Whats the laziest act your guilty of commiting?

Blowfish

Nunu wrote:

I once put the tv in my room on its side so I could watch it lying side down! (all the colours started bleeding into each other...nearly fooked the tv up)

I do that all of the time with my laptop. It makes games quite interesting. I actually spent 2 solid weeks in that position over the summer, helped by having both a fridge and kettle beside the bed. I also at that time made great use of an empty 2 litre bottle I found there.

I have to say, when it comes down to it, it requires great ingenuity and creativity to become a master at laziness.

[edit] Oh I also wrote a program to shut down my PC for me, and mapped it to one of the unused multimedia keys on my keyboard, thus cutting down the number of keypresses needed from 3 down to 1.

homerjk

Hagar wrote:

Brother Homerjk while I admire your ingenuity I urge caution in the future. Those wheelie bins are treacherous bastards and could easily roll out from under you in mid-shyte leaving you hurtling to the carpet with an un-detached log as the only thing to break your fall. Not a pretty outcome. Have a care.

Fear not Brother Hagar, it was a standard issue household swing bin. Which is in fact the perfect height for dropping the kids off.

Beetlebum

I am the Queen....uh, I mean King...ahem...of lazziness....

If I'm comfortable watching something on tv but I have to go to the toilet, I wait until I'm in pain before dragging my sorry ass to the toilet.

If dishes have been sitting out for days and look like they'd take huge effort to scrub, I just throw them in the bin. The same applies to dirty clothes.

Had leftover curry in the fridge the other night but was too lazy and impatient to put it in the microwave so I just ate it cold even though it didn't taste nrealy as good.

I've never ironed a piece of clothing in my life, in fact, I'm not sure if I even own one.

If my cigarettes are on the table and I want one, I bang the table with my foot so the cigarettes bounce onto my lap, saves me having to lean forward...

dr.bollocko

I have had bedsores for the last week and a half.
Its ok though.
One sort of opened a bit of skin at my elbow, and I have discovered that I can use this now available flap of bone to open bottles of beer with. So dont believe the **** you hear about bedsores being dangerous. Now if my muscles could just stop atrophying I could get some more beer...... Mmmmmm... atrophy.

pred racer

I once watched an entire episode of coronenders close coz the remote was on top of the tv:p

Will

Didnt clean my apartment for 6months - made an exchange with a wiimen - she cleaned my apartment, i opend a few jars for her. Of course she had to bring the jars to my place and clean around me, theres still a patch of dirt where i lay. Considering ringing her but well thatd be effort.

Before I go out on the beer, I kick a bucket in the general area of my bed. When I come home and if the stomach is a churning all i gotta do is move my head to the left and hope the stuff hits its target.

I have a remote for my laptop doest need explaining
Ive almost 2months of washing to do, i got my mate to pick me up some socks while he was out. Too lazy to open the packaging.
Few days ago I had a naked day, didnt bother dressing myself.

Thats all i can think of now, theres been plenty more just cant remember them

Green_Martian

I have done the oold taking a leak while having asmoke in the back garden, killing 2 birds with 1 stone.............

Have also rang my mother from my bedroom to ask what was for dinner, and also to have a cup of tea sent up.

Another bit of laziness i do sometimes is, when im in the gf's house and i have my feet up on the table and the remote is on the table out of arms reach.......i keep looking at her till she looks at me and nod towards the remote, if she does not look for awhile i try the odd cough to get her attention and if that fail a txt will be sent............only if the ph is in my hand

Duff

Brothers, this is my first post!

Here goes,
I often urinate out the bed room window after a night on the tear as the toilet is all the way across the landing, sad thing is the our garage is underneath the bedroom window and the roof leaks. Wont have to go into the garage untill the summer so itll be grand. The window also never closes as their is nearly empty glasses of milk on my window-sill that have gone sour and are there about 2 weeks and i need the window constantly open to get rid of the smell..jus yesterday i was sitting watching tv and the light was on, i was sittin right beside it but ofcourse being a man and not a whipped bitch i made the wommin who was the farside of the room get up and turn it off! havent heard from her since though..

Anyway thats all i can think off for now.

EDIT: brother homerjk, u deserve a trophy,medal and an award! A True inspiration to men countrywide!

Hagar

This is a true story Brethern..

A friend of of mine who shall remain nameless went on the jar one Saturday night and as was his wont he over indulged on the Black Stuff. During the night he felt the impending liquid hiccup. With dimmed brain but not dimmed wits he grabbed a nearby plastic bag and gave the auld technicolour yawn into the Dunnes' Stores briefcase. He couldn't put it down so in a moment of inspiration he put it on a hanger and hung it up in the wardrobe. Next morning he woke up with a vague recollection of the Hughie Green's but could find no evidence of the event, so he summized that it was all a bad dream and prepared for Sunday morning FCA training. After getting washed and shaved he went to the aforementioned wardsrobe to get his uniform and found the offending bag on a hanger. He got dressed and was about to carry the bag downstairs to the bin when he heard his ma calling him from the bottom of the stairs. In a panic he swirled the bag around a few times and let it fly out of the landing window. He proceeded down the stairs and just as he got to the bottom there was a knock at the door. Standing there was man with a bicycle in his Sunday best, bicycle clips and all, covered from head to toe in a vile smelling coating of puke...

trout

This story I tell thee is true Brethren ...

An acquaintance was on the lash in Dublin city centre ... and being replete with Beer Gut and Receeding Hairline, he 'pulled' just before closing time. When he tells the story, he says the lady was not bad looking at all, and she lived in a flat above the pub ... handy or what ?

So ... the two young (ish) people are getting frisky, and nature begins to take it's course, when the lady, very sensibly demands a condom is produced before matters proceeded. As it happened, our hero was not equipped, and was fortright in saying so.

The young lady, in a mature and sensible fashion, commendable in the heat of the moment, advised our hero that there was a condom machine in the gents loo of the pub, three flights below ... and loose change could be found in the bowl beside the phone ... whatta gal.

So, our hero ponders for a moment, and then says "nah ... yer allright", rolls over and proceeds to fall asleep.

This is his world Brothers, we just live in it.

Blowfish

That is outstanding I am suprised however that he managed to survive the night, usually the wimmins don't take kindly to that sort of thing.

Hagar

A hero, a true hero Brother Trout.

trout

Blowfish wrote:

That is outstanding I am suprised however that he managed to survive the night, usually the wimmins don't take kindly to that sort of thing.

No need to be surprised Brother Blowfish ... the young lady was just as pleased to spoon and bask in the reflected glory of having scored ... as far as her friends were concerned, she had snared a real live walking talking gutbarger.

What Brother could understand wimmin and their wily ways

Zaph

Not laziness in itself, but adherence to these rules will go a long way to achieving the nirvana-like state of bone-idleness:

1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.
2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.
3. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.
4. I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.
5. I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.
6. I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.
7. I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle, though infinitesmally small, is not exactly zero.
8. If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.
9. I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
10. I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.
11. I obey the law of inverse excuses which demands that the greater the task to be done, the more insignificant the work that must be done prior to beginning the greater task.
12. I know that the work cycle is not plan/start/finish, but is wait/plan/plan.
13. I will never put off until tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.
14. I love deadlines. Especially the whooshing sounds they make as they fly by.
15. I will become a member of "Procrastinators United" if I ever get around to it...

I haven't bothered to leave the house since I got back from the pub Saturday night. Got out of bed at half eight Sunday evening, and have been too lazy to go to bed since. Going to sleep is too much effort, although I did catch a half hour in the armchair last night about half four.

Burning Eclipse

For a period of 2 years I never washed socks or underwear... I wore them to death, then threw them out and bought really cheap bulk packs in penneys... If that disgusts, this is the wrong forum!

I get my hair cut only when my wimmin folk complains that I need to enough to warrant it.

I haven't had a wet shave in 4 years this summer, electric all the way, and even them, only when it becomes bothersome.

I've been on Boards every week day since joining but my post-count is so low because i'm too lazy to post... This forum will change that though!!

I gave in and watched the match in bed yesterday evening. Had two free tickets to the Laughter Lounge but it was too much effort to get back out of bed so I let them go to waste.

padser

Came back in plastered one night (being a poor student I had spent most of the night robbing unguarded pints) and was almost asleep when I realised that i needed to get sick.

There was no Dunnes Stores bag available, just the floor so i leaned out of the bed slightly and let rip.

After about 10 seconds (in my extremely drunken state) I thought to myself 'Oh no its full up, what will I do' (to this day I have no idea why or what I thought was 'full up') so I stopped getting sick for roughly 5 seconds and turned around and got sick over the other side of the bed.

I woke up the next morning to two little neat piles of vomit on either side of me!

imeddyhobbs

Am i the only one that pisses into an empty beer can?

matrim

I haven't been bothered to shave for about 3 months, because it's too much effort.

A couple of years ago I grew my hair long because I could never be bothered to go get it cut.

When I was in college I used to live about a 25 minute walk away. There was also a bus route to the college about a 5 minute walk away from my house. But when I had to go in and was feeling lazy, I would get the bus from outside my door to town, then change to a bus that went to the college, even though it took me about an hour.