

He has a negative buddy, and I have spoken with him, and he seems "oh sorry, I'll try to stop" making the comments. However the first guy, I don't think that he gives a crap whether he is bothering people or not, I don't think I'll have an effect on him if I say anything. I'm suspicious that when I take him on and insist that it's not an unfair workplace, that it's amusing to him in a way - you know, any attention is better than no attention etc.

I'm trying to block out what he's saying, but so far I haven't been able to help myself, and I make comments back "I like working here" "I worked hard to get this job" etc. but I don't think I'm going to have an effect. This morning I listened to my MP3 player while the morning banter went on. I felt good that I had missed some of the talk, but as the day wore on I got sucked up into it.

Today he asked about a course I'm taking, I said to upgrade my skills, so they don't stay the same because of working the same job for several years. He said "then why are you still here?" I replied "why are YOU still here?" He said "I have a mortgage" so unfortunately my fantasy of arriving at work to discover that he has quit, is probably not going to happen any time soon.

I'm at a loss as to what I can do about this... any insight into how he's operating? I think I need to practice keeping my thoughts to myself, or somehow get super-motivated so that he doesn't bother me... I don't know.

Black Swan

How about looking him dead in the eye and saying, "I don't want to hear it!", then completely ignore him until he stops complaining? You might have to say it once each day until he finally gets the message. It would seem that if you continue to attend to his constant complaining, rather than ignoring it, he is being reinforced in his dysfunctional behaviour? Of course, if he ever says anything positive about something, then give him all your attention.

Talliesin

Just say "oh just, shut the **** up".

It's not the most polite thing to say, but you've already tried that one.

He is either the sort of person who always complains no matter what, in which case "shut the **** up" is the perfect response, or he needs to realise that the job isn't suiting him and he should look for a new position, in which case "shut the **** up" is the perfect response.

Sangre

Firstly I must point I don't see how this would bother you. Who cares if he moans about a job you like, you still like it. I can see it being annoying but not actually upsetting. Is he causing you to doubt your job?

Anyway, just tell him to shut up and stop moaning. Preferably in front a group of people who can have a giggle at him as well. I'd probably go for 'would you ever stop fúcking whinging ya moany git!' Of course I would have called him on it ages ago but in a joke way. For example he starts moaning and you put on a big sarcastic shocked reaction that something bothers him, 'oh my god, mr. sunshine actually doesn't like something, well it must be really bad then!'....or something.

Gordon

This really belongs in the Work forum. Shall I move it there OP or do you want it here as you can post unreggie here?

Marksie

Thing is ..why is it getting to you?
obviously this guy is getting under your skin with his constant bitching and moaning.
So, you can ask him directly to stop talking to you about such things. What you cannot do is stop him talking to someone else. if you say somnething then you will probably get strange looks your self.
Neither get drawn up into the bitching.
Unfortunately you will find that in every workplace..some more than others.. mine for example is riddled with it... for good reason, but it still gets you down when it is constant.

You already use your headphones, make it clear that when this gets too much you will put headphones on..pointedly, "the headphones of workplace bliss". One colleague of mine actually stuck her fingers in her ears and went "lalalalalala" til the other shut up.

Kold

Seems like you're being a bit sensitive. He has the right to have any disposition he likes. If you don't like him, don't talk to him.

veeda

Talliesin wrote:

Just say "oh just, shut the **** up".

It's not the most polite thing to say, but you've already tried that one.

He is either the sort of person who always complains no matter what, in which case "shut the **** up" is the perfect response, or he needs to realise that the job isn't suiting him and he should look for a new position, in which case "shut the **** up" is the perfect response.

This totally worked for me.

I used to work with a girl who pissed everyone off with her constant bitching and moaning. She was extremely lazy and would spend the whole day surfing the net while the rest of us picked up her slack, then would have a fit if anyone interrupted her and asked her to pitch in.

One day i had enough of her incessant whining and snapped "WOULD YOU PLEASE JUST SHUT THE *** UP!" Her jaw hit the deck, she ran out of the room crying and everyone cheered. I know it sounds mean but it made everyone's day. My boss didn't even ask me to aplogise. And, the girl toned down the whining thing (at least when I was around).

Heisenberg.

This post has been deleted.

kmick

Say something like "..I am getting tired of you being so negative all the time, if you cant be positive at least be professional". Say it in front of everyone - it should shut him up for 10 minutes.