Keeping A Child Back At School

G&T

will try to keep this short and to the point

relocating this year,small village to big town.
son born jan 96 due to go into 6th class.
am worried as he will then only have one year in new school before moving to another new school(secondary).
his new school will have twice the no. of pupil's at his current school.


any advice welcome

gubby

You know your child best.. do you have to decide right now? wait to see how he gets on. perhaps he will make some brilliant new friends and will want to move on to secondary school with them. thats my tuppence worth. and remember rule no 1 find out what he wants to do. I am a granny and I reared 5 children. Its not till years later they will tell you "I hated my school" or " I am so glad you let go to that school"

Crea

It really depends on how sociable the child is. If he's really outgoing then the chances are he'll have friends made by Christmas. If he isn't then he may need the extra year.
It is a big change for him and i can see where you're coming from. As Gubby says you'll have a fair idea yourself what's best.

Trinity

Have you discussed it with him at all? How does he feel about it?

Being held back is not unusual and academically can be very beneficial to the child. And as hes only 11, gives him an extra year of primary as the secondary curriculum can be very different and more demanding. They have to grow up a bit quicker in secondary!

However only having one year in the new school can have its advantages as well, particularly if he doesnt like it

And depending on where you are moving to maybe a lot of kids in his class maybe going to different schools anyway (depending on if there is a lot of choice available to them, i know my class in primary scattered all over dublin when we went into secondary and only a few stayed local.

All he needs are one or two good friends anyway and i am sure he will make those in the early days of joining the new school.

BoozyBabe

I don't really see why you'd want to keep him back a year?

What benefit would he get?
If you keep him back in order to make friends, chances are he'll be making friends within his year (6th class)
If you keep him back, all those friends will have moved on to secondary, & he'll be left making new friends with those a year below him.
(Unless you plan to move him into 5th class immediately)

Is he bright? Or do you think he might struggle?

When he moves to secondary, he's going to make a bunch of new friends anyway.
I didn't stay friends with any of my primary school mates when I went to secondary. (Well, we were friends, but didn't hang around together)
Also, I don't know who secondary schools work everywhere else, but in mine there were all different grades of class & depending on how well you did in entrance exams, you were placed in a class accordingly so your class mates would be at the same capability as yourself.

As it turned out, I was placed in a different class than all my primary school friends, so I had to make new friends anyway.

I really don't see how keeping him back will benefit him, but I guess only you & him know best.

But I would ask him the question instead of forcing a decision on him, made by you on his behalf.

Kildrought

You would need to check w. the school also - they may not be willing to have him repeat 5th class.

Dept of Ed guidelines (search their site and you'll find the circular) recommend 3rd and 4th class if a child is to repeat.

luckat

Another factor: talk to the teachers about the 'personality' of the two classes.

My son was in a class that had a very easy ride through primary school, because they followed on a class that was known as the demon class.

I taught here and there for a few years and always noticed that every class formed a kind of group personality - they might be cynical, helpful, creative, bored, or whatever.

If the 6th class you're thinking of putting him into is the demon class, maybe you should choose the 5th class, or vice versa. Especially as probably some of the same kids will be in school with him in second level.

laura l

If he found 5th class difficult academically at his old school it might be no harm for him to repeat 5th.
However if it's the more social aspect you're worried about and he has no problems with his schoolwork let him go into 6th class at the new school and see how he gets on. He can always repeat 6th class after.

CrazyRabbit

Kids make friends quite easily in most cases, although those friendships are not always the 'life-long' type. I don't think there would be any problem with him being in the school for only 1 year before changing again. Not unless he was a very shy kid.

There are also disadvantages to repeating a year. It may be very boring for him to cover topics he has already learned and could lead him to become disinterested in learning. It can also be a knock to his self confidence being kept back a year. And I think most kids look forward to moving into 6th class from 5th class etc. It's gives then a sense of progress and achievement.

I'd suggest you listen to what he thinks, but I'm guessing he won't want to stay back a year.

melekalikimaka

i was kept back in 1st class, due to missing half a year due to travelling with the rents and arriving in ireland with no grasp of irish, it happens quite alot, your concern must stem from somewhere, is he a quiet kid? i can't see why he needs be held back, alot from his primary will be moving to his secondary assuming its the local would they not?

nesf

Whatever you do don't hold him back a year for social reasons if he finds the academic side of things easy. It would be cruel and unusual to hold back a kid who's good academically. On the flip side if he isn't be best academically then an extra year might help him a lot further down the line by giving him a better foundation to build from.

Either way be honest in appraising your child's abilities in this area, it's easy to fall into the trap of thinking your little boy is a genius but it'd be better for both of you if you are realistic about it.