Why do women let his happen?

Black Swan

Backtoblack wrote:

wow cool blue lagoon!! Didn't know you did MA!
I would love to but tried a few of them and was only ever good at TaiChi.. which I loved but not good self defence as a beginner.
Anyway, won't go way off topic.

Started very young, way before I knew what I was doing. Know a little more now, having successfully tested and achieved my Kukkiwon 2-dan black belt in taekwondo a couple months past. Instructing after work is fun. Just wish I could convince more girls and women to learn how to defend themselves against bullies like the ones mentioned in this thread.

passive

Didn't know you did MA!

I do yore MA. :cool:

Dave!

Nice.

ats

A guy from the Us wrote a song about this very subject. his name is Chris Kane. the story goes that he had a neighbour that was constantly being hit by her partner and one night he got sick of it and to quote "I politely knocked at the door and politely beat the sh1t out of him, This girl never spoke to me again but i don't care coz she left him soon after that" so at least one realised the situation she was in and used the help of a good Samaritan to find an exit.

its a well documented fact that a lot of good Samaritans do end up the worse for wear ofter these incidents. I myself got involved. luckily it wasn't a violent exchange. the guy was in her face late on Saturday night, she was in floods of tears and she looked scared. i just walked up and asked him to give it a rest, then just stepped back and stood there, he fecked off and she thanked me. I walked her to a cab and sent her on her way. I'd like to think that she went her own way after that but some peoples stupidity never fails to amaze me. that was about 10 years ago, now i doubt I'd get involved. maybe call the police or something and hang around if needed.

@ Blue Lagoon, I have for many years tried to get my wife to come to MA classes with me, I've trained in many stiles off and on for the last 15 - 20 years and keep telling her of the health benefits but also the fact that most schools i have gone to have a self defence section, and some are specific for female students. but she wont go, says she'd feel stupid.

WhiteWashMan

connundrum wrote:

I didn't find the comment stupid. If not a class then definitely a significant section of the female population.

so, youre saying that there are a set of females out there that will put up physical and mental abuse, just so they can tell people they have a boyfriend?

and you actually believe that?

i think its a bit more complicated.

there are certianly people in abusive relationships that are afraid to leave for various reasons, in much the same way there are people in non abusive realtionships that wont leave.

but to say that people remain in this realtionships just becuase they want to be able to 'have a man at their side' is stupidity.

galah

thought long and hard about writing anything in this thread, since there is an awful lot of ignorant crap being posted...

Anyway, the posters who say the whole thing is more complex than "if you're abused then leave" are right. Been there, not easy. And I consider myself a strong person, and thought it would never happen to me.

First of all, those relationships are not abusive all the time - otherwise, it would be a no-brainer. The problem is that if you're in such a relationship, you also have good times, the constant hope that the abuser will change and life will always be peachy - until the next bout of abuse comes along, keeping you hoping for the nice times. Plus the promises of the abuser to change. One reason to stay in such a relationship.

Second of all, as said before, the abuser will manage to reduce your self-esteem and self-worth to zero. You WILL start to think that you are fat/ugly/useless/not worth anything/won't get anyone else anyway. This process is usually slow and subtle, but effective. If you're constantly told you're fat, you will start to believe it. You will also believe that noone else wants you, and you should be lucky to have a partner, who, in his graceful air, keeps you, even though you're fat and ugly and useless. Be grateful!

Third: Leaving is not that easy. I for example, was stuck in a far-away land, with my visa depending on this relationship, and no support network (and a scary amount of pride - I simply did not want to come crawling back home and admitting that moving to this country with this guy was a big mistake).
Plus the second I was strong enough to say i wanted out of the relationship, a whole different level of abuse started - of the violent, death-threat kind. Makes you think twice, believe me. You know you want and must out, but you're scared ****less of what will happen if you dare.

sorry, running out of time here, but there's definitely more to these abusive relationships and the people who remain in it than meets the eye...Don't judge them, instead, if it happens to someone around you, offer support, and slow constant reassurance. People in these relationships have to realise themselves what's going on, but they need encourangement, and a second, more realistic opinion to help them see clear...

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

this is after hours, if the Op wanted a rational reasoned debate on the subject he would have posted in Humanities.

connundrum

WhiteWashMan wrote:

so, youre saying that there are a set of females out there that will put up physical and mental abuse, just so they can tell people they have a boyfriend?

and you actually believe that?

i think its a bit more complicated.

there are certianly people in abusive relationships that are afraid to leave for various reasons, in much the same way there are people in non abusive realtionships that wont leave.

but to say that people remain in this realtionships just becuase they want to be able to 'have a man at their side' is stupidity.

I presume that no woman would set out with the intention of taking a beating provided that her man doesn't stray.

I will agree with you that it is far more complicated but I was, as I'm sure Mike65 was being general. Maybe you can't be as general with relation to this topic.

But again, I have seen/know women who will take a few slaps and to my knowledge there is no reason for them to stay with the man ie. no children, renting a house, not married etc.

It is probably a mixture of fear of being alone and a dwindling hope that the man will actually change his ways.

Either way its sad. (with no sarcastic undertone)

Black Swan

ats wrote:

@ Blue Lagoon, I have for many years tried to get my wife to come to MA classes with me, I've trained in many stiles off and on for the last 15 - 20 years and keep telling her of the health benefits but also the fact that most schools i have gone to have a self defence section, and some are specific for female students. but she wont go, says she'd feel stupid.

Yes, she is missing out on improved physical health, fitness, and self esteem. Some of the women I know look younger than their peers of the same age, and demonstrate a higher level of energy. With both of you in MA, you could have fun working out together, not only during training sessions, but with improved fitness and stamina, it could lead to even more fun afterhours...

Boston

WhiteWashMan wrote:

so, youre saying that there are a set of females out there that will put up physical and mental abuse, just so they can tell people they have a boyfriend?

and you actually believe that?

i think its a bit more complicated.

there are certianly people in abusive relationships that are afraid to leave for various reasons, in much the same way there are people in non abusive realtionships that wont leave.

but to say that people remain in this realtionships just becuase they want to be able to 'have a man at their side' is stupidity.

There are women out there who believe that being with a man and getting slapped around are part of the same package. That you can't have one without the other, or at the very least that they can't. so yes, I guess I would agree with what Mike said, to a degree.

wow sierra

Have ye seen the Trócaire lentan campaign ad? Says it all really!!!

Like someone said earlier I suppose you couldn't expect a reasoned debate in after hours. Suffice to say the whole area of domestic abuse is hugely complex and no two cases are exactly the same.

Its certainly not a simple case of why doesn't she leave him - very few shelter places, they often follow them and find them and then treat them worse, their self confidence has been shattered so they couldnt cope alone etc. Also there is the unfortunate fact that for better or worse they love these men.

Anyone with serious views on this can give some support to the likes of Womens Aid or Trocaire or campaign for better supports when their TDs come calling.

Fanny Cradock

Mordeth wrote:

this is after hours, if the Op wanted a rational reasoned debate on the subject he would have posted in Humanities.

Ah, never thought of that.

galah wrote:

Second of all, as said before, the abuser will manage to reduce your self-esteem and self-worth to zero. You WILL start to think that you are fat/ugly/useless/not worth anything/won't get anyone else anyway. This process is usually slow and subtle, but effective. If you're constantly told you're fat, you will start to believe it. You will also believe that noone else wants you, and you should be lucky to have a partner, who, in his graceful air, keeps you, even though you're fat and ugly and useless. Be grateful!

In your case was this a concious effort on your abusers part? Did he sit down and think,"right, today I'll mostly be working on mentally wearing her down followed by a beating to reinforce my point"

p.s. meant to say fair play to you for making the break

WhiteWashMan

Boston wrote:

There are women out there who believe that being with a man and getting slapped around are part of the same package. That you can't have one without the other, or at the very least that they can't. so yes, I guess I would agree with what Mike said, to a degree.

he said that there are women out there who would take abuse just to have a partner.

i am well aware that there are people out there who feel it may be a package, but you think they will put up with it just to say they have a fella?

i doubt it.

if you still think they are the same thing, then grand, but i see a gulf of difference between the two.

connundrum wrote:

I presume that no woman would set out with the intention of taking a beating provided that her man doesn't stray.

but thats pretty much what mike65 has said.

connundrum wrote:

I will agree with you that it is far more complicated but I was, as I'm sure Mike65 was being general. Maybe you can't be as general with relation to this topic.

maybe he was, but he is still wrong with that generalisation. i dont believe anyone would be with someone abusive just to say they have a partner.

it may happen over years, but by that stage i dont think this still holds true.

connundrum wrote:

But again, I have seen/know women who will take a few slaps and to my knowledge there is no reason for them to stay with the man ie. no children, renting a house, not married etc.

read the thread above about how your self esteem can be run down. believe it or not, there are people out there who are far more effective at psychological torture than any military person. it happens over a long time, and just becuase you dont see why they dont leave, doent mean that they can.

connundrum wrote:

It is probably a mixture of fear of being alone and a dwindling hope that the man will actually change his ways.

anyone who is waiting on the second item there is probably a hopeless optimist!
the first may be true, but not in the 'i have a fella' way. i would say it was more in the way of a feeling a helplessness at the thought of having to be alone.

connundrum wrote:

Either way its sad. (with no sarcastic undertone)

its extremely sad. i have extensive second hand experience (ie, not me directly, but very close to me) of this kind of situation, not once but twice.

and the sad thing is that these people actually believe they love the person that is abusive, and that somehow, they deserve what they get, whether it be physical or psychological abuse.

Boston

WhiteWashMan wrote:

he said that there are women out there who would take abuse just to have a partner.

i am well aware that there are people out there who feel it may be a package, but you think they will put up with it just to say they have a fella?

i doubt it.

if you still think they are the same thing, then grand, but i see a gulf of difference between the two.

Ah yes, I see what you're saying.

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

wow sierra wrote:

Have ye seen the Trócaire lentan campaign ad? Says it all really!!!

yeah, that ad is pretty funny.

what the hell are trócaire going to do to improve the status of women in most parts of the world? It took milleniums (i am full sure that is not the plural of millenium, but my first guess was millenia and spellcheck says no so I give up) for western culture to give women the rights they oughta have by birth and there are still bucket loads of issues in our civilisation. The rest of the world needs their equivalent of the enlightenment, or some sort of secular uprising, before women, gays and whatever other oppressed groups out there can get what they are due. Trócaire sure as **** ain't going to make any progress.

alternatively we could start world war three, as it was ww 1 and 2 that made it necessary for women in this part of the world to start working en masse and it was this that gave them the taste of free life, which they worked very very hard not to give up after the wars end.

so, any americans reading this.. vote republican in 08 and do your bit for womens rights worldwide.

wow sierra

Trocaire are making changes in peoples lives all over the worls every day - if you care to look into their track record. Also I believe the OP relates to the developed world - Ireland.

Women couldn't sit on jurys and had to give up work when they married up to the 70's in Ireland ( thats the 1970s). You lost most jobs if you got pregnant out of wedlock at around the same time. And if you think some muslim family reaction to casual sex, mixed marriage etc is from the dark ages - try Ireland about 50 years ago. Contraception is legal since the 80s (1980s!!!) and I cant give you the date on equal pay. Im not sure where your idea of how many centuries change takes!!

Dara Robinson

I've, in my life time, seen something similar.

On 3 separate occasions I say girls getting punched (I have seen a lot more violence of other types but these were the most extreme). Not slapped, ruffed up or anything like that. Punched, full fisted, by another guy. All times I tired to intervene and every single time the girls (broken nose, bleeding and so on) has defended the that was was only seconds ago beating her up.

At this stage I have given up. The long and short of it, no idea. And no longer care.

WindSock

Kenny 5 wrote:

I think the days of it being a no-no to raise your hand to a woman are gone btw...........they wanted equality, surely in every way?

Well yeah, if equality in every way means women can take and give a punch the same as a man, that would be great. Where do I sign up for equal strength and bone structure?
Incidentally, I was getting pwned a while back and no one came to my rescue. I wouldnt have attacked my hero:cool:

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

what, so a strong man shouldn't hit a weaker man?
if a woman starts **** with someone, they deserve a slap in the face as much as any man would.

wow, when I said this part of the world I was referring to western civilisation... Ireland is a backwards hole, always has been and always will be.

Kinetic^

LOL, I'm not saying that if some burd slaps me, that she's getting a full force punch in the face.....not at all............but I'm going to try and restrain the psycho or else run away......if neither of them work, I'd probably call the po-po on her ass!!!

galah

Fanny Cradock wrote:

Ah, never thought of that.



In your case was this a concious effort on your abusers part? Did he sit down and think,"right, today I'll mostly be working on mentally wearing her down followed by a beating to reinforce my point"

p.s. meant to say fair play to you for making the break

not sure if it was totally concious, however, there seemed to have been some sort of system to it (well, he was mostly on drugs as well, so that would have not helped matters...). At the end of the day, this guy was a very insecure sad little pr*ck who had to take it out on someone "weaker" than him (due to my situation, he wasn't like that when we met, but then I moved to his country, and he had the upper hand and full control...) because he was dissatisfied with his own miserable life, and because he could.

And to answer one of the other questions, after a while, you do start to believe thay you deserve this kind of treatment, since you're so worn down (if you're able to think at all, that is...). As I said, it does not happen from one day to the next, it takes a while, little things, adding up...

WindSock

Mordeth wrote:

what, so a strong man shouldn't hit a weaker man?
if a woman starts **** with someone, they deserve a slap in the face as much as any man would.

wow, when I said this part of the world I was referring to western civilisation... Ireland is a backwards hole, always has been and always will be.

Yeah, a slap in the face or an arm restraint is fine in my books, but a closed fist In the face I think crosses the line. I dont think my neck and face would take a punch as easy as a weak mans.
I don't think there are many weaker men that would start fights on bigger stronger men, But there are a lot of oppertunistic skanger women that think they are invincible when it comes to hitting men. They deserve a swift kick in the Gee

Going Demented

I wasn't going to post here but sure why not. It might answers your questions OP from my point but i guess everyone is different. Sorry if this ends up long

I was in an abusive relationship (Never in public, street angel, house devil). Wasn't always the way but it became the norm. I always believed if anyone laid a hand on me i would be out the door. My ex was like a split personality, the best in the world, yet the worst in the world. Also alcohol was a big issue with him (7 days a week it became). I was crazy about him. A few months before the violence started he was very very possessive. If i spoke to anyone or even looked in a certain direction he was convinced i was cheating. He had a lot of comments about my past that i started to believe. (I was raised by grandparents, he said even my "real father" did not want me, that i was not to be disillusioned, my family weren't my family). Always apologised and said it was the drink talking but i gradually started to lose all my confidence. Moved in with him. Two WEEKS after moving in i got a slap in the face, pushed to the ground and kicked in the stomach. I was shocked, had never known anything like it. Got out of there like the clappers of hell and drove away. Didn't feel like i could go back home, two weeks after moving out. Went back the next day, he saw the state of me and was full of apologies. Blamed it on everything that was going on in his life. Pulled the love you to bits card, don't want to lose you, it'll never happen again. I like a fool believed him cause that was the only time i had seen that side of him, and i didn't want to go home. At this stage i was terrified to even receive a text message from a family member cause it would set him off that i was having an affair with someone if the phone beeped. Well it did happen again, a week later he punched me in the face and even managed to break his finger with the punch. I was in A&E with my nose, he was in A&E with a "boxers break" and ended up in a cast. That night i broke down and told my mother everything. I moved home. Have 6 brothers and if they knew they would kill him, i wanted someone to punch him but i didn't want my brothers getting in bother.

Fast forward blahblah. I went back! Why? I said i would give it one more shot. Why? Cause i must have been one big thick eejit. I can't explain it. I kept believing the bull**** he was spinning me. We moved to another area, his hometown. New house etc. New start. As this stage his family are not speaking to him. He had tried to choke his own father. To this day the still do not speak to him and they begged me to get away from him that he was no good. My family did not know i moved back. I didn't tell them because i had told him i was giving it one month only to see if it worked, if it didn't i was gone and didn't want my mother to be worrying about me. He was very jealous of my family. He also knew a secret i had kept that would have devastated my family and said if i ever left he would tell them. I wouldn't put it past him cause he had already told my mother during one argument. I was terrified of my dad and brothers finding out. It was not a little secret, something quiet big and something that haunted me. He had been the only one to know everything, i had trusted him when i had told him. Anyway the violence started again. Went on and on. I was wore down, ended up seeing a psychiatrist and on anti depressants. I was hitting rock bottom and was miserable. Had started believing all the horrible things he had said about me. One night drunk again he started on me. Accused me of having sex with my own brother (god knows). He tried throw me down the stairs. At this stage i had enough of him. I swung him around and said i was going to **** him down the stairs. He caught me by the hair and closed his fist, pulled my head back and said some nasty things as he punched me full force in the face. My hair fell out in clumps, my nose was busted, blood was flying out my nose and mouth. In that instance i lost it. I punched him and told him i was getting out of there because i was so close to getting a knife and sinking it into him. I packed everything. I left. That was the night for some reason it flew home to me. I felt i was raised better than that. Waiting for a punch and resorting to punching someone back. I felt ashamed. I kept thinking 'hit me once shame on him, hit me twice shame on ME". I had left him do that. I was a fool. I honestly believed he would eventually kill me, he had threatened to slit my throat countless times. I wouldn't put it past him. I turned into one miserable person. I was always happy and at that point i was miserable, depressed and had zero confidence. Over a man? Yes! Over me? Yes, i let him do it the second, third time. I had always been close to my family but i had chosen him first. I went back to my family. Some of them now know everything, some don't. But i know i am stronger now. I know what signs to look for. I know what BS i won't put up with. I am incredibly happy. It wasn't a case of needing a man or having a man, i am and in the past have been quite happy without one. Life is boring right now but i couldn't be happier. He has come out the loser in all this. I wasn't the first he done it to, I won't be the last, unfortunately i knew nothing about his previous history, only got told about it afterwards. When he is out he is still the life and soul fo a party, he is seen as a gentleman, you wouldn't think mutter would melt. Everyone loves him thinks he is a nice guy, no one would believe me if they knew the half of it only his family. But he has nothing. He still begs me to go back, up until the other day he was still texting his old bull**** about changing and missing me and stupid voice messages. Well i've changed my number cause there's no way i'm gonna be stupid yet another time.

Guess people stay for all different reasons. For me it was a mixture of
- being a fool
- believing false promises.
- Low self esteem/no confidence
- believing all the rotten things he said about me.
- not wanting my family to find out what he was threatening to tell them and others (would of resulted in my family being devastated and world war 3 in my family)
- being terrified of him.

Going Demented

Wow i just got my password resent for this message board and looking through old posts. The one above from me is from 2007. How life changed. I now am with the total opposite of the man i was speaking about above. I never did put up with the same old **** again. I have two little girls of 21 months and 3 months after several miscarriages and couldn't be happier.

Liam Byrne

Heisenberg. wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

So you'd ignore what what the OP saw if you were in his position?

Well done OP for (almost) gettin stuck in... I'd have prob got some back up before i confronted this scum too.
As for the girl, she must have had a long history with this guy.
Shes an idiot imo for staying with him.
Still though, there can No excuse for raising your hand to a female.[/Quote]

Pretty sexist view, tbh.

Abi

Going Demented wrote: »

Wow i just got my password resent for this message board and looking through old posts. The one above from me is from 2007. How life changed. I now am with the total opposite of the man i was speaking about above. I never did put up with the same old **** again. I have two little girls of 21 months and 3 months after several miscarriages and couldn't be happier.

I ended it too, and same. Couldnt be happier.


Well done to you

LH Pathe

Ahr yeah they love a big duuuurty dark druid if you really wanna knock here out; then knock her out.

/I have no idea why they let that happen.

hatrickpatrick

faceman wrote: »

This is a very common occurence. Unfortunately in most of the situation the woman begins to believe she is at fault hence why she doesnt see sense and get out of that situation. The male figure will have the female believe she is of no worth without him etc.

Yes but WHY? How does that actually work? If someone treats me like sh*t and then tries to act like I deserve it my response would simply be to eff off and get the hell out of my life. There's obviously something more to it than that, unless you're implying that SO many women are extremely gullible and believe that crap? Because I have enough female friends to know most of them aren't even remotely gullible under any circumstances OTHER than ending up with a guy who makes them feel like rubbish.

The number of times I've heard this exact conversation:
"Urgh I hate him so much, he's such a dick"
"Then dump him?"
"But... but I LOVE him!!!"

Seriously...

I'm sure most guys would agree that if a girl treats you like crap, sure you maybe give her a couple of chances initially but after that it's over. And I don't mean "over" as in you break up for a week during which you dress provocatively around her or deliberately score other girls in front of her to make her "want" you back, I mean you actually just walk away. Why are there so many women who won't do the same?

I honestly don't get it, and sorry if this post seems a bit emotional but one of my best friends (just friends, it's not jealousy or anything remotely like it before I get accused) is like this and my heart literally bleeds for her

Is it some deep rooted emotional masochism? Is it that the 'bad boy' sex appeal overrides the emotional trauma? Is it that some women honestly are just that gullible?
And if not, then what IS it? I wish I had an answer to this so I would understand why the next time this guy screws with her head she'll just end up back with him in less than 24 hours

chucken1

Going Demented wrote: »

Wow i just got my password resent for this message board and looking through old posts. The one above from me is from 2007. How life changed. I now am with the total opposite of the man i was speaking about above. I never did put up with the same old **** again. I have two little girls of 21 months and 3 months after several miscarriages and couldn't be happier.

Good woman

Been there! But got out

Should add. Im with a really good man for 10 years now.

If there was ever one good reason for bringing up an old thread, you are it.

Reamer Fanny

Fanny Cradock wrote: »

Although this happened 2 weeks ago, it is something I've been thinking about since.

I was heading into town to meet a friend for a few drinks. Another week of work was over and as I strolled down the street, carefree, the thought crossed my mind that, yes, life was indeed good.

I was close to the pub my friend was in when I noticed a girl ahead. She seemed in some distresses - lost in dark thoughts. She had a prominent black eye. I considered how she could possibly have received her bruise. Walked into a door? Hummmm!

We had passed by each other her when a guy suddenly grabbed her. He was like whirlwind, full of anger and rage. Who knows, maybe they just had a fight? They walked down the road a little bit (~15m) and he leaned in close to her - with his face pressed against hers he hissed something in into her ear. He then grabbed the girl in a very rough head lock. This was no lovers tiff.

So, this was the time to be a good Samaritan, step up to the plate and be a man, sort this scum out etc. After a brief hesitation, where I considered that I was probably going to get beaten up by this larger, anger man (in other words, loser thoughts), I began to jog back to intervene. I had settled on either punching him in the back of the head and getting him in a head lock (the irony) or kicking the backs of his leg out and wrestling him to the ground... decisions, decisions! He was only meters away when two very, very large bouncers sprinted by me and grabbed the guy, flung him to ground and mashed his face into the path while telling him he was filth. I'd imagine that he was kicked out of the pub by the same bouncers for doing some similar **** to the girl. This was good, I thought. These guys were doing an excellent job of dispensing some rough justice and, selfishly, I considered that I was saved a possible beating. However, the girl looked on and began to cry and plead for her love. After less than a minute of this they let him up and told him to **** off.

The couple walked down the road, and I looked on in horror as she hugged the guy and passionately kissed him. They disappeared around the corner hand in hand.

Now, I could have completely gotten the wrong end of the stick. Maybe she did walk into a door, possibly the guy was using some chiropractor moves on her sore neck, and it is possible that I had witnessed a mugging of a poor innocent chiropractor who's only desire was to rid the world of neck pain. However, I don't think so.

Can anyone explain to me why a young, attractive and, I'd assume, intelligent woman would stay with and love a thug like this? She is the victim of course, but why doesn't she leave him and end the nightmare? Extenuating circumstances aside, why does she let it happen?

Some bitches be crazy

Sindri

Women want to be wanted. It's the way they are. If the man they are emotionally involved with, rejects them, they may want to redress their self esteem and the way they see to do that is try and get the man they are involved with to 're-declare' his love in her.

These women may also be drawing to these sorts of abusive relationships and they may have internalised what it is the man they are involved with opinions.

chucken1

justryan wrote: »

Some bitches be crazy

Sindri wrote: »

Women want to be wanted. It's the way they are. If the man they are emotionally involved with, rejects them, they may want to redress their self esteem and the way they see to do that is try and get the man they are involved with to 're-declare' his love in her.

These women may also be drawing to these sorts of abusive relationships and they may have internalised what it is the man they are involved with opinions.

Have EITHER of you read WHY this thread has been resurrected???

Stiffler2

Some women enjoy a good beating every now and then, didn't you know ?

Judging by the 1 black eye she only had to be told once.

Mod note: user banned for this stupid "joke"

blatantrereg

I expected the end bit tbh - where the girl is hostile to people trying to intervene to help her.

She accepts it because she is psychologically damaged far more severely than she is physically. As someone pointed out in a thread about f2m domestic violence - physical violence is usually about control. It comes down to psychological domination at the end of the day.

biko

Going Demented wrote: »

Wow i just got my password resent for this message board and looking through old posts. The one above from me is from 2007. How life changed. I now am with the total opposite of the man i was speaking about above. I never did put up with the same old **** again. I have two little girls of 21 months and 3 months after several miscarriages and couldn't be happier.

Thanks for the update.
I'll lock this an old thread now.