Annoying Female Traits

Pepe LeFrits

eo980 wrote:

Complaining their feet are sore in high heels - 'why did you wear them in the first place?'

Ahhhhh!

Of course, asking this question gets your head biten off. Also, pointing out the impracticality of 'fabulous' cashmere(?) gloves that can't be cleaned gets a similar reaction.

zynaps

Yeah, that's funny. Most women want guys that are much taller than themselves... for whatever reason (rules me out, which simplifies things), but then when they go out, maybe they feel silly because their boyfriend strains his neck leaning down to kiss/talk to them, so they wear high heels? One of those self-causing problems...

tbh

irishbird wrote:

oh degsy, i love it when you get all masterful, there my tits are out for you

watch you don't step on them there.

stovelid

Most annoying trait:

Myself: I'm ordering Chinese/buying snacks etc. Do you want some?

Wife: No, I'm grand.

Myself: Are you sure?

Wife: Yes.

Myself: *Munch*

Wife: Can I have a taste?

:mad: :mad: :mad:

Edit: Just read Kenny 5's post. Sorry man.

Kinetic^

stovelid wrote:

Edit: Just read Kenny 5's post. Sorry man.

Lollers, tis cool man, just good to know that other brothers out there are affected by the thing!!!

cance

"you should have known that meant..."

singularly the worst trait in a female...

"hey babe, tidying? want a hand?"
"no thanks... /sigh"
"are you sure? want me to take the bins out?"
"no thanks, its fine"
"you sure??"
"yeah, no probs"

10 mins later i get the stink eye as i watch the tv minding my own business.

"O.o stink eye, whats that for"
"i had to tidy the sitting room on my own!!"
"but you said you didnt need a hand and its fine?"
"you should have known that meant..."

SPEAK ENGLISH! IM NOT A F*CKING MIND READER YOU BINT! :mad:

MOTHERTRUCKER

How about when your both going somewhere in the car, you park the car hop out, close your door and are left standing there for about 10 minutes looking through the window as she:
looks for her phone,
re-applies lip gloss,
re-applies make up,
checks her hair,
looks for her cigs,
puts everything in her bag,

and then decides she's ready to get out of the car :mad:

Why is it so hard to say OK we're ten minutes away from arriving, i better get my sh1t together so i can get out of the car straight away.

Am I the only one

pclancy

MOTHERTRUCKER wrote:

and then decides she's ready to get out of the car :mad:

Doesnt it make it madder when she, usually through no fault of her own, slams the door way to hard?

The main thing that annoys me about women is....


HOW THE HELL CAN THEY REMEMBER EVERY CONVERSATION YOU EVER HAD AND BRING UP STUFF YOU SAID WEEKS/MONTHS/YEARS AGO! HOW? HOOOOOW?

ahem.

excuse me, it just amazes me the way they can remember everything you've ever said. I dont remember what i said ten minutes ago!

Kinetic^

pclancy wrote:

excuse me, it just amazes me the way they can remember everything you've ever said. I dont remember what i said ten minutes ago!

It was probably "get me a beer wimmin" so if you ain't got one in hand.....crack the whip brother!!!

Bazzy

My missus wouldnt get me a beer once................ I dont really like to talk about it.

We now call it "The Incident" hasnt happened since thank god

The Ritz

Brothers,

All this perverse female behavioural stuff (the inability to pick their own food for a take-away, findingtheir arse superglued to the seat of the car once you've arrived anywhere, telling you "It's OK, I'll do it" only for you to find out ten minutes later that the true meaning was lost in translation....etc etc....) pales into insignificance when compared to the wonderful revenge of nature known as Premeditated Mental Torture...... NOW we're talking annoying, when you settle down with Nigella Lawson and wake up to Nell MacCaferty........

Ritz.

Degsy

What about when you go shopping with a woman,thinking against all reason that it wont turn into an excruciating excercise in dithering.As you sit there with your face in your hands,she holds up two almost identical items of clothing and says "which one will i get?"..you want to get the hell out of there and home to your fridge full of beer so you say "that one",pointing at neither in particular.Then she says "well whats wrong weith this one?" holding up the other.After the assitant comes over and they blither between them for half an hour,pausing to give you the occasional dirty look, she eventually decides to buy them both.One year later and neither of them have ever been worn!

MOTHERTRUCKER

Degsy wrote:

What about when you go shopping with a woman,thinking against all reason that it wont turn into an excruciating excercise in dithering.As you sit there with your face in your hands,she holds up two almost identical items of clothing and says "which one will i get?"..you want to get the hell out of there and home to your fridge full of beer so you say "that one",pointing at neither in particular.Then she says "well whats wrong weith this one?" holding up the other.After the assitant comes over and they blither between them for half an hour,pausing to give you the occasional dirty look, she eventually decides to buy them both.One year later and neither of them have ever been worn!

Stop. Intruder!
You belong to the hen pecked forum.

What Brother goes clothes shopping with the wimmen.
I suppose your sitting there with your head in your hands wearing a pink shirt with white pants on.
Whipppppish :eek:

Degsy

MOTHERTRUCKER wrote:

Stop. Intruder!
You belong to the hen pecked forum.

What Brother goes clothes shopping with the wimmen.
I suppose your sitting there with your head in your hands wearing a pink shirt with white pants on.
Whipppppish :eek:

How DARE you sir?This is an observation culled from years of experience.
Degsy does not shop with women,nor does he shop with men.
Confounded cheek!

Kinetic^

Brother Degsy, we shall give you the benefit this time but try not to scare us with that sort of blasphemy.

rediguana

Degsy wrote:

What about when you go shopping with a woman,thinking against all reason that it wont turn into an excruciating excercise in dithering.As you sit there with your face in your hands,she holds up two almost identical items of clothing and says "which one will i get?"..you want to get the hell out of there and home to your fridge full of beer so you say "that one",pointing at neither in particular.Then she says "well whats wrong weith this one?" holding up the other.After the assitant comes over and they blither between them for half an hour,pausing to give you the occasional dirty look, she eventually decides to buy them both.One year later and neither of them have ever been worn!

Okay, I admit. The events you (painfully) described make me lose the will to continue breathing when I'm the hapless one in BT or House of Fraser.

The Ritz

the hapless one in BT or House of Fraser

.


The WHAT ??????

Why don't you go the whole hog and wear a feckin' dress and be done with it.



Ritz.

Degsy

The Ritz wrote:

.


The WHAT ??????

Why don't you go the whole hog and wear a feckin' dress and be done with it.



Ritz.

I agree.Somebody ban this ladyboy!

rediguana

Relax - I beat her then once we get home.

Degsy

rediguana wrote:

Relax - I beat her then once we get home.

I bet you didnt,i bet she made you shave her legs when you got home.Then she told you to do the dishes when she went galivanting with other men.

xebec

Degsy wrote:

I bet you didnt,i bet she made you shave her legs when you got home.Then she told you to do the dishes when she went galivanting with other men.

rediguana

xebec wrote:

Why don't you and Degsy get a room and then spend the afternoon giving it to each other?

The Ritz

Brothers,

All hold on a minute...... If Brother Rediguana will attest to no further haplessness in the aforementioned places for wimmin, then I think the benefit of the doubt should be bestowed and we should get back to giving out etihs about annoying female traits......

What say you ?

Ritz

The Hill Billy

The Ritz wrote:

Brothers,

All hold on a minute...... If Brother Rediguana will attest to no further haplessness in the aforementioned places for wimmin, then I think the benefit of the doubt should be bestowed and we should get back to giving out etihs about annoying female traits......

What say you ?

Ritz

Try that again without quite so many syllables & we'll tell you.

The Ritz

Hill Billy,

Here you go,





Ritz.

Sleepy

Asking for a 'glass' of beer thus making you look like a nonce when getting your round in when you deign to take her out for the night*

*you know, like, for her birthday should you happen to remember it...

Sangre

The menstrual cycle

Degsy

Sleepy wrote:

Asking for a 'glass' of beer thus making you look like a nonce when getting your round in when you deign to take her out for the night*

*you know, like, for her birthday should you happen to remember it...

A girl i was dating asked me to get her a "martini with white lemonade" in a pub in talbot street!!I felt like a sex-offender or something.Suffice it to say,i kicked her to the curb in record time.

matrim

Degsy wrote:

What about when you go shopping with a woman,thinking against all reason that it wont turn into an excruciating excercise in dithering.As you sit there with your face in your hands,she holds up two almost identical items of clothing and says "which one will i get?"..you want to get the hell out of there and home to your fridge full of beer so you say "that one",pointing at neither in particular.Then she says "well whats wrong weith this one?" holding up the other.After the assitant comes over and they blither between them for half an hour,pausing to give you the occasional dirty look, she eventually decides to buy them both.One year later and neither of them have ever been worn!

Shame on you brother degsy. Not only did you go clothes shopping with her, but you forgot the important rule if wimmin ask you about their choice of clothes. The answer should have been that she wear \ get the one that shows the most cleavage.

Why don't you go the whole hog and wear a feckin' dress and be done with it.

Originally Posted by Degsy
I bet you didnt,i bet she made you shave her legs when you got home.Then she told you to do the dishes when she went galivanting with other men

Why don't you and Degsy get a room and then spend the afternoon giving it to each other?

Brothers, brothers... look what they're doing to us. Evil, filthy witches.. don't let them cast their spells of hate. We must all remain on the same side.

po0k

The Ritz wrote:

Hill Billy,

Here you go,





Ritz.

Brevity is the soul of wit.

WhiteWashMan

has anyone mentioned the classic argument in 'the breakup' with jennifer aniston and vince vaughan?

the 'i want you to want to do the dishes' argument?

i dont want you to tdo the dishes, i want you to want to do the dishes

who the **** wants to do dishes? make sense crazy lady.

The Hill Billy

SyxPak wrote:

Brevity is the soul of wit.

If that is so, it appears that he has since managed to regurgitate this.

The Sweeper

I lose this argument every time.

I want WWMan to do the dishes. I don't care whether or not he wants to do the dishes. I just want him to do them. But see, he shouldn't "have to do something he doesn't want to do". (Because then see I'd have to actually turn something out on steak-anna-blowjob day.)

The upshot?

If we leave the dishes, and there are no dishes left in the house and they're all dirty:

WWMan will buy paper plates.

WhiteWashMan

score.

Kinetic^

Brother WWM, I fear for you.......I think you should sign up for the "BGRH crash course in wimmin control"..........never will you have to buy paper plates again!!!!

WhiteWashMan

less washing up means she can get back to blowing me quicker.

perhaps it is not i that need the course?

DaBreno

Shopping. It might just be a list of three items but the warning bells sound when one of them is "can only be got" in Marks and Spencers. Queue a magical mystery tour of said shop where we seem to aquire everything Except what we went in for! And M&S(which shares a lot of characteristics with S&M) is usually in some sort of shopping center so "while were here", we might as well just have a quick(pfffftttt) look at about only a dozen other shops. Not buying anything, just looking. I only came out to coz I thought we would be ten minutes! Theres a game starting on TV!!

*Wipes froth from mouth

Kinetic^

WhiteWashMan wrote:

less washing up means she can get back to blowing me quicker.

perhaps it is not i that need the course?

Brother WWM, I do understand where you are cumming from (:p) but one feels that you should never let your wimmin away with not doing her duties.......it still has to be done, so why not post haste?

Discipline is the key here brother!!

Nevyn

Deleted User wrote:

Brothers, brothers... look what they're doing to us. Evil, filthy witches.. don't let them cast their spells of hate. We must all remain on the same side.

Pff men would be scared of witches for witches were siad to curse thier manhood and make it shrivel up.
It was not that they held such powars but that the men they 'cursed' would not
dare declare thier manhoods where shriveled up before hand.

Slow Motion

DaBreno wrote:

Shopping. I only came out to coz I thought we would be ten minutes! Theres a game starting on TV!!

*Wipes froth from mouth

Rookie mistake brother, rookie mistake !:p

MarkR

• Walking in front of the tv
• Being "fine" (liars)
• Complaining about the dirty toilet. Not my fault the flush isn't powerful enough!
• Being hungry but not being able to decide what they want to eat.
• Crying - doesn't mean you win. Means you're better at crying

ntlbell

Her: Oh it's a corner!!
ME: No, It's a free kick.

her: PNEALTY!
ME: No, It's a throw in.

Her: He's offside!
ME: No, he's a ball boy.

Her: So are they still ahead of chelsea
ME: No, this is the champions league.

Her: so does that yellow card carry on to the league?
Me: No, it's a friendly international.

F*CK F*CKING OFF AND LET ME WATCH THE F*CKING MATCH.

Her: You're always watching football, two hours of fecking football.
Me: Let's see Emerdale,Corri,Eastender's Monday night double Corri omni bus of all of the above on the weekends. that's about 20 hours of soaps a week 80 hours a f*cking month!!!! 4 matches a month = 6 hours?

F*ck off.

They do it on purpose.

giddyup

I'm surprised nobody has mentioned....after going out for a lads only night and she asks...

(i)"so how's Dave's wife/kids/mother"
(ii)"is Dave engaged yet"
(iii)"did Mary (Dave's wife/gf) have the baby yet"
(iv)"did Dave have that life-saving kidney transplant yet"

...and when I answer "to be honest, I didn't really ask him"...and she says "so wtf were you talking about for 7 hours that kept you out until 4.30 with the lettuce and doner sauce all over your jacket"

and the look on her face when I tell her..."well, if you really want to know, friendly fire in Iraq, spice burgers, maurice pratt, the cricket, hairlines, steaks, a log cabin in Cavan, some company that sells muck to crazy Americans, Texan bars, the lounge girl (ok that's a lie), and a few other things of less importance".

Sam Vimes

cance wrote:

"you should have known that meant..."

SPEAK ENGLISH! IM NOT A F*CKING MIND READER YOU BINT! :mad:

QFT.

MarkR wrote:

• Being "fine" (liars)

QFT again. why can't she just say what's wrong with her now? why do i have to wait while she mopes for an hour and then tells me?


and how whenever she's tired or sick or has prehistoric monster syndrome she suddenly notices all the glaringly obvious problems with our relationship. after 2 and a half years she still can't make connection between feeling like there's a rusty hanger in her uterus and thinking i've done something wrong

Kinetic^

Sleepy wrote:

Seeing no wrong in their friends actions whatsoever.

I think this has to be quoted again........stupid stupid wimmin :rolleyes:

John Mason

how about male friends who make plans with you and then cancel at the last minute because their girlfriends want them to do DIY? especially when you have turned down a date in the first place:mad:

smashey

irishbird wrote:

how about male friends who make plans with you and then cancel at the last minute because their girlfriends want them to do DIY? especially when you have turned down a date in the first place:mad: (you know who you are)

Terrible behaviour. The girlfriends should do the DIY and let the man go ouy.

jester77

irishbird wrote:

how about male friends who make plans with you and then cancel at the last minute because their girlfriends want them to do DIY? especially when you have turned down a date in the first place:mad: (you know who you are)

No such thing

But that reminds me of a typcial situation...

HER: You want to meet up later?
ME: Can't, meeting the lads in the pub later to watch the game.
----
HER: Oh, so you'd rather meet them than me?
ME: Course not!
HER: Oh, so it's the football. It's more important than me then?
ME: (Brain: Duh, Yeah) Mouth: Course not!
HER: Then what is it, don't you want to spend time with me anymore?
ME: Yeah!
HER: What's wrong with this evening?
ME: Already told the lads I'll meet them.
... and repeat from ---

tribulus

jester77 wrote:

No such thing

But that reminds me of a typcial situation...

HER: You want to meet up later?
ME: Can't, meeting the lads in the pub later to watch the game.
----
HER: Oh, so you'd rather meet them than me?
ME: Course not!
HER: Oh, so it's the football. It's more important than me then?
ME: (Brain: Duh, Yeah) Mouth: Course not!
HER: Then what is it, don't you want to spend time with me anymore?
ME: Yeah!
HER: What's wrong with this evening?
ME: Already told the lads I'll meet them.
... and repeat from ---

Thank you brother, I now know I'm not alone

A similiar thing yester day:

ME - bored in college, sitting on my arse
HER - in work since 7, tired and on the bus home
HER: how are you, what you up to
ME: nothing, in college, heading home soon
HER: you doing anything when you get home
ME: no, i'll try to study but fail miseably
HER: oh okay

A couple of minutes later:

HER: so you doing anything tonight
ME: no just heading home.

I get a text this morning: " i wanted to see you yesterday, see you on the weekend"

:mad: :rolleyes: i give up