Song critque and feedback please...

frobisher

I'd like to think that as the forum grows we can have a perfect place to get honest, constructive feedback on our material. I'll go first.

It's a simple song that I wrote in about 20minutes after going for a walk with my son on Killiney strand (although I wrote the bridge more than a year after the main song). I thought it had quite a naturally broad appeal and a kind of a pop heart so I went with that in the production with the aim of making a 3 1/2 minute tune that I could approach publishers to have covered by some pretty pop kids. Although truth be told I think I need a better sounding recording for that. Have a listen yourself and give your feedback.

Perfect Day

Bratach Bán

Hey, Im just getting this from the link:

No shared files/folders found.
Please email support@box.net for support

I'll check back later. By the way, great idea for a forum, I've been waiting for it for a while.:)

frobisher

Hi Bratach Bán, welcome to the forum.

Thanks for letting me know about the link. It should be fixed now.

Gaspode

Thats a pretty good song, I could hear potential for some good vocal harmonies in there. So probably would be good for a boy band though I'm not sure thats complimentary! Kinda has a crowded house/turin brakes vibe about it.
It might be improved by a strong middle eigth or other part to break it up a little.

Savman

Decent song, don't get preoccupied about the boy band resemblence, all pop acts have some of the world's greatest songwriters penning their hits so it's no insult by any means.

Vox sound good, maybe a bit over compressed (ye can hear the siblance) and maybe stronger rhythm guitar would brighten it up a little. Try panning acoustic left and that elec gtr right and get them better balanced in the mix. I'd like to hear more acoustic anyway.

It maintained my interest, which can only be a good thing

hullaballoo

Good song. Very BellX1.

Don't take this the wrong way, but the singer needs to get his voice trained. It's a good voice, and he's well able to sing (hit the notes right), but needs to strengthen it, and be able to sustain those longer notes.

*Tripper*

Nice song just the singer just put a bit more pressure on his stomach when singing to give it a bit more body! I found that helped me!

Nice work though!

red_ice

Fair fks frobisher! Not really my bag, but its well done and it tells a nice little story, good sound, clearly your own

SolMate

Good song...I walk on Killiney Strand occasionally too, live nearby!

I like the vocal, very pleasant....and the lead guitar effect (real or virtual?) over the musical bed is nicely effective.
The ending is chopped off a bit abruptly, but you know that.

I've been posting on U.S. based boards for ages, will be happy to shove a couple of my humble home-made efforts up here to help get the board rolling!

Gerry

frobisher

THanks for all the feedback. I'm going to re-record it and make a few changes. Maybe when I've done that I'll do a re-post and compare.