The Funny Side of Religion

Delirium

Delirium

bnt

re Spacedog

CiaranMT wrote: »

And with about 4 or 5 appearances over the last 24 hours, he's been sent to the pound :P

He/She/It is not the only one who's missing a few screws (in every sense of the word). Have a look at this hilarious thread over on t'other Forum. I didn't know Smoking was a cardinal sin, and that's just the first in the list in post #5. Even Christians have an Irony threshold, if the reactions are any guide.

sensibleken

bnt wrote: »

re Spacedog

He/She/It is not the only one who's missing a few screws (in every sense of the word). Have a look at this hilarious thread over on t'other Forum. I didn't know Smoking was a cardinal sin, and that's just the first in the list in post #5. Even Christians have an Irony threshold, if the reactions are any guide.

9. Who imitates Satan with loose unkept hair?

you know the more i hear about that guy, the more i like

Sarky

He really does get a bum deal in all the literature I've read. Poor guy.

fitz0

sensibleken wrote: »

9. Who imitates Satan with loose unkept hair?

you know the more i hear about that guy, the more i like

5. Who defiles himself through self-service?

I knew Tesco were up to something with those fancy new tills. We're all damned through the devils supermarket!

bnt

26. Who is lazy and does not seek work in my field in my home?

Must be me, I can't stand gardening.

71. Whose ears are defiled? (I see radar close to ears to catch things from the side)

What, like this? :eek:

Dades

28. Who enters God’s house without fear of the LORD but with foolish talking, jesting and speaking boldly when this place is Holy?

Lucky I stopped turning up drunk at midnight mass 15 years ago!

robindch

Dades wrote: »

[/COLOR]I stopped turning up drunk at midnight mass 15 years ago!

// wishes that somebody had recorded the drunk trumpeter who serenaded the consecration at christmas midnight mass in Killarney in 1975.

Beruthiel

A quote from that great book Catch 22 that I was reminded of recently:

"And don't tell me God works in mysterious ways," Yossarian continued. … "There's nothing mysterious about it, He's not working at all. He's playing. Or else He's forgotten all about us. That's the kind of God you people talk about, a country bumpkin, a clumsy, bungling, brainless, conceited, uncouth hayseed. Good God, how much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of Creation? What in the world was running through that warped, evil, scatological mind of His when He robbed old people of the power to control their bowel movements? Why in the world did He ever create pain?"

kleefarr

Brian ..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zjz16xjeBAA

robindch

Galvasean

Bombardier beetle, what a guy!

Sarky

robindch wrote: »

<image>

Wow, it's like every time I tried debating with J C!

robindch

A crib we can all enjoy (jewish, islamics excepted):

sensibleken

^^ and veggies

BlitzKrieg

Is the base pure cheese?

recedite

Pure as the driven snow.

Sonics2k

Genghiz Cohen

Sarky

Those are excellent!

Sonics2k

Shamelessly stolen from YLYL

robindch

Egyptian cleric says that women shouldn't touch or see bananas, courgettes or carrots, lest they be lead down the ways of sin:

http://www.ibtimes.com/articles/262867/20111207/islamic-cleric-bans-women-touching-bananas-cucumbers.htm

Some Guy wrote:

In a ridiculously repressive and absurd proposal, an Islamic cleric residing in Europe has said in a ruling that women should not touch or be anywhere close to bananas and cucumbers, in order to avoid "sexual thoughts".

An unnamed sheikh was quoted in a religious publication, el-Senousa News, as saying that if a woman wished to eat cucumbers or bananas, it should be sliced into pieces, preferably by her husband or father, before she eats them. Egyptian English news site Bikya Masr reported the proposal. According to the report, the sheikh has also added carrots and zucchini to the list of apparently immoral and blasphemous fruits and vegetables.

The sheikh was also asked if simply holding these vegetables, while out shopping, would be "harmful" for women. He replied that it was a matter between God and women. Unsurprisingly, the sheikh's comment has become a target of online mockery, with a flurry of comments denouncing the Islamic repression of women. Many of the commentators are Muslims themselves, who have expressed their anger against the cleric for making Islamic religious practices appear unreasonable.

Islamic clerics of Saudi Arabia have been in the headlines recently when they spoke out against lifting the driving ban on women. The argument in that case suggested that "all women will lose their virginity" by indulging in pre-marital sex due to the mixing of genders (which, it is feared, will occur if women were allowed to drive).

The "scholarly" report by the clerics of Majlis al-Ifta al-Aala, the country's highest Islamic council, warned there would be "no more virgins" in the country within 10 years of lifting the ban because driving will lead to a "surge in prostitution, pornography, homosexuality and divorce."

The declaration urging the driving ban on women was closely followed by another ludicrous proposal - one requiring women to cover their eyes. According to existing Sharia laws, Saudi women are required to cover themselves from head to toe, with a long black cloak called the "abaya", except for their eyes.

However, Saudi Arabia's Committee for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice found that even women's eyes could sometimes be too attractive for men and drafted a new proposal, which states that women with "tempting" eyes need to cover them.

MagicMarker

What about dildos?

Beruthiel

MagicMarker wrote: »

What about dildos?

I'm pretty sure they're probably banned in down town Tehran. Even in the red light district....

Sarky

I presume dildos must also wear a burkha, if only because the mental image is amusing.

robindch

Sarky wrote: »

I presume dildos must also wear a burkha,

That's condoms you're thinking of.

recedite

Can you get black condoms? (with eye slits)

Coriolanus

Sarky wrote: »

Those are excellent!

There's a good few of them. I can also heartily recommend the graphic novel the image comes from.

sephir0th

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LkNvQYiM6bw