The Funny Side of Religion

robindch

Recession his first communion:

http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/breaking/2011/0614/breaking29.html

The last line's unbeatable:

St Vincent De Paul wrote:

it would be a brave parish priest who would try to introduce rules - many parents would object and say "you’ll not tell me what to do with my child".

Galvasean

He's not wrong is he?

robindch

Galvasean wrote: »

He's not wrong is he?

Despite my Poe-meter's wild jiggling, I'm inclined to wonder why the SvP guy's worried about priests telling parents what to do with their kids, when the whole first-communion thing's only happening at all because, er, priests have told parents what to do with their kids.

recedite

A compelling argument for baptism and faith schools, by a local parish priest;

(The priest) is less comfortable when parents make the decision not to baptise their children. “People have said to me, ‘We don’t want them baptised: we want them to decide for themselves.’ But God doesn’t just pop out of the sky. There are very few Damascus moments. I just question whether, if there is no engagement with God from an early age, anyone would opt for religion.”

http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/weekend/2011/0604/1224298366216.html?via=rel

robindch

Seems there's money in snake-oil:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-13763339

robindch

‎"Debating creationists on the topic of evolution is rather like trying to play chess with a pigeon; it knocks the pieces over, craps on the board, and flies back to its flock to claim victory." - Scott D. Weitzenhoffer

The Mad Hatter

robindch wrote: »

‎"Debating creationists on the topic of evolution is rather like trying to play chess with a pigeon; it knocks the pieces over, craps on the board, and flies back to its flock to claim victory." - Scott D. Weitzenhoffer

No posts on this stupid thread for ten days. Just remember - you brought it back from the dead.

himnextdoor

The Mad Hatter wrote: »

No posts on this stupid thread for ten days. Just remember - you brought it back from the dead.

It wasn't dead, it was just resting.

Genghiz Cohen

The Mad Hatter wrote: »

[...] ten days. [...] back from the dead.

Eat that Jesus!

robindch

The Mad Hatter wrote: »

[...] you brought it back from the dead.

Resurrection cancelled

The Mad Hatter

robindch wrote: »

Resurrection cancelled

Did you just transubstantiate our posts?

robindch

The Mad Hatter wrote: »

Did you just transubstantiate our posts?

Nope, just practicing bilocation.

vibe666

5uspect wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Vyb2wn5JNg

she actually makes a very good point there, that creationists scoff at the idea they may be distant relatives to monkeys but are more than happy with the idea that the human race was fashioned out of dirt.

i'm happier being a descendant of a monkey than i would be as a descendant of mud.

robindch

vibe666 wrote: »

i'm happier being a descendant of a monkey than i would be as a descendant of mud

I think you may be both

The Mad Hatter

vibe666 wrote: »

i'm happier being a descendant of a monkey than i would be as a descendant of mud.

robindch wrote: »

I think you may be both

"I'd rather be a risen ape than a fallen angel." -Terry Pratchett

mikhail

The Mad Hatter wrote: »

"I'd rather be a risen ape than a fallen angel." -Terry Pratchett

Pratchett's formulation is cute enough to stand on its own, but I'd just like to point out that he didn't invent that comparison:
http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Robert_Ardrey

Standman

Grest song from Matt Stone and Trey parkers (South Park creators) broadway play "The book of Mormon".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3i_4NML1fw

Coriolanus

fontanalis

Marsha McMallow

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpdLM8ja0H0

robindch

Abie Philbin Bowman's standup at the atheist conference:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqBuC5Yfjsk

mikhail

robindch

The BBC tries to explain the christian trinity:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/christianity/beliefs/trinity_1.shtml

BBC wrote:

Introduction to the Trinity

The doctrine of the Trinity is the Christian belief that there is One God, who is Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Other ways of referring to the Trinity are the Triune God and the Three-in-One. The Trinity is a controversial doctrine; many Christians admit they don't understand it, while many more Christians don't understand it but think they do.

In fact, although they'd be horrified to hear it, many Christians sometimes behave as if they believe in three Gods and at other times as if they believe in one.

The doctrine of the Trinity is one of the most difficult ideas in Christianity, but it's fundamental to Christians because it:

• states what Christians believe God is like and who he is
• plays a central part in Christians' worship of an "unobjectifiable and incomprehensible God"
• emphasises that God is very different from human beings
• reflects the ways Christians believe God encounters them
• is a central element of Christian identity
• teaches Christians vital truths about relationship and community
• reveals that God can be seen only as a spiritual experience whose mystery inspires awe and cannot be understood logically

Unpacking the doctrine

The idea that there is One God, who is Father, Son, and Holy Spirit means:

• There is exactly one God
• The Father is God
• The Son is God
• The Holy Spirit is God
• The Father is not the Son
• The Son is not the Holy Spirit
• The Father is not the Holy Spirit

An alternate way of explaining it is:

• There is exactly one God
• There are three really distinct Persons - Father, Son, and Holy Spirit
• Each of the Persons is God

Common mistakes

The Trinity is not

• Three individuals who together make one God
• Three Gods joined together
• Three properties of God

recedite

robindch wrote: »

The BBC tries to explain the christian trinity:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/christianity/beliefs/trinity_1.shtml

They explain further;

The BBC wrote:

The mystery of the Trinity: (1+1+1=1) = Nonsense!
This idea that three persons add up to one individual seems like nonsense. And logically, it is.
So Christians don't try to understand the doctrine of the Trinity logically or as a problem of arithmetic.
Unfortunately most other attempts to explain the Trinity don't really capture the concept either, or are very difficult to understand.

This next explanation seems like a runner...

The BBC wrote:

The Trinity is like water because water comes in three forms - ice, water, steam. This is Modalism because these are three states or modes of the substance water.

but unfortunately, reading the small print, it has been declared an official heresy; so forget it immediately

strobe

Quick, someone send them over a French slave boy with a fist full of grass. STAT!

Galvasean

robindch wrote: »

I think you may be both

So... are you omplying that a munkyy had sex with a pile of muck to make man?!!?!? :pac::eek:
You materialist evolutionsists have no shame!!!!! :cool::pac::D:eek:

biko

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkCuc34hvD4

Coriolanus

He is funny, but thankfully is a satirist.

Nodin

There are a number of kinds of mental going on here.....feel free to move if its better suited to elsewhere....

A Jewish rabbinical court condemned to death by stoning a stray dog it feared was the reincarnation of a lawyer who insulted its judges, reports say.

The dog entered the Jerusalem financial court several weeks ago and would not leave, reports Israeli website Ynet.
It reminded a judge of a curse passed on a now deceased secular lawyer about 20 years ago, when judges bid his spirit to enter the body of a dog.

The animal is said to have escaped before the sentence was carried out.
One of the judges at the court in the city's ultra-Orthodox Mea Shearim neighbourhood had reportedly asked local children to carry out the sentence.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-13819764

WeeBushy

Sure we can ban public smoking, but only Jesus is powerful enough to ban RAINBOWS.

http://www.xtra.ca/public/Toronto/Rainbows_banned_at_Mississauga_Catholic_school-10262.aspx