What happens when you break up?

LegacyUser

Okay, My girlfriend and I broke up on tuesday night after a 2 year solid relationship.
I'm not comin on here for advice on how to cope etc. I'm dealing with it and i'm doing okay.
Basically I just wanna know what happens when 2 people break up? It was my first serious relationship and i'm lost the last 3 days. For the past 800 odd days we had been in contact with each other EVERY day by phone, text, email or in person.
The past 72 hours have been torture looking at my phone... Ive heard nothing!
We broke up in good-ish terms, nothing hostile or anything but I never asked can we remain friends (We were'nt friends before we met)...
What happens now? Is that it? Chin up and move on?

scorplett

42!

Wibbs

Whatnow? wrote:

Okay, My girlfriend and I broke up on tuesday night after a 2 year solid relationship.

Do you mind me asking why you broke up, if it was such a solid relationship? I'm not being a pr!ck, I'm just wondering why it ended. If it's too personal don't answer, maybe it's a question that you should be asking yourself anyway.

I'm not comin on here for advice on how to cope etc. I'm dealing with it and i'm doing okay.

Fair play.

Basically I just wanna know what happens when 2 people break up? It was my first serious relationship and i'm lost the last 3 days. For the past 800 odd days we had been in contact with each other EVERY day by phone, text, email or in person.

I feel for you but if it's truly over you both need some distance. It's like ripping a plaster off quickly rather than the agonising slow tug if you don't.

The past 72 hours have been torture looking at my phone... Ive heard nothing!

Did she break up with you or was it mutual? In any case you're simply missing the wonderful habit of couples in love and all that stuff(which you already know anyway).

We broke up in good-ish terms, nothing hostile or anything but I never asked can we remain friends (We were'nt friends before we met)...

I suppose you could ask yourself were you friends in the relationship itself?

What happens now? Is that it? Chin up and move on?

Pretty much unless there was something more there which can either result in a reconciliation or you becoming friends again. Either way you will be a better person if you learn from this and although it may not seem that way at the moment, it will help you with future relationships, if you learn the mistakes from this one. Not just the mistakes BTW, also the good things you did for her and she for you.

Sometimes two people are not meant to last, even if for the time they're together it's good.

Wibbs

scorplett wrote:

42!

Brilliant insight. You must be the life and soul of your circle.

cornbb

Glad you're feeling you can cope with it. But the whole looking at your phone and not getting anything feeling is the worst thing about your situation - it is inevitable, but good for you in the long run though. You've gotta cope with the knowledge that that companionship you were used to is no longer there. Who do you turn to for comfort? Who do you text in the evenings? I'm not asking you these questions, these are rhetorical questions - I've been there myself recently enough, just trying to point out the reality of your situation.

Its not going to be easy, getting over a 2 year relationship just like that. I'm sorry to say it, but 72 hours is nothing. If you decide you want to be friends with the girl you'll have to give it some time, at least a few months, and you can't be texting her or expecting texts from her in that time. In the meantime just try to keep yourself occupied, turn to another friend or friends for comfort/companionship. I know this all sounds like the same old tired PI advice but its all you can do really. I guess just try to get used to your new independance and take advantage of it. Best of luck with it man.

irlirishkev

Okay.

If you and your ex have the same group of friends, then it can be tricky distancing yourselves from eachother, and believe me, you *do* need to distance yourselves from eachother.

It's normal to keep looking at your phone etc, and miss the close contact that you had, but this will pass.

There's going to be different scenarios for every breakup, but the best way to deal with it, is to put some distance between yourselves, and get out there and re-discover single life. It's not that bad..

K.

LegacyUser

'as someone who has come out of a 5 and 1/2 year relationship, only about 3 months ago, I know what you are going through..suddenly things like weekends, holidays, days off and any bit of free time are things to be dreaded rather than anticipated..the lonileness, the sudden strangeness of being alone is really rather wierd and heartbreaking..I think you are just gonna have to find ways to fill your time! you will never fill the void that the happy times, empathy, companionship and love once filled but I think time will eventually work its magic and you will learn to adapt and live again..thats what Im hoping for anyways:('

Black Swan

Whatnow? wrote:

We broke up in good-ish terms, nothing hostile or anything but I never asked can we remain friends (We were'nt friends before we met)...
What happens now? Is that it? Chin up and move on?

Normally it's over, you lick your wounds, and move on. Friends? Really depends upon the reasons why you broke up? If one cheated on the other, it's really over, like forever! If one was not ready, fell out of love, needed room, whatever, then perhaps a friendship could evolve after some time?