The Funny Side of Religion

ShooterSF

robindch wrote: »

Story with added Opus Dei:

http://news.yahoo.com/peruvian-university-worries-opus-dei-behind-dispute-church-191328873.html

"Vatican representatives say they have spent years trying to persuade the university to comply with Church laws and that a large financial donation the school received should be managed in accordance with those."

The Vatican - Buying powerful people's compliance since...

Links234

Bannasidhe

AN IMAGE of the face of Jesus Christ has appeared on a tree stump in a Belfast cemetery.

The tree, which was recently felled at Belfast City Cemetery in west Belfast, appears to show the face of a bearded man resembling Jesus on the remaining stump beside a grave.

http://www.independent.ie/national-news/video-face-of-jesus-christ-appears-on-cemetery-tree-stump-stumping-locals-3195493.html

That face is the spitting image of my mate Fran - an Atheist from Leitrim.:D

And they will have to try a lot harder than that to beat the Buddha pears.

robindch

Bannasidhe wrote: »

http://www.independent.ie/national-news/video-face-of-jesus-christ-appears-on-cemetery-tree-stump-stumping-locals-3195493.html

:

Independent wrote:

Local parish priest, Fr Willie Russell advised people not to worship the tree. “There's nothing there... it’s just a tree...you can’t worship a tree, ” he said.

Bannasidhe

robindch wrote: »

:

I like Willie's plays....

Galvasean

Bannasidhe wrote: »

http://www.independent.ie/national-news/video-face-of-jesus-christ-appears-on-cemetery-tree-stump-stumping-locals-3195493.html

That face is the spitting image of my mate Fran - an Atheist from Leitrim.:D

And they will have to try a lot harder than that to beat the Buddha pears.

What great big bushy eyebrows you have Lord Jesus...

Bannasidhe

Galvasean wrote: »

What great big bushy eyebrows you have Lord Jesus...

I'm telling ya - That's Fran from Leitrim.

Sarky

Looks more like this guy tbh.

Bannasidhe

Sarky wrote: »

Looks more like this guy tbh.

So does Fran - but with less computer enhanced muscles.

Links234

Bannasidhe wrote: »

http://www.independent.ie/national-news/video-face-of-jesus-christ-appears-on-cemetery-tree-stump-stumping-locals-3195493.html

That face is the spitting image of my mate Fran - an Atheist from Leitrim.:D

And they will have to try a lot harder than that to beat the Buddha pears.

That's not Jesus, it's clearly Glen Benton!

shizz

It really is nice of Jesus to use his ability to shape and form the universe at his will by making himself appear in a tree....

robindch

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/vatican-blocks-bulgarias-papal-envoy-in-row-over-gay-sex-in-book-8010218.html

Nice of The Independent to go to the trouble of finding the offending page number.

Independent wrote:

The Vatican has been accused of rejecting Bulgaria's new choice of ambassador to the Holy See because he wrote a novel containing a gay sex scene.

Kiril Maritchkov, a 39-year-old lawyer who speaks five languages including Italian, and is married to an Italian woman, would appear to be an ideal choice for Sofia's representative at the Vatican. However, Bulgarian newspapers and the Italian press are reporting that an explicit encounter between a young Eastern European male prostitute and a Roman in Mr Maritchkov's popular novel, 'Clandestination', has upset officials at the Holy See, despite the Catholic church's less-than-spotless record on sexual transgression.

It was reported yesterday that Archbishop Janusz Bolonek, the Pope's representative in Sofia, wrote to his superiors highlighting the offending part of the novel, which was a finalist for a book-of-the-year award in Bulgaria. Reports in Sofia suggest the government there has dug its heels in and has refused to offer an alternative candidate for the role of ambassador.

The Vatican's chief spokesman Father Federico Lombardi told The Independent he could not comment on why Mr Maritchkov was persona non grata, but said it was not unusual for candidates to be rejected. "Before someone becomes the new ambassador it's normal for two states to reach an agreement on the candidate," he said. "He has to be welcomed by the host state. In this case an agreement has not been reached. And I can't tell you why not. I cannot comment."

Two years ago it emerged that one of Pope Benedict's ceremonial ushers, as well as a member of the Vatican choir, were involved in a gay prostitution ring. Information from wiretaps told how "two black Cuban lads", a former male model from Naples and a rugby player from Rome, were among those procured for Angelo Balducci, a member of the exclusive Papal Gentlemen fraternity.

La Repubblica newspaper said yesterday that the blocking of Mr Maritchkov's appointment had "clamorously frozen relations between the two countries" – almost to the extent of the diplomatic breakdown that occurred when Italian investigators touted a Bulgarian link in the attempted assassination of Pope John Paul II in May 1981. The stand-off between Sofia and the Holy See is the latest incident in a disastrous 12 months for the Vatican's diplomatic relations. The global child sex abuse scandal has seen relations between Dublin and the Vatican turn icy. Ties with China have also collapsed following Beijing's insistence on ordaining Bishops without papal permission.

Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone, the Vatican's powerful but unpopular number two, who is in charge of the tiny state's diplomatic service, has been blamed by many for the Holy See's deteriorating overseas relations. Attempts to unseat him may also lie behind this year's "Vatileaks" scandal, which has seen a raft of embarrassing documents leaked to the press, including one that suggested Pope Benedict's new ambassador in Washington was exiled in the US because he had blown the whistle on financial corruption.

Clandestination, published in Italy by Cooper Editore, tells the story of Ivan, a young man fleeing the social and economic upheaval in one of Russia's satellite states following the break-up of the Soviet Union. Arriving in Rome, the illegal immigrant he finds that things in the West aren't all they were cracked up to be, and finds hardship, petty crime and poverty. Ivan eventually prostitutes himself for €50 with an Italian (on page 218). The Vatican might not have read to the end which sees troubled young man enter a church, fall to his knees and pray for forgiveness.

GLaDOS

shizz wrote: »

It really is nice of Jesus to use his ability to shape and form the universe at his will by making himself appear in a tree....

Dades

Bannasidhe wrote: »

http://www.independent.ie/national-news/video-face-of-jesus-christ-appears-on-cemetery-tree-stump-stumping-locals-3195493.html

That face is the spitting image of my mate Fran - an Atheist from Leitrim.:D

And they will have to try a lot harder than that to beat the Buddha pears.

To be fair, that's a pretty impressive tree-Jesus.

I'm assuming some troll snuck in and charcoaled that on otherwise it's clearly a miracle and it's going to be *awkward* in Hell.

Muppet Man

What would be really impressive is if we looked at the trunk that was cut off would it show the back of Jesus's head?

Penn

Local parish priest, Fr Willie Russell advised people not to worship the tree. “There's nothing there... it’s just a tree...you can’t worship a tree, ” he said.

Yeah, you can't worship a tree. Supernatural Deity with no proof and which does nothing, that you can worship. Actual tree that we know exists and can feel, touch it etc, can't worship that.

Penn

Muppet Man wrote: »

What would be really impressive is if we looked at the trunk that was cut off would it show the back of Jesus's head?

More impressive if it just said "AARRGGHHHH YOU'VE CUT THROUGH MY HEAD! LOL! Just kidding. I'm Jesus, bitch!"

recedite

Muppet Man wrote: »

What would be really impressive is if we looked at the trunk that was cut off would it show the back of Jesus's head?

Or maybe a cross section of His holy brain?

vibe666

an original cock blocker has turned up for sale!

http://boingboing.net/2012/08/09/an-extremely-rare-anti-mastu.html



one careful frustrated owner.

recedite

^^ I'm guessing a priest had the job of transferring it from one boy to the next?

Nutgrover

vibe666 wrote: »

an original cock blocker has turned up for sale!

http://boingboing.net/2012/08/09/an-extremely-rare-anti-mastu.html

one careful frustrated owner.

That's what you can call technology in service of holiness.
Though erection in this device must have been far from comfortable, given the hope that it helped to get to heaven easier, was well worth the suffering!
Besides, thanks to these tiny holes, one could pee without taking it off. So clever!

Hotblack Desiato

They even added a few holes for the all-important nutsack ventilation.

I think one wouldn't have had to wear this thing for long for thoughts of sexual pleasure to be overridden by 'AAAAGH! CAN'T SCRATCH THAT ITCH!!!'

fitz0

You'd want to leave it on the radiator for a minute or two before putting it on though. Cold nads aren't a great way to start the day.

eoin5

fitz0 wrote: »

You'd want to leave it on the radiator for a minute or two before putting it on though. Cold nads aren't a great way to start the day.

Freeze the balls off a brass monkey it would.

The Mad Hatter

Imagine the smell.:eek:

Kivaro

Originally Posted by Independent
Local parish priest, Fr Willie Russell advised people not to worship the tree. “There's nothing there... it’s just a tree...you can’t worship a tree, ” he said.

Where did the cross come from?
I've seen plenty of Christians worship trees.

General Relativity

Shamelessly stolen from YLYL;

robindch

Hard to know what to make of this one. I suppose, at least, ultra-religious men are limiting their ability to become offended.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/08/ultra-orthodox-jews-blurry-glasses_n_1757338.html

HuffPo wrote:

JERUSALEM -- It's the latest prescription for extreme ultra-Orthodox Jewish men who shun contact with the opposite sex: Glasses that blur their vision, so they don't have to see women they consider to be immodestly dressed.

In an effort to maintain their strictly devout lifestyle, the ultra-Orthodox have separated the sexes on buses, sidewalks and other public spaces in their neighborhoods. Their interpretation of Jewish law forbids contact between men and women who are not married.

Walls in their neighborhoods feature signs exhorting women to wear closed-necked, long-sleeved blouses and long skirts. Extremists have accosted women they consider to have flouted the code.

Now they're trying to keep them out of clear sight altogether.

The ultra-Orthodox community's unofficial "modesty patrols" are selling glasses with special blur-inducing stickers on their lenses. The glasses provide clear vision for up to a few meters so as not to impede movement, but anything beyond that gets blurry – including women. It's not known how many have been sold.

For men forced to venture outside their insular communities, hoods and shields that block peripheral vision are also being offered.

The glasses are going for the "modest" price of $6.

Bannasidhe

robindch wrote: »

Hard to know what to make of this one. I suppose, at least, ultra-religious men are limiting their ability to become offended.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/08/ultra-orthodox-jews-blurry-glasses_n_1757338.html

Today being my day for mad out there thoughts - could they not control their filthy minds and not get worked up at the sight of a female calf muscle?

Galvasean

ninja900 wrote: »

They even added a few holes for the all-important nutsack ventilation.

Those are 'speed holes'

robindch wrote: »

Hard to know what to make of this one. I suppose, at least, ultra-religious men are limiting their ability to become offended.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/08/ultra-orthodox-jews-blurry-glasses_n_1757338.html

In other news: The number of Jewish men walking into lamp posts has risen by a shocking 900%!