The Funny Side of Religion

robindch

Knasher wrote: »

Just out of interest what do christians shout out during sex outside of wedlock? Can't imagine shouting "oh god" is a good idea, getting his attention to point out you're breaking his rules.

"Oh, f*ck!"

robindch

http://bible.org/seriespage/elisha-and-two-bears-2-kings-223-25

liamw

mehfesto

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DOSkBJ-Q1Zw&

Not really that funny, more kinda cool. Foo Fighters perform to the Westboro protestors as a badly disguised 'redneck' band.

Delirium

pts

I just got an email to say that my paper got accepted to an international conference. The paper went through anonymous peer review (i.e. I don't know who reviewed the paper) by 4 academics who do research in the same area as me. They score the paper and decide if the paper should be accepted or not. Either way you usually get feedback on the paper to help you improve it. One comment stood out and made me chuckle.

In my background section I wrote about an algorithm someone came up with and someone else used in their experiment. So I said that they christened the algorithm <xyz> since to original author never named it. One of the comments I got back (under the heading of presentation) was:
"christened". I would avoid religious flavors in a scientific paper.

Nice to see that someone is prepared to defend science from mumbo-jumbo terminology

smokingman

pts wrote: »

I just got an email to say that my paper got accepted to an international conference.

First off, congrats on what is, a pretty big deal

Secondly, serves ya right ya god botherer

robindch

The New Yorker found god's blog:

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/2011/08/08/110808sh_shouts_simms

God wrote:

UPDATE: Pretty pleased with what I've come up with in just six days. Going to take tomorrow off. Feel free to check out what I've done so far. Suggestions and criticism (constructive, please!) more than welcome. God out.

COMMENTS (24)

• Not sure who this is for. Seems like a fix for a problem that didn't exist. Liked it better when the earth was without form, and void, and darkness was on the face of the deep.
• Going carbon-based for the life-forms seems a tad obvious, no?
• The creeping things that creepeth over the earth are gross.
• Not enough action. Needs more conflict. Maybe put in a whole bunch more people, limit the resources, and see if we can get some fights going. Give them different skin colors so they can tell each other apart.
• Disagree with the haters out there who have a problem with man having dominion over the fish of the sea, the fowl of the air, the cattle of the earth, and so on. However, I do think it's worth considering giving the fowl of the air dominion over the cattle of the earth, because it would be really funny to see, like, a wildebeest or whatever getting bossed around by a baby duck.
• The "herb yielding seed" is a hella fresh move. 4:20!
• Why are the creatures more or less symmetrical on a vertical axis but completely asymmetrical on a horizontal axis? It's almost like You had a great idea but You didn't have the balls to go all the way with it.
• The dodo should just have a sign on him that says, "Please kill me." Ridiculous.
• Amoebas are too small to see. They should be at least the size of a plum.
• Beta version was better. I thought the Adam-Steve dynamic was much more compelling than the Adam-Eve work-around You finally settled on.
• I liked the old commenting format better, when you could get automatic alerts when someone replied to your comment. This new way, you have to click through three or four pages to see new comments, and they're not even organized by threads. Until this is fixed, I'm afraid I won't be checking in on Your creation.
• ***SPOILER*** One of them is going to eat something off that tree You told them not to touch.
• Adam was obviously created somewhere else and then just put here. So, until I see some paperwork proving otherwise, I question the legitimacy of his dominion over any of this.
• Why do they have to poop? Seems like there could have been a more elegant/family-friendly solution to the food-waste-disposal problem.
• The lemon tree: very pretty. The lemon flower: sweet. But the fruit of the poor lemon? Impossible to eat. Is this a bug or a feature?
• Unfocussed. Seems like a mishmash at best. You've got creatures that can speak but aren't smart (parrots). Then, You've got creatures that are smart but can't speak (dolphins, dogs, houseflies). Then, You've got man, who is smart and can speak but who can't fly, breathe underwater, or unhinge his jaws to swallow large prey in one gulp. If it's supposed to be chaos, then mission accomplished. But it seems more like laziness and bad planning.
• If it's not too late to make changes, in version 2.0 You should make water reflective, so the creatures have a way of seeing what they look like.
• @ [www.shoezwarehouze.com]
• Penguins are retarded. Their wings don't work and their legs are too short. I guess they're supposed to be cute in a "I liek to eat teh fishes" way, but it's such obvious pandering to the lowest common denominator.
• There's imitation, and then there's homage, and then there's straight-up idea theft, which is what Your thing appears to be. Anyone who wants to check out the original should go to www.VishnuAndBrahma.com. (And check it out soon, because I think they're about to go behind a paywall.)
• Putting boobs on the woman is sexist.
• Wow. Just wow. I don't even know where to start. So the man and his buddy the rib-thing have dominion over everything. They're going to get pretty unbearable really fast. What You need to do is make them think that there were other, bigger, scarier creatures around a long time before them. I suggest dinosaurs. No need to actually create dinosaurs-just create some weird-ass dinosaur bones and skeletons and bury them in random locations. Man will dig them up eventually and think, What the f?
• Epic fail.
• Meh.

Gordon

Love it!

Burgo

http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/268320_700b.jpg

probably to big to imbed.

bnt

The Westboro Baptist Church decided to picket a Foo Fighters concert in Kansas City last Friday night, complete with their patented "God Hates Fags" signs. Anyone wondering what the band thought about that?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6e5hRLbCaCs

robindch

The world's first open-source religion:

http://www.yoism.org/

Claims a sense of humor too.

The Mad Hatter

Burgo wrote: »

http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/268320_700b.jpg

probably to big to imbed.

oldrnwisr

Don't know if this is a repost but...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJwhqhqBtbo

Nailz

Pardon me if these were posted before...

GLaDOS

http://gayhomophobe.com/ Made me chuckle

hare05

ScienceNerd wrote: »

http://gayhomophobe.com/ Made me chuckle

Right lads, lets see if we can aim for a month this ti...

Dammit Santorum...

Galvasean

When memes collide...

Sarky

So I have a friend still in secondary school, who told me earlier that there is a section in this book, chapter 20, that dealt with abortion. There was a list of for and against arguments. One of the for arguments was the well-known and perfectly reasonable "A woman has the right to do what she wants with her body".

The rebuttal was, I am informed, "By that logic a man has the right to do what he wants with HIS body, including rape."

I'm getting my hands on the book tomorrow to confirm this. It sounds far too mad.

Delirium

I think I died a little inside

The Mad Hatter

koth wrote: »

I think I died a little inside

Pun intended?

Delirium

The Mad Hatter wrote: »

Pun intended?

HUNK

Corkfeen

pts

Don't think this has been posted, "Religious People Are Nerds"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNtnN_DiP3o

robindch

Senior Italian churchman says that all these sexual scandals are sending out the wrong message.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-15065940

vibe666

robindch wrote: »

Senior Italian churchman says that all these sexual scandals are sending out the wrong message.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-15065940

for a minute there i was trying to figure out what berlusconi had to do with all the recent sex scandals and then i realised that yer man wasn't actually talking about the church.

there seems to be somewhat of a pot/kettle situation there.

vibe666

stevoslice

Sinful Rihanna

Nuala.McCann.BBC wrote:

A farmer who allowed one of the world's best-selling pop stars to film in his grain field told her to cover up after she stripped down for a video.

DUP Alderman Alan Graham said he was fetching his tractor when he saw her and thought it was unacceptable.

The 'Rude Boy' star was filming a new pop video in his Bangor field.

"I thought it was inappropriate. I requested them to stop and they did," he explained.

"I had my conversation with Rihanna and I hope she understands where I'm coming from. We shook hands," he said.

Mr Graham admitted that he did not know who the 23-year-old sex symbol was when he got a phonecall to ask for the use of his field in Bangor, County Down, for a pop video last week.

"I didn't know who was coming. If the name 'Rihanna' had been mentioned, well, no disrespect but it wouldn't have meant anything," he explained.

Rihanna, one of the most successful pop performers in the world, came to film in the alderman's Bangor grain field on Monday.

She pulled up in a white caravan on the A2 dual carriageway.

Traffic practically ground to a halt near Ballyrobert as drivers strained to get a glimpse of the singer and her cavalcade.

But the DUP man said it was still his field and he wasn't happy with what she was doing.

"From my point of view, it was my land, I have an ethos and I felt it was inappropriate.

"I wish no ill will against Rihanna and her friends. Perhaps they could acquaint themselves with a greater God," he said.

Hundreds of people also gathered by the roadside to watch the impromptu performance with many local school children using their camera phones to record the event for posterity.

The Barbadian first came to prominence in her homeland and the United States before achieving worldwide fame with her 2007 hit, Umbrella.

CiaranMT

'nother 9gagger: