Welfare

Karoma

A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches up to the Counter and
says, \"Hi... You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I\'d really rather
have a job.\"

The social worker behind the counter says \"Your timing is excellent.

We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur
and bodyguard for his beautiful nymphomaniac daughter.



You\'ll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he\'ll supply all of your clothes.
Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You\'ll be expected to
escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You will have to satisfy her
sexual urges. You\'ll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the
garage. The starting salary is €200,000 a year.\"

The guy, wide-eyed, says, \"You\'re bull****tin\' me!\"

The social worker says, \"Yeah, well... You started it!\"

Oliverdog

"There is a vacancy at the County Council that might suit you. Do you have any qualifications ?"

"Not really. I was in the Army - I served in the Falklands for three years until I was invalided out."

"That will count in your favour, especially if you have a disability."

"Yes, I am disabled. A land mine blew my testicles off."

"Let me give them a call. Just wait here a minute."

The interviewer was soon back with good news. "OK, they will hire you. The hours are from 8:00am to 4:00pm. You can start tomorrow. Report to work at 10:00am."

"But if the hours are from 8:00am to 4:00pm, then why do they want me to go in at 10:00am?"

"This is a council job - for the first two hours they sit around scratching their balls. No point in you coming in for that."

threebeards

john.hannah@bti wrote:

"There is a vacancy at the County Council that might suit you. Do you have any qualifications ?"

"Not really. I was in the Army - I served in the Falklands for three years until I was invalided out."

"That will count in your favour, especially if you have a disability."

"Yes, I am disabled. A land mine blew my testicles off."

"Let me give them a call. Just wait here a minute."

The interviewer was soon back with good news. "OK, they will hire you. The hours are from 8:00am to 4:00pm. You can start tomorrow. Report to work at 10:00am."

"But if the hours are from 8:00am to 4:00pm, then why do they want me to go in at 10:00am?"

"This is a council job - for the first two hours they sit around scratching their balls. No point in you coming in for that."

ROFL

fred funk }{

My likes them lads

:|

Good'uns