A 24 story, continue it on...

Sparky

Then all of a sudden a stealth chopper arrives...

Elmo

And removes elmos signature

Little did they know that the signature knew the where abouts of the top terrorist

Islam Bruchoxvis, a leading islamic/russian spy/terrorist

kaimera

with romantic ties to Spanky-s...

Haven't a Clue

...turns to Spanky and says, rather unorignally: "By the end of the day, the American's will have paid a great price for their years of oppresion on our people."

Following some evil laughing, Bruchoxvis ponders for a moment to see if he can actually think of a better threat. He can't.

Over in the Mojave desert, Jack...

Declan A Walsh

wonders if he will ever get a break from his job. He would like to take a vacation, away from the maddening crowds of L.A. Perhaps, somewhere exotic, he thinks, somewhere far away like Alaska or Hawaii.

As he is pondering all this out loud, a beautifully turned out girl comes over to him and says: "I hear you talking about holidays. Maybe, I could give you a few ideas to chew on. My name is Kathyrn Thomas. I work for R.T.E.".

Jack is just getting ready for a good chew when they are both flung to the ground by a massive explosion, which seems to be coming from...

Kojak

the compression wave eminating from Edgar's chair - he just sat down. :eek:

The Islamic/Russian terrosists aim to use Maurice O'Brien as a sales rep for their new line of hair care products

Dave

"Dammit!" Says Jack, "I was hoping for that job, my hair is far sexier, because..."

Chillwithcian

''Martha logan licked it clean for me after she showed me the phone transcript she and david palmer had concerning a matter of national security just before the basterd was shot... Jesus she had it in her blouse,,,,,, oh god terry what have i done!!!'' Jack screamed

Haven't a Clue

...before Charles Logan said: "She isn't THAT bad. Like, I got the ride of her even when she knew that the stuff I was doing was treason."

Meanwhile, Milo enters the shop to get yet another packet of popcorn. Unknown to him, Jack's after landing outside with his ford something-or-other-jeep-thingy and he looks proper pissed off...

Chillwithcian

Jeasus will you look at that... i thought george mason died on that nucleur bomb plane... why is he at the shop???

Kojak

*tick, tick, tick*

Maurice is at his workstation, when he recieves a call from someone wanting to sell him insurance over the phone

Dave

"Could I interest you in volcano insurance?"

"But we haven't had a volcano in thousands of years here."

"Well, aren't we due one...."

"Touché, I'll take everything that you have, just let me get my...."

Haven't a Clue

Dave wrote:

"Could I interest you in volcano insurance?"

"But we haven't had a volcano in thousands of years here."

"Well, aren't we due one...."

"Touché, I'll take everything that you have, just let me get my...."

:mad:

The 24 story has taken a Family Guy twist...

Dave

nice contribution :rolleyes:

Haven't a Clue

Dave wrote:

nice contribution :rolleyes:

Almost as good as yours...

Tar.Aldarion

said he, in contempt.

Chillwithcian

...as Jack finally went to the toilet for the first time in 6 years...... oooohhhh yeeeaaahhhh

Declan A Walsh

Unfortunately, Jack accidentally drops his mobile in the toilet just before he gets up off the seat.

"Dammit" says Jack and then flushes the toilet.

Meanwhile, Bill is trying to make contact with Jack to let him know that the building has just been surrounded by hostiles working for Fayed.

Meanwhile, the VP standing in for the badly injured President Wayne Palmer is arguing that another Middle East country should be attacked while Tom Lennox (without any of the facial signs he used to have in Ally McBeal) is pleading for sense to prevail.

Meanwhile...

Haven't a Clue

...Milo found the packet of popcorn he lost somewhere in s1.

"AHA!", he proclaimed, "I need that Nadia one no more! I have found my true love again!"

As Bill ordered the resignation papers of Milo, he continued to try and get through to Jack, to no avail. He seeked Chloe's assistance by...

Kojak

starting to send smoke signals from his upstairs office. This immeaditly alerted LA Fire Department who rushed to the scene expecting a blaze.

All they found was "sour puss" chloe reading the newspaper..

Chillwithcian

[Tick, tick, tick, tick]

Cloie sniffs.... hey is that nerve gas in CTU??? (Cough, Cough, chokes and ides)

FX Meister

Suddenly Jack woke up, it had all been a dream.

Sparky

But then JR shot him a kiss


woops, wrong set

DonalN

but who shot JR ???

Sparky

Kim did

Chillwithcian

Kim rang up Jack in confession, Jack was shocked to hear what his daughter had done, he decieded it was all getting too much and decided to turn to the dark side. ''Hey Achmed, do you want me to futher your muslim cause'' ''Sure jack come over to my place and we will chat about it over dinner'' ''that sounds great where are you'' conveniently, the terrorist bases were within 20 mins drive of CTU, how handy though jack.... i can play undercover cop for the day..... he spead off into the night, knowing that his daughter was a monster...:)

meep

meanwhile, at the secure underground bunker that anyone can just walk into (resigned security advisors, presidents sister), the generals are scratching their heads;

"Mr. President, we've been pouring over this map of the middle east and we cannot find any territory labeled 'Fayed's Country'. where should we direct our missiles? Give us a target, goddammit".

The Prez replies; "that's a good question but right now I need you to bring me a softer cushion for my chair and a few vials of adreline; vascular damage be dammed, it's going to be a long night!"

meep

meanwhile, at the secure underground bunker that anyone can just walk into (resigned security advisors, presidents sister), the generals are scratching their heads;

"Mr. President, we've been pouring over this map of the middle east and we cannot find any territory labeled 'Fayed's Country'. where should we direct our missiles? Give us a target, goddammit".

The Prez replies; "that's a good question but right now I need you to bring me a softer cushion for my chair and a few vials of adreline; vascular damage be dammed, it's going to be a long night!"

Chillwithcian

[Tick, tick, tick tock]
Back at CTU audry got into a bit of shiote with Bill Bucanan because she knew what Jack was doing.....

''Ms. Reins, will you come with us into custody, we believe you were helping Jack...we overheard your secure line''

Audrey turned around and stabbed Bill

FX Meister

All of a sudden Jack appeared in a silky robe. He let the robe fall open and all at CTU could see he had his penis tucked between his legs. Jack started to raise his arms and dance.

Chillwithcian

Cloie decided to join in......but bill intervined and turned on the sprinkler systym

Chillwithcian

However the sight of Jacks ding-dong soon stopped them all in their tracks, it looked like.........

Chakar

Chillwithcian wrote:

However the sight of Jacks ding-dong soon stopped them all in their tracks, it looked like.........

Meanwhile the security staff at CTU arrested Jack and forcibly dressed him in the holding room while an nefarious plot was being hatched by a traitor who was hacking into the power system....

Chillwithcian

[The following takes place bewtween 6pm and 7pm...as jack thinks aloud to himself ''im federal agent jack bauer, and this, is the longest day of my life'' this however did not take place on the day of the californian presidental primary]

As jack had time to calm down, he realised that his keycard had been stolen and indeed was bieng used to hack into the computer systym. ''Son of a bitch...dammit''. Now that Jack was 'soft' again he barged his way out onto the floor ''Cloie get me the scematics...lock down the building'' Cloie replied ''Jack...little problem...when you started stripping and bill turned on the sprinklers you knocked out the copmuters here.... im sorry jack but i couldnt resist you....'' Ok cloie just do your best..... Jack races on to mediacl which has been taken over...only to recieve a call from kim........

Declan A Walsh

...Catrell, who plays Samantha in Sex and The City. "I saw your ding-dong and you're just the man I need for a couple of hours a night. You could please me in ways only a CTU operative could".

However, as Jack was just getting cosy, he got a call on his mobile. The id said it was from David Palmer, but that was impossible because David was dead. The voice at the other end was in fact...

Jesus Wept

Dale Winton ... "I saw your ding-dong and you're just the man I need for a couple of hours a night. You could please me in ways only a CTU operative could".

'Well', Jack answered... '...

Chillwithcian

''I suppose I could be gay just for one night...but what will kim think of me...??'' :eek:

Chillwithcian

MMMMMMM.....

Sparky

Then along came the forums 3000th post since its creation back on the 24th January 2006 @ 11:03
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=50755327&postcount=1

Happy 3000th post.

Kojak

Jack was in a mood to celebrate, so he rang Barney the Dinosaur to come and sing a few tunes at CTU.

But on the way to CTU, Barney was captured by Columbian drug smugglers who Barney had cheated out of $2 million, 5 years ago.

Jack gets the call with the ransom demands....

Haven't a Clue

...Jack picked up the phone and heard Barney muttering something he thought he'd never hear:

"Jack, I don't love you, you don't love me, we're not even a ****ing family."

Jack went on one of his Teri/Tony/end of s3 emotional breakdowns before listening to the ransom demands which were...

Kiith

...a pack of Burbon biscuits, a little plastic rocket, and a pony in exchange for the hostages release. Jack...

Chillwithcian

Sang...sesame street

Chillwithcian

And look who came back like a miricale escape into her daddy arms to join the party....forget the burbon biscuts...mmmmm....

Kojak

When the Columbian drug-smugglers recieved their bourbon biscuits, they discovered to their horror that they were, in fact, Chocolate Goldgrain. The leader of the smugglers became enraged, and cut off one of Barney's fingers and posted it to Jack Bauer and the gang at CTU.

Jack, upon recieveing the package, shouts "Damn it" and Chloe puts a bold face on herself.

Barney recieves one more phone-call, and he rings buchanan at CTU.

Barney says....

Chillwithcian

...Jack...I challenge you to a Duel.....

aidan_dunne

Jack replied, "Fair enough then, ya big purple príck! How we gonna do this then? Tomorrow morning in the park?"

"Sure. How does the classic pistols at dawn sound?", asks Barney.

"Sounds fine to me", replies Jack. "Besides, I like to do my killing before breakfast anyway."

"Really?", replied Barney. "Because so do I, asshole! And you're the one who'll be going down tomorrow." With that, he hung up.

Dawn, the next morning, and Barney was standing in a local park waiting for Jack to show up. Jack nonchalauntly (sp?) comes walking out from behind some trees.

Barney shouts out, "So, you ready to do this then...... beatch?", laughing mockingly at Jack. He doesn't reply, he just keeps on walking towards Barney calmly, showing no emotion at all. Barney then suddenly notices that Jack appears to be unarmed and decides to take swift advantage of the situation. He pulls out his 18 century-style pistol and aims it at Jack ordering him to, "Stop right there. You didn't really think I was going to just let you try and shoot me in a fair duel, did you? It was always my intention to shoot you first before you even had a chance to blink. And seeing how it looks like you came unarmed, it seems I really do have the upper hand here now, doesn't it?" A sneery grin spreads across his face as he says to Jack, "Say hello to Terri for me!", and he pulls the trigger.

However, Jack ducks and Barney's shot misses wildly. "Ah shít!", exclaims Barney. "Never mind, I got plenty more lead shot and gunpowder where that came from, bitch!", and he starts to reload.

Just then, Jack reached behind his back and pulled out two Heckler & Koch USP Compact 9mm pistols....... his personal favourites! "Oh....... shít!", muttered Barney. "Hey, come on man, that's a bit unfair, isn't it?", Barney said pleadingly to Jack.

Jack replied, "Well, you did say "pistols at dawn", didn't you? You never said what kind of pistols, though, or how many, did you?"

"Ah, come on, man! You knew what I meant. I meant like this old piece of crap I've got here! Hey, what you say we just drop the guns and duke it out mano-e-mano, eh? Give a dinosaur a chance, whatdya say?", Barney pleaded to Jack.

"You weren't going to give me a chance to begin with so why should I?", Jack scowled back. "Oh, by the way, nobody calls me bitch!" And with that Jack came running toward Barney, duel-weilding his USP's and unloaded two whole clips into him. With Barney lying dead in a massive pool of his own blood, Jack stood over him and whispered, "I always preferred Sesame Street!"

Just then, his cellphone rang. Jack didn't recognise the number so he answered, "Hello, who's this?" The voice on the other end said, "It's.............

Kojak

Big Bird. I heard you always liked pir show, and I was wondering if you would be interested in doing a walk-on part on the show. You would have to dress up like a giant marshmallow."

Jack ponders the idea of him in a marshmallow suit for a minute.

*cue ticking clock* tick, tick, tick.

Meanwhile, chloe has heard of Jack's offer through an NSA satellite, and immeaditly tells Buchanan of her ground-breaking discovery.

She screams,....

Sparky

holy sh1t...

Chillwithcian

Jack...Its Alberta Green...you get your focking ass back to CTmoo this instant...tell that bird to stuff his feathers where the sun dont shine...cloies tracking you on brandwith so dont try anything stupid!