Didn't think (a poem wrote yesterday)

Jacinta

Here is something I wrote yesterday scribbling at my desk in work...

Didn’t think

Didn’t think you told them,
Thought I was the secret past
Confined to the memories
The yesterday
The fun
Anything that could never -
Last.

Guess I feel a little chuffed
That somehow I meant that much
More than I ever knew
I had your heart
Wish you told me –
Too.

Still smiling ‘bout the antics
The words you told to him
Didn’t think you did confide
Now everything I never missed
Drifts slowly through the recent past
And leads me back again to
You.

In my head again
Smiling on my face
I was someone special
Someone I never knew
I had your heart
You had my head
Don’t really know what happened…. –
Guess that love can’t wait forever,
Guess I lost the race.
Can see there is no winner
‘Cos you’re a looser too.
Just wish I knew the somebody,
Who had my heart,
But man –
I knew you.

NJR.

don.juanito

nice.:)

Jacinta

Thanks Don. Appreciate your Feedback, its a simple little poem.

oceallaigh

..completely ruined by the bad grammar in the title - a poem WRITTEN yesterday.

Jacinta

oceallaigh wrote:

..completely ruined by the bad grammar in the title - a poem WRITTEN yesterday.

Not one for the detail... Sorry... Thanks -Jac

deadendxgirl

I like it

stevejazzx

Jacinta wrote:

Here is something I wrote yesterday scribbling at my desk in work...

Didn’t think

Didn’t think you told them,
Thought I was the secret past
Confined to the memories
The yesterday
The fun
Anything that could never -
Last.

Guess I feel a little chuffed
That somehow I meant that much
More than I ever knew
I had your heart
Wish you told me –
Too.

Still smiling ‘bout the antics
The words you told to him
Didn’t think you did confide
Now everything I never missed
Drifts slowly through the recent past
And leads me back again to
You.

In my head again
Smiling on my face
I was someone special
Someone I never knew
I had your heart
You had my head
Don’t really know what happened…. –
Guess that love can’t wait forever,
Guess I lost the race.
Can see there is no winner
‘Cos you’re a looser too.
Just wish I knew the somebody,
Who had my heart,
But man –
I knew you.

NJR.

The parts I highlighted I think aren't working. 'bout the antics' sounds very loose, doesn;t seem to hold the mood of the rest of the poem. 'chuffed' again is a bit too simple an expression.
Lovely poem and very nice ending. I also like the one word finishing lines of verses one and two they really highlight the feeling running through the poem.

Jacinta

Thanks Folks for all the feedback. I really appreciate it. I think the poem still needs a little bit of editing. Its quite personal so I wanted to keep it casual and simple.

Thanks,
- Jac.