Ever been fooled?

democrates

Here's one that puts me on edge, has anyone been to Thailand and been fooled into thinking a transexual guy is a woman?

i'm straight so forgive the intrusion if that's what this is.

Stark

Dunno, you ever mistake a peach for a nectarine? I have. I looked quite the fool.

unreggd

Stark wrote:

Dunno, you ever mistake a peach for a nectarine? I have. I looked quite the fool.

Were your cheeks as red as the peach, or wait, was it a nectarine?.... Ah balls


My friend seems to have a super power of pickin out Ladyboys from Thailand after one trip there!

Personally, I dont really find many of them attractive, not bein racist there, just honest!

Nevyn

hmmm I wonder should i'm straight and by the way i'm straight becum banning offenses.

You because you looked at somone who was dressed and posing as a female and was aroused and got a hard on and taught about the indecent sexual acts you would like to preform on them that you would never tell your mother and that person then turns out to once had or still has a penis that does not make you gay or bisexual.

DublinWriter

Thaedydal wrote:

hmmm I wonder should i'm straight and by the way i'm straight banning offenses.

...and that's a sentence how?

Basically OP, it's an issue of misrepresentation under the law, not only of this country, but most others.

Personally I say watch for the Adams Apple.

spurious

Is it just me, or do women find it much easier to spot when a 'lady' is a 'ladyboy'?

I've never seen one I didn't 'suspect' from the off. Don't mind the Adam's apple, it's the hands and feet are the give away.

I think South East Asian men make lovely ladies - I suppose it's their small frame. They still have the hands and feet thing going on though.

MicraBoy

I think I speak for all the gay men of this forum when I say I was utterly delighted to discover that the lady I pulled in Thailand was in fact a man. The lesbians of this forum, on the other hand, were gutted.

The_Minister

DublinWriter wrote:

...and that's a sentence how?

She forgot the "be". Big deal.

@Thaedydal, maybe people assume that everyone posting on this forum is gay, unless stated otherwise

Nevyn

Only straight people think that way, those of us that have different or multiple gender preference tend to know better.

Should we make up a little gif that all the straight posters can use to identify themselves to each other ?

Is it just me, or do women find it much easier to spot when a 'lady' is a 'ladyboy'?

Even if they transition early and have been on horrormoan treatments and have dainty hand and feet ( /shrug I have man's sized feet according to most women's shoe shops ) and even if they have had the adams apple work done
men's elbows hing slightly different from womens and the pelvis tilts differently, unless they are in very high heeled shoes.

But honestly if I see someone and they are clearly dresssing as female I will treat them as such and be respectful and refer to them as the gender of thier chosing.

spurious

Thaedydal wrote:

But honestly if I see someone and they are clearly dresssing as female I will treat them as such and be respectful and refer to them as the gender of thier chosing.

Absolutely. There is a film called 'By Hook or by Crook' which plays a great deal with gender and how uncomfortable people get when they can't 'fit' someone inot a box. It's very thought provoking.

It's not unlike Sam in the last Big Brother (er...not that I watch it of course...someone must have told me). Sam caused consternation in the house alternately referring to him/herself as different genders. Some people got really REALLY angry about it.

democrates

Thaedydal wrote:

hmmm I wonder should i'm straight and by the way i'm straight banning offenses.

You because you looked at somone who was dressed and posing as a female and was aroused and got a hard on and taught about the indecent sexual acts you would like to preform on them that you would never tell your mother and that person then turns out to once had or still has a penis that does not make you gay or bisexual.

Surprised at that from you based on previous measured posts I've read.

I post on boards quite a bit and some day I'd like to attend a boards social event and meet some of the characters I converse with on tech, politics etc. Those with access privileges have my email address which contains my name, and given the title of this forum I think it's a fair right for people here to clarify their sexuality if they so wish.

As for the rest of it, I had no physical arousal at what I saw, but nonetheless my male brain got a pattern match on the feminine face and long hair and found it attractive and so what, I know it means nothing about my sexuality, my unease is that I'm used to relying on instant recognition, but it highlighted the prospect of being fooled and then finding out a la crying game.

As for who I may or may not fear to tell, you can exclude my mum from that list as she died last year. But you weren't to know that in fairness, no hard feelings. You've a beautiful name and icon btw. See what I did there?

Nevyn

democrates wrote:

Surprised at that from you based on previous measured posts I've read.

I have my touchy topics like everyone else and this is not one my forums so I don't have to be as cautious as it were in voicing my opinions.
If the mods of this forum feel that my post was out of line or you feel that you wish to report it and they wish to take action I will take what ever they dish out with good grace.

democrates wrote:

I post on boards quite a bit and some day I'd like to attend a boards social event and meet some of the characters I converse with on tech, politics etc. Those with access privileges have my email address which contains my name, and given the title of this forum I think it's a fair right for people here to clarify their sexuality if they so wish.

I think it is sad and sorely telling of the society that we live in that you may feel you have to or else lose face or feel that you or your reputation may have been impinged by the mere fact of posting in this forum and that you would have to state your sexual gender preference.

I would ask why you posted about it here and not in PI or not in Humanities
( or not in s&s if you are a subscriber ) ?

democrates wrote:

As for the rest of it, I had no physical arousal at what I saw, but nonetheless my male brain got a pattern match on the feminine face and long hair and found it attractive and so what, I know it means nothing about my sexuality, my unease is that I'm used to relying on instant recognition, but it highlighted the prospect of being fooled and then finding out a la crying game.

Well Thialand being notrious for it's tourist sex trade and for it's ladyboys
I would assume that you would be aware of the situation over there and be more alert. Would you be less worried about that happening here as most irish males would be less dainty ?

Is it the being made a fool of which be the bigger issue or the fact the person was in the end 'male' ?

democrates wrote:

As for who I may or may not fear to tell, you can exclude my mum from that list as she died last year. But you weren't to know that in fairness, no hard feelings.

Sorry to hear about your loss, it is never easy to loose a parent.


I would till be curious why you think that those who post here what ever thier sexual gender preference would be able inform you more about this ?

I was once 'fooled' by a girl who tought she was at least bisexual if not a lesbian;
oddly enough she changed her mind when I went from just kissing her to first base.
Shame she'd a nice ass.

biko

Thaedydal wrote:

hmmm I wonder should i'm straight and by the way i'm straight becum banning offenses.

I've yet to go to Thailand but while there I'd stay away from teh seks and maybe just pinch a bum or too Anyway, the whole working girl thing puts me off.

DublinWriter

The_Minister wrote:

She forgot the "be". Big deal.

I'm glad you could made some sense out of it.

Maybe you could tell us all where the 'be' was supposed to go, some of us are too indifferent to play 'Spot the Verb'.

Nevyn

I edited my post which you would see if you bothered to scroll up.
I do try but sometimes my dyslexia can get the better of me.

antSionnach

wait wait, kissing is not first base?

oh and no, i've never been fooled.

democrates

Thaedydal wrote:

I have my touchy topics like everyone else and this is not one my forums so I don't have to be as cautious as it were in voicing my opinions.
If the mods of this forum feel that my post was out of line or you feel that you wish to report it and they wish to take action I will take what ever they dish out with good grace.

Imho your post warrants neither sanction nor suppression, discord is as much a part of discourse as accord so no petty tattle tales from this quarter, feel free to let lash I actually prefer the raw honesty.

Thaedydal wrote:

I think it is sad and sorely telling of the society that we live in that you may feel you have to or else lose face or feel that you or your reputation may have been impinged by the mere fact of posting in this forum and that you would have to state your sexual gender preference.

Is it your belief that if I say I'm straight, it follows that I must believe if someone thought I wasn't that I'd lose face or it would tarnish my reputation? That wasn't my motivation at all and isn't my view, I'm with you in rejecting intolerance.

Can you see that if I go to a boards social event I might like those who know me from my posting history to be clear on where my interests lie and that's legitimate potentially useful information for others free of any negative implications?

Thaedydal wrote:

I would ask why you posted about it here and not in PI or not in Humanities
( or not in s&s if you are a subscriber ) ?

Cut & Pasted:
I would till be curious why you think that those who post here what ever thier sexual gender preference would be able inform you more about this ?

Because l/g/b people I've met tend to have a deeper insight into exactly this type of thing so this forum seemed an obvious choice, besides PI never occurred to me as I associate it (perhaps erroneously) with people looking for help rather than just sharing interesting insights and asking pointed questions.

Thaedydal wrote:

Well Thialand being notrious for it's tourist sex trade and for it's ladyboys
I would assume that you would be aware of the situation over there and be more alert. Would you be less worried about that happening here as most irish males would be less dainty ?

Well it's never happened here (afaik!) so yes I'm unconcerned, you could debate this but I think Irelands daintiest guys wouldn't be as dainty as Thailands.

Thaedydal wrote:

Is it the being made a fool of which be the bigger issue or the fact the person was in the end 'male' ?

Being fooled by appearances which could catch the majority of people out is at the opposite end of the spectrum to the common usage of the phrase "being made a fool of", to clarify my post was at the former end, but even were it the latter case which has happened in unrelated spheres it'd be no big deal, I'm confident in myself without being arrogant.

It's not a big deal that the person would turn out to be male either, if I actually went chatting up and so on I'd be miffed at the time wasted but not annoyed at a person who's just hoping to fulfil their needs like anyone else without malice, they have a right to a happy life too and I've compassion for any adversity they may have suffered at the hands of what I agree fully with you is at times an ignorant intolerant society.

People of different or multiple gender preference are blue in the face trying to purge society of intolerance, wouldn't it be a sad irony if some of them were themselves to become intolerant, believing that it's ok against straights for example?

As for your question on gifs for starights, voluntary is fine and we could use our tagline or sig, but I wouldn't support any characteristic as mandatory, I'm sure you'd join me in opposing say, a suggestion that certain posters had to identify themselves with the word "Juden". God bless godwin.

Thaedydal wrote:

I was once 'fooled' by a girl who tought she was at least bisexual if not a lesbian;
oddly enough she changed her mind when I went from just kissing her to first base.
Shame she'd a nice ass.

She fooled herself first, besides the sexual preferance issue that happens in all sorts of areas, our capacity for confusion and self deception yields a personal dimension to the wise words "the price of freedom is eternal vigilance".

melekalikimaka

back on topic...

nope never been fooled...better safe than sorry avoid em all, 95% of em are hookers eiterwho.

shudders

dont even get me started on the whole 'how old they look'

democrates

democrates wrote:

Is it your belief that if I say I'm straight, it follows that I must believe if someone thought I wasn't that I'd lose face or it would tarnish my reputation? That wasn't my motivation at all and isn't my view, I'm with you in rejecting intolerance.

Why should you lose face by posting here? Did someone tell you that? Did you gain that thought subliminably somewhere or are you just insecure and worried about what people think of you?

Can you see that if I go to a boards social event I might like those who know me from my posting history to be clear on where my interests lie and that's legitimate potentially useful information for others free of any negative implications?

Ah it's the latter,I see.
I've little time for people that just know me from my posts and take decisions based on that.
Most of the time on here I'm either reporting or commenting on weather here because I have a weather station and there are people interested in discussing that here. OR I am moderating people on the politics board OR I am playing devils advocate on the politics board because I like to see people flesh out what they think OR I'm doing what people generally do in the pear tree house forum (but thats a secret).

None of those things represent more than maybe 1% of me-though obviously a few more percentages of me and of other posters are divulged on a private forum mailnly because the members there are people you have either met in real life or know a bit about outside of boards.

Anyhow I suggest that you lose the need for reassurance about what people think about you and post what you want in any forum here as long as the charter allows you.
That would be my advice.

democrates

Tristrame wrote:

Why should you lose face by posting here? Did someone tell you that? Did you gain that thought subliminably somewhere or are you just insecure and worried about what people think of you?

democrates wrote:

Can you see that if I go to a boards social event I might like those who know me from my posting history to be clear on where my interests lie and that's legitimate potentially useful information for others free of any negative implications?

Ah it's the latter,I see.

I'm assuming from what you say below that these wrong assumptions in the face of my clarifying the exact opposite is probably a troll.

Tristrame wrote:

I've little time for people that just know me from my posts and take decisions based on that.
Most of the time on here I'm either reporting or commenting on weather here because I have a weather station and there are people interested in discussing that here. OR I am moderating people on the politics board OR I am playing devils advocate on the politics board because I like to see people flesh out what they think OR I'm doing what people generally do in the pear tree house forum (but thats a secret).

None of those things represent more than maybe 1% of me-though obviously a few more percentages of me and of other posters are divulged on a private forum mailnly because the members there are people you have either met in real life or know a bit about outside of boards.

Anyhow I suggest that you lose the need for reassurance about what people think about you and post what you want in any forum here as long as the charter allows you.
That would be my advice.

Way ahead of you, but as I said I'm not arrogant. That's good advice in general though.

Talliesin

The_Minister wrote:

maybe people assume that everyone posting on this forum is gay, unless stated otherwise

I tend to assume that everyone posting here is confident in whatever sexual orientation they have, unless they say something like that.

Anyway, I have a question. Have any TV-admirers here mistaken a biological woman for a ladyboy?

Boston

Welcome democrates.

No I've never mistaken a lady boy for a lady. However I've never had the opportunity to do so. Such a mistake probably wouldn't bother me though. Finding someone attractive because they have feminine features is pretty standard for me, as is finding someone attractive because they have masculine features. That said someone would generally have to display one or the other set of features, I can't see myself liking both.

PS 100% heterosexual, just in case me Ma is reading this.

DublinWriter

Boston wrote:

PS 100% heterosexual, just in case me Ma is reading this.

I do believe the correct spelling here is 'yore ma' or 'yure ma' depending on which side of the Liffey you come from.

Meanwhile, back at the thread...

Boston

Can we get a banning on this guy. Thats three posts in this thread having a go at people. This isn't after hours mate.

DublinWriter

Boston wrote:

Can we get a banning on this guy. Thats three posts in this thread having a go at people. This isn't after hours mate.

If you are referring to me, perhaps you should understand the subtle difference between 'gently ribbing someone' and 'stepping over the line'. It's a central part of the Irish character, last time I checked.

I really think this thread has gone wildly off-topic. I personally admire democrates for his maturity in not being easily baited and his succinctness of argument.

One day, all boardsers will be like him.

Stark

DublinWriter wrote:

I really think this thread has gone wildly off-topic.

It shouldn't take your feeble mind too long to figure out whose fault that is.

I personally admire democrates for his maturity in not being easily baited and his succinctness of argument.

Ah so you're just here for a spot of trolling then. Not that it wasn't obvious before you admit it. Ask to be let back in this time next week if you feel like contributing something useful.

milod

I was 'fooled' once but then I concluded that if he/she was good enough to fool me, then so be it! Naively I didn't even realise he/she was a professional - it wasn't Thailand, but it was a middle eastern location...

I had the time of my life and enjoyed the amazing combination of femininity and a little extra to play with... Oh ****, I nearly forgot the standard disclaimer: "no, really, honestly, I'm usually 100% hetero, I must have been drunk..."

All I can say to the OP is this - if you're attracted to him/her, open your mind and enjoy it - why are you so worried?!

democrates

milod wrote:

I was 'fooled' once but then I concluded that if he/she was good enough to fool me, then so be it! Naively I didn't even realise he/she was a professional - it wasn't Thailand, but it was a middle eastern location...

I had the time of my life and enjoyed the amazing combination of femininity and a little extra to play with... Oh ****, I nearly forgot the standard disclaimer: "no, really, honestly, I'm usually 100% hetero, I must have been drunk..."

All I can say to the OP is this - if you're attracted to him/her, open your mind and enjoy it - why are you so worried?!

I'm happy for you that you discovered a new dimension to your sexuality which you find enjoyable, I respect diversity and it's good when that is reciprocated.

I'm not "so worried" though. As I explained when this extrapolation first arose "my unease is that I'm used to relying on instant recognition". It's like those tv shows where you see a street magician apparently float or something, the onlookers confidence that what they see represents reality is brought into question and you see their reactions. Fine, we can remind ourselves not to be so trusting of our perceptions, but that's all their is to it, no biggie.

Nevyn

democrates wrote:

Is it your belief that if I say I'm straight, it follows that I must believe if someone thought I wasn't that I'd lose face or it would tarnish my reputation? That wasn't my motivation at all and isn't my view, I'm with you in rejecting intolerance.

But should that rejecting of intolerance not include the opression of hetrosexual people who feel they must out themselves ?

democrates wrote:

People of different or multiple gender preference are blue in the face trying to purge society of intolerance, wouldn't it be a sad irony if some of them were themselves to become intolerant, believing that it's ok against straights for example?

I would be of the opinion that pigeon holing people due to thier or thier susposed gender preference is wrong no matter who is doing it.

I have been called a "breeder" due to the fact I have kids and I have been called a traitor due to the fact that I am bisexual and have children.

I would like to think that we strive towards a world where a person's sexual gender preferance is not used to judge a person or to make assumptiona bout them and posting on a lgb forum or having a pint in the george does not mean a damn thing.

democrates wrote:

Can you see that if I go to a boards social event I might like those who know me from my posting history to be clear on where my interests lie and that's legitimate potentially useful information for others free of any negative implications?

So you are posting that your sexual gender preference here so that you may have a better chance with the ladies or for to sure that any of the guys who post here don't try and hit on you ?

democrates wrote:

Well it's never happened here (afaik!) so yes I'm unconcerned, you could debate this but I think Irelands daintiest guys wouldn't be as dainty as Thailands.

I guess that would have to do with race preference, I can think off hand of several men who are friends of mine that would be considered dainty if there were to stand beside women who are friends of mine.

democrates wrote:

Being fooled by appearances which could catch the majority of people out is at the opposite end of the spectrum to the common usage of the phrase "being made a fool of", to clarify my post was at the former end, but even were it the latter case which has happened in unrelated spheres it'd be no big deal, I'm confident in myself without being arrogant.

Ever had the oppsite happen, assume a person was male due thier mode of dress and then find out they were not ?
Would that type of being fooled be less of an issue ?

democrates wrote:

As for your question on gifs for starights, voluntary is fine and we could use our tagline or sig, but I wouldn't support any characteristic as mandatory, I'm sure you'd join me in opposing say, a suggestion that certain posters had to identify themselves with the word "Juden". God bless godwin.

Yes that comment was hyperbolic but time and time again we get posters who don't take part in the forum who just pop in post and state I am not gay or I am straight as if in defense.

I don't see it anywhere else on boards, I don't see I am not a parent in parenting or I am not a christian in paganism.

democrates wrote:

She fooled herself first, besides the sexual preferance issue that happens in all sorts of areas, our capacity for confusion and self deception yields a personal dimension to the wise words "the price of freedom is eternal vigilance".

I certainly don't look back on that as being fooled in a negative way but more of a oh well that was her life lesson, best she learned it when she did with some one who didn't freak out at her and condem her for it.

I think that yes the tell signs of a person's gender when it is unclear or hidden are not that much common knowledge but there are ways to learn about them.

Personally I got the basics form reading books on body language and anatomy
when I was a teen and I am pretty observent. I certainly can see how someone who never looked into such things and well was was busy looking at T&A or admiring someones long hair might miss the signs.

democrates

Thaedydal wrote:

But should that rejecting of intolerance not include the opression of hetrosexual people who feel they must out themselves ?

Absolutely not, that would be oppression of free speech.

Thaedydal wrote:

I would be of the opinion that pigeon holing people due to thier or thier susposed gender preference is wrong no matter who is doing it.

I have been called a "breeder" due to the fact I have kids and I have been called a traitor due to the fact that I am bisexual and have children.

I would like to think that we strive towards a world where a person's sexual gender preferance is not used to judge a person or to make assumptiona bout them and posting on a lgb forum or having a pint in the george does not mean a damn thing.

So you can appreciate what it's like when someone has a go at you for not conforming in all you say or do to their view of what's "right".

As for those who had a go at you, is a bi-basher any better than a gay-basher, or straight-basher for that matter? No need to answer, it's clear they're all wrong and you and your kids have a right to a happy life, it's not too much to ask and you have my support when it comes to voting in constitutional referenda or personally should our paths ever cross.

Thaedydal wrote:

So you are posting that your sexual gender preference here so that you may have a better chance with the ladies or for to sure that any of the guys who post here don't try and hit on you ?

Exactly, simply streamlining potential interactions, and this goes back to the original post, isn't it a simple practical piece of information to know, if someone is likely to pursue or is open to advances?

The last time I stated my sexuality in company was to a gay work colleague of a drinking buddy, I knew in advance he was gay, and we got talking about politics and were having a laugh, he gave me a look, and then I told him I was straight and that I hoped I wasn't inadvertantly giving him the wrong idea, he was totally cool, admitted he was starting to get interested, and congratulated me on being perceptive enough to read him and decent enough to set things right. We remain occasional drinking buddies, there's no artificial divide, I like the guy for who he is.

Thaedydal wrote:

I guess that would have to do with race preference, I can think off hand of several men who are friends of mine that would be considered dainty if there were to stand beside women who are friends of mine.

Fair enough, also there are exceptions to every rule.

Thaedydal wrote:

Ever had the oppsite happen, assume a person was male due thier mode of dress and then find out they were not ?
Would that type of being fooled be less of an issue ?

Never happened that I can recall, but yes it would be less of an issue - false red lights require no action, but a false green light means you may waste some time and put yourself and the other person through a raise hopes/dash hopes disappointment.

Thaedydal wrote:

Yes that comment was hyperbolic but time and time again we get posters who don't take part in the forum who just pop in post and state I am not gay or I am straight as if in defense.

I don't see it anywhere else on boards, I don't see I am not a parent in parenting or I am not a christian in paganism.

Ok well I've seen it on other fora eg politics ("I'm not a fan of Pat Rabbitte but..."), and I've no issue, it's free speech, that's the bottom line for me.

Thaedydal wrote:

I certainly don't look back on that as being fooled in a negative way but more of a oh well that was her life lesson, best she learned it when she did with some one who didn't freak out at her and condem her for it.

I think that yes the tell signs of a person's gender when it is unclear or hidden are not that much common knowledge but there are ways to learn about them.

Personally I got the basics form reading books on body language and anatomy
when I was a teen and I am pretty observent. I certainly can see how someone who never looked into such things and well was was busy looking at T&A or admiring someones long hair might miss the signs.

Ok I just sussed what T&A is on google, and you're right, that's exactly my original point, I thought I had a reliable perception methodology, turned out I was wrong.

As someone else also said, how young they look is another aspect, I think the button noses and elevated upper lip gives them the look of a western early teen even when they're into their twenties.

Anyway, bottom line here is I thought earlier that I was detecting a taboo being created around saying one is straight, but I get that you have your own experience of some really nasty types and consequently you've a finely tuned sensitivitiy to potential hit and run trolls. I hope at this point I've successfully distanced myself from such types, and you realise I'm on your side and wish only the best in life for you.

Isobel

melekalikimaka wrote:

back on topic...

nope never been fooled...better safe than sorry avoid em all, 95% of em are hookers eiterwho.

shudders

dont even get me started on the whole 'how old they look'

95% are hookers? where do you get this from? I'm a quite successful software engineer and for the record I don't look "old" and I'd easily fool you :rolleyes: