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A few things i need to get off my chest

  • 27-02-2007 12:05am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hello there, i have quite a bit that i need to get off my chest and have problems saying it to anyone, hence posting as unregistered.
    First off, i started college this year, a whole new beginning, but due to the large numbers of the course im in, i find it quite difficult to mix, as i have always been the shy guy. Luckily tho i have settled slightly and met a few nice people that i could call friends. It also doesnt help that i am too young to go out to any nightclubs and socialise.
    Next, my younger brother, with whom i have never been close to, was recently diagnosed with depression, which completely turned my family around. Its like walking on eggshells now and i feel under a lot of pressure, and that his illness is rubbing off on me.
    I used to be highly involved in sport and made provincial trials and player of the season last season but have dropped out due to unfriendly team members. I have gone from training 4 nights a week not including matches to doing nothing.
    Finally, and most upsetting is that i am feeling really lonely at the minute. I havnt had any form of sexual contact with a girl in almost 2 years, and im not even 18 yet. A number of friends are in strong relationships which doesnt help. I have always been told that im a really good looking lad and really nice etc. but that doesnt seem to make a difference. There is a girl who i have liked for a while, most of 6th year in school and i recently, shyly told her my feelings, but to no avail, shedoesnt like me in THAT way. Cant disagree, just have to get over it, but it has made me feel a bit lonely.
    Thanks for letting me get that out, releases a bit of tension.


Comments

  • #2
    Black Swan
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 47,355 CMod ✭✭✭✭Black Swan


    sigh wrote:
    It also doesnt help that i am too young to go out to any nightclubs and socialise.
    Go to houseparties? Join a SOC? When you hit 18 go to Boards Beers?


  • #3
    little lady
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 339 ✭✭little lady


    It also doesnt help that I am too young to go out to any nightclubs and socialise.

    I know a large part of college social life revolves around drinking but there is more to socialising than drinking and nightclubs. Try joining social clubs or asking your friends to go places and do things that don’t involve drinking.

    Its like walking on eggshells

    Why? I suffered from depression before I didn’t want to be treated differently; maybe your brother is different. Talk to him about how he is feeling and treat him like you always did, he really isn’t any different.

    I used to be highly involved in sport

    Then get back to playing sport, why give up what you enjoy and are good at just because of a few unfriendly people, the whole team can’t be unfriendly towards you. Even if you don’t want to play for your college there must be other teams in the area that you can play for.


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    'Being in a big course can be tough. There are 300-400 people in my college class and it makes it harder to mix. I found I had similar problems when i started but im in third year now and thats all cleared up. At the start people are anxious to make friends and then close off their group to ensure that theyre protected...but after a while you'll find people become more comfortable with themselves and a lot more open. Things like group assignments and

    As regards the drinking and socialising issue, it very easy to say that you should do things that dont involve alcohol but not so easy in practice to entice everyone away from the pub. Do you live at home or in college? Why not suggest a houseparty at yours with lots of disgusting cheap beer? (also good for dealing with the women problem!) Or even just taking off to the cinema or something?

    Sorry i cant give any advice on the situation with your brother, dont have any knowledge or experience on the subject and wouldnt like to be going on about something I didnt know about.'


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