The Funny Side of Religion

CiaranMT

As an aside, John Turturro is a fantastic actor :pac:

Dades

You're about to see that on my FB Galvasean.

ETA - stupid FB doesn't do gifs right...

Turtwig

Dades wrote: »

You're about to see that on my FB Galvasean.

ETA - stupid FB doesn't do gifs right...

Stoopid facebook doesn't do many things right. :P

Sarky

Google+ tbh.

Turtwig

Sarky wrote: »

Google+ tbh.

Alas, no one really uses it yet.:(

Google+ hangouts with skeptics are pretty darn awesome. Phil Plait does it regular just keep an eye on his twitter.

sephir0th

Sarky wrote: »

Google+ tbh.

Neither - we need an decent open-source solution to social networking

The Mad Hatter

sephir0th wrote: »

Neither - we need an decent open-source solution to social networking

You mean like Diaspora? (I joined, but then I wound up not using it very much...)

Genghiz Cohen

The Mad Hatter wrote: »

...but then I wound up not using it very much...

Should be the Open Source Motto...

Bandana boy

atheists-science-of-fear

Thursday, November 25, 2010
Atheism: The Science Of Fear
Atheists are soulless reprobates; antagonists looking to upset the balance of the church's theological blueprints for creationism. Using a wacky new age practice called "Science", they fumble around with unsubstantiated rhetoric in an attempt to refute the solid evidence presented by Creationism.

Atheists use cunning marketing strategies to pedal this farcical pipe dream. They use their Atheist pin-up boy Steven Hawking, who sucks people in with his chiseled features, only to brainwash them with a bedtime story about exploding stars and overheating atoms. Please.

Atheists believe that the earth has evolved over a period of 13.7 billion years. "All the matter, energy, and light were all compacted into an infinitely dense point. The universe then expanded tremendously". Now forgive me for sounding obtuse, but doesn't this sound like an episode of Star Wars?

So convincing.

Creationism on the other hand is clear; concise; succinct. It doesn't need some sci-fi graphic, full of shiny astrological aesthetics. It gives a greater understanding of why we're here today. Who brought us here and what his vision was.


"I have made the earth, and created man upon it: I, [even] my hands, have stretched out the heavens, and all their host have I commanded". Simple - no bull****.

When a Christian asks an Atheist to explain their reasoning, they can't. They freeze up and offer little or no clarification. Just watch this video in which Bill O'Reilly schools Richard Dawkins.


GOOD VS EVIL

As stated in the above video, the most evil men in history are atheists. They have committed some of the largest atrocities known to man, and preached science in the process.

The Church on the other hand has been responsible for influencing some of the most pertinent and brilliant minds our 6000 year old world has ever seen.

Christians
1. Gary Burghoff (Played Radar O'Reilly on Mash)
2. George W. Bush (43rd President of USA)
3. Mr T
4. GOD

Want me to keep going?

Everything's not Monkey-Dory

Atheists claim that we, human beings - human beings who invented the car, the dish-washer, the ipad - evolved from a banana eating monkey. And they say Christians are crazy for believing in a man in the clouds?! Also, I went to the Zoo last month and saw a monkey. Why didn't he evolve? But they go onto say...

"Species close to the last common ancestor of gorillas, chimpanzees and humans may be represented by Nakalipithecus fossils found in Kenya and Ouranopithecus found in Greece. Molecular evidence suggests that between 8 and 4 million years ago, first the gorillas, and then the chimpanzees (genus Pan) split off from the line leading to the humans; human DNA is approximately 98.4% identical to that of chimpanzees.." Blah Blah Blah.

A simpler explanation if I may.

"God created man out of the dust of the earth." - More honest.

As the evidence continues to pile up in the favour of Creationists, Atheists become more and more desperate; trying in vein to clench the last rung of the monkey bars of argumentation. As I put a ribbon on this compelling and factually plump blog entry, I will leave you with a reading from the Genesis (our Holy Bible).

"Cursed are you more than all cattle, And more than every beast of the field; On your belly you will go, And dust you will eat, all the days of your life."

CiaranMT

b318isp

Bandana boy wrote: »

atheists-science-of-fear

Hear hear. :rolleyes:

CramCycle

CiaranMT wrote: »

Oh no, all those years I thought I was hypoglycemic, I was actually being possessed by the Holy Ghost :eek:

BlitzKrieg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OyA9f-rs1-M

Atheist calls people who have faith are idiots on british television.

Religous person hits back by saying she has faith in money as it clearly doesnt exist...


what?

joseph brand

BlitzKrieg wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OyA9f-rs1-M

Atheist calls people who have faith are idiots on british television.

Religous person hits back by saying she has faith in money as it clearly doesnt exist...


what?

Typical religious response. Makes no sense to anyone with any sense.

I believe in Bushmills whiskey. I've just tasted it and I feel merry. Or, perhaps it's just faith. Ahaha.
Too easy to argue with 'them'.

joseph brand

robindch wrote: »

US Bishop almost obeys 1 Timothy 3:2. Interesting to see that the diocese was helping "the children with college costs" since I seem to remember that Eamon Casey got himself into trouble for persuading his diocese to help out within funding his own son.

Unbeatable last two lines in the report all the same.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-16413105

Originally Posted by The Beeb
A Catholic bishop who fathered two children has stepped down.

Pope Benedict has accepted the resignation of Gabino Zavala, an auxiliary bishop of Los Angeles, the Vatican said. The Archbishop of Los Angeles, Jose Gomez, wrote in a letter to worshippers that Bishop Zavala told him in December that he was the father of two teenage children. The children, who are minors, live with their mother in another state.

Archbishop Gomez said that the archdiocese was offering the family "spiritual care," as well as funding to help the children with college costs. In his letter he described the news as "sad and difficult" and said Bishop Zavala had been living privately and not participating in ministry since resigning.

Bishop Zavala is 60 and was born in Mexico. He has campaigned against the death penalty and for immigrants' rights. The Vatican did not spell out the reason for Bishop Zavala's resignation in its statement, but made reference to canon law which allows bishops to step down before normal retirement age if they are ill or unfit for office for some other reason.

The Pope has shown no sign of relaxing the Roman Catholic Church's rule on priestly celibacy, which has been in place since the 11th Century. In March 2010 he described celibacy as "the sign of full devotion, the entire commitment to the Lord and to the 'Lord's business', an expression of giving oneself to God and to others".

Priests are not allowed to marry but married Anglican priests who convert to Catholicism are exempted from the celibacy rule. Two days ago Pope Benedict appointed an American married priest to head the first US structure for Anglicans converting to Roman Catholicism.

Pope: "F**k yous. If I didn't get to have sex, none of the rest of yous will either".

I don't mean to sound crude, but, it would take a very charitable Pope to be able to give others what he himself had been denied for his ENTIRE life.

GLaDOS

List of dates predicted for apocalyptic events

Calibos

joseph brand wrote: »

Pope: "F**k yous. If I didn't get to have sex, none of the rest of yous will either".

I don't mean to sound crude, but, it would take a very charitable Pope to be able to give others what he himself had been denied for his ENTIRE life.

OK, now I have a picture of a future right-on liberal pope signing the revocation of that bit of canon law or whatever its called. Camera cuts to St Peters square, The halleluiah chorus blares over the speakers and endless floods of priests stream out of the Vatican like crazed animals. Young and beautiful and Old fat and ugly Italian roman women run for their lives.....

Did I just imagine that or do I remember it from an old Monty Python sketch or something

recedite

joseph brand wrote: »

Religous person hits back by saying she has faith in money as it clearly doesnt exist...

If you take out a mortgage, you might think that the building society is lending you money that somebody else has put in on deposit, but in fact they conjure it up out of thin air. So money is only credit, and credit is based on trust, or if you like, faith.

himnextdoor

recedite wrote: »

If you take out a mortgage, you might think that the building society is lending you money that somebody else has put in on deposit, but in fact they conjure it up out of thin air. So money is only credit, and credit is based on trust, or if you like, faith.

And what did faith get them? Negative equity, that's what.

When you take out a mortgage you enter into an agreement that the building society will buy you the house on the condition that you do actual work for actual money and pay them loads regularly.

I believe in building societies and if God provided a means for acquiring affordable housing (other than joining the Priesthood) then I might believe in Him too.

What are His interest rates like?

recedite

himnextdoor wrote: »

What are His interest rates like?

The charging of interest on credit, which is basically a wealthier person making some profit out of a poorer person (usury) has interesting religious implications.
Muslims were forbidden to practice it, and still are. Christians were forbidden too up till Henry 8th. In the Hebrew tradition, it was OK to exploit non-Jews, but not Jews in this way, hence it became something of an industry for them, and still is (look at who owns the major world banks).

Calibos

I've never understood the 'exploitation' angle.

I want something now.
I don't have the money for something now.
Someone else will give me the money now.
I pay them back with a bit extra for being able to buy that something now instead of waiting till I had saved for it.

How am I being exploited? They didn't make me impatiant. Its my fault if they 'exploit' my impatiance. Some personal responsibility is in order methinks. Maybe thats why credit is banned in the religion of deffered responsibility,ie. Allah wills it.

panda100

Was at the Private Eye expo in London last month and took this pic of one of their cartoons. Oldie but a goodie!

recedite

Muslims are fine with credit; its just slapping on the interest charges they don't like. Compare to the Irish famine in the 1840's when some people made extra profits selling stored food at well over the cost price. Of course, you wouldn't do it to your own friends.... same with the moneylenders.

himnextdoor

recedite wrote: »

The charging of interest on credit, which is basically a wealthier person making some profit out of a poorer person (usury) has interesting religious implications.
Muslims were forbidden to practice it, and still are. Christians were forbidden too up till Henry 8th. In the Hebrew tradition, it was OK to exploit non-Jews, but not Jews in this way, hence it became something of an industry for them, and still is (look at who owns the major world banks).

Render unto Caesar and all that?

fitz0

Blatant theft is blatant.

himnextdoor

recedite wrote: »

Muslims are fine with credit; its just slapping on the interest charges they don't like. Compare to the Irish famine in the 1840's when some people made extra profits selling stored food at well over the cost price. Of course, you wouldn't do it to your own friends.... same with the moneylenders.

I know, we should all become friends of money-lenders.

robindch

recedite wrote: »

Muslims are fine with credit

Not all are. For example, in Saudi, it's against sharia law for a bank to allow one of its ATM's to dispense more money to a cardholder than is in his (her?) account.

But you can in Iran. A (Saudi) sharia-law expert explained to me, with a straight face, that the guys in Iran weren't interpreting Sharia correctly.

dmw07

Calibos wrote: »

I've never understood the 'exploitation' angle.

I want something now.
I don't have the money for something now.
Someone else will give me the money now.
I pay them back with a bit extra for being able to buy that something now instead of waiting till I had saved for it.

How am I being exploited? They didn't make me impatiant. Its my fault if they 'exploit' my impatiance. Some personal responsibility is in order methinks. Maybe thats why credit is banned in the religion of deffered responsibility,ie. Allah wills it.

"I've never understood the 'exploitation' angle"

Nor do the people who were, will be and are exploited on a daily bases. Not everyone is as educated and intelligent as you to understand what is actually going on.

100% mortgages to uneducated, unemployed people who some did not know the implications of their actions, by people who set up and play the game and know full well the the implications of their actions?!

There was no exploitation by the banks at all? Was it all those greedy feckers with no jobs and a wish for a better life that caused it all?

Exploitation is what makes the world go around. From religions, to capitalism, to "democracy", to every 90 year old band that reformed just so they could come to Ireland and charge paying muppets €150 a ticket.

Don't knock or play down the power of exploitation dude.

magicbastarder

CiaranMT wrote: »

As an aside, John Turturro is a fantastic actor :pac:

he's the only person who emerged from 'transformers: revenge of the fallen' with any dignity.

a future cult classic that, mark my words.

Galvasean

Any film where Shia lebouff goes to Robot Heaven must have surely meant to be a comedy...