The Funny Side of Religion

pauldla

This is from notalwaysright.com, a collection of horror stories from the service industry...

(My partner and I are certified EMTs. We are answering a 911 response for a minor having a seizure.)
Mother: “Oh, thank god! My son is in his room and was violently shaking! I think he had a seizure!”
(At this point my partner goes in to see the teenage son, who is sitting in his bed and is not showing any symptoms of recently having a seizure. I am still getting information from the mother when my partner returns.)
My Partner: *to me* “You can stop getting info.” *to mother* “Ma’am, with all due respect needed, you’re son did not have a seizure, he was umm… well, no easy way to put this, but he was masturbating.”
Mother: “That’s impossible! How dare you accuse my son of such a vile sin! He knows better! He’s a good Christian boy and would never touch himself in such a horrible way! You will transport him to the hospital for proper treatment for his seizure!”
Me: “Ma’am, your son is admitting to my partner what he was doing. He is not showing any symptoms of coming out of an actual seizure. There is no medical condition here for anyone to treat. I don’t think there is a need for him to go to the hospital.”
Mother: “You will take him to the hospital! He needs treatment!”
(After 15 unsuccessful minutes of trying to get the mother to cooperate, it’s obvious she wasn’t going to. We ended up having to transport her son to the ER. Needless to say, he was mortified and was quickly discharged.)

Liamario

pauldla wrote: »

This is from notalwaysright.com, a collection of horror stories from the service industry...

(My partner and I are certified EMTs. We are answering a 911 response for a minor having a seizure.)
Mother: “Oh, thank god! My son is in his room and was violently shaking! I think he had a seizure!”
(At this point my partner goes in to see the teenage son, who is sitting in his bed and is not showing any symptoms of recently having a seizure. I am still getting information from the mother when my partner returns.)
My Partner: *to me* “You can stop getting info.” *to mother* “Ma’am, with all due respect needed, you’re son did not have a seizure, he was umm… well, no easy way to put this, but he was masturbating.”
Mother: “That’s impossible! How dare you accuse my son of such a vile sin! He knows better! He’s a good Christian boy and would never touch himself in such a horrible way! You will transport him to the hospital for proper treatment for his seizure!”
Me: “Ma’am, your son is admitting to my partner what he was doing. He is not showing any symptoms of coming out of an actual seizure. There is no medical condition here for anyone to treat. I don’t think there is a need for him to go to the hospital.”
Mother: “You will take him to the hospital! He needs treatment!”
(After 15 unsuccessful minutes of trying to get the mother to cooperate, it’s obvious she wasn’t going to. We ended up having to transport her son to the ER. Needless to say, he was mortified and was quickly discharged.)

I hope they invoiced the mother.

Liamario

Liamario wrote: »

I hope they invoiced the mother.

Obamacare.

wp_rathead

muppeteer wrote: »

I have to encourage everyone to watch this video from "an expert on modern atheism". If you can make it through to the end that is. You will laugh, cry, wat and rage:).

Great lines include "if atheism is true there are no atheists", "if atheism is true there are no people" and my favourite "tide comes in tide comes out".




It's really quite strange how the same University can produce such twaddle while at the same time producing something as brilliant as http://www.sixtysymbols.com/

...Never wanna watch a football game again..

EDIT:
forgot to add my fav bit:
"I don't want to swear... but that is absolute PANTS"

Delirium

Delirium

Rhetological Fallacies scorecard for Cardinal O'Brien (President of the Bishops' Conference of Scotland and Britain's most senior Catholic) as he laid out his and the churchs objections to same-sex marriage Wasn't sure what thread to post this in.

Aenaes

Seen this on 9GAG

Delirium

Sarky

How does a Jewish guy make tea?

Hebrews it.

shizz

Aenaes wrote: »

Seen this on 9GAG

It's disgraceful that that question is on a test in the first place let alone the answers given to choose from.

Calibos

shizz wrote: »

It's disgraceful that that question is on a test in the first place let alone the answers given to choose from.

Its disgraceful that that question was on a test in a teacher training college for the kind of teacher that set and marked that test in the first place, let alone that its disgraceful that that question is on a test in the first place, let alone the answers given to choose from.....[takes deep breath]

Sulla Felix

Calibos wrote: »

Its disgraceful that that question was on a test in a teacher training college for the kind of teacher that set and marked that test in the first place, let alone that its disgraceful that that question is on a test in the first place, let alone the answers given to choose from.....[takes deep breath]

Woh woh, which teacher training college is that from?

Calibos

Sulla Felix wrote: »

Woh woh, which teacher training college is that from?

Well not exactly that question but...

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056553324

Delirium

robindch

Attention, attention. The world is 6017 years old today!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ussher_chronology

Bannasidhe

robindch wrote: »

Attention, attention. The world is 6017 years old today!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ussher_chronology

Ah yes - Archbishop Ussher and his demonstration of how well the leader's of our little island race are at maths. A proud tradition still held up by our current leaders.

Kivaro

AstraMonti

Sin City

robindch wrote: »

Attention, attention. The world is 6017 years old today!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ussher_chronology

Methodology

Participants - One old God fearin loon

Materials. This study was performed with tools such as the Bible, a quill pen, some ink and a lot of imagination

Method. - The participant read the bible, day dreamed, recorded day dream and came up with new accounts that were never part of the bible in the first place. Other additions were pure guesswork but can be taken as truth purley because if the participant thought, imagined ir guessed it , it was God who put idea in his head

Results- Utter nonsence to be taken seriously to other God fearin folk

Discussion - No one should pay any heed to anything said by God Fearin people sprouting anything from the book. Future expirements could include the formation of the Bible 2- Re Genisis

Links234

Delirium

God Distances Self From Christian Right

THE HEAVENS—Responding to inflammatory remarks made by Republican Senate candidate Richard Mourdock during a Tuesday night debate, Our Lord God The Almighty Father today sought to distance Himself both from Mourdock and from the entire right-wing, fundamentalist Christian movement, sources confirmed.

“I want to make one thing absolutely clear: Mr. Mourdock’s comments from last night in no way reflect my position on this or any other issue,” said the Divine Creator, speaking at a press conference this afternoon in response to Mourdock’s remarks that rape-induced pregnancies were God’s intent. “And, furthermore, I would like to take this opportunity to say definitively that I, God, do not officially sanction or condone the words or actions of anyone involved in the fanatical, conservative Christian faction that Mr. Mourdock represents.”

Dades

"Some commentators think God didn't go far enough with his remarks".

robindch

Dogs, schmogs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQjg8GU0UA8

Links234

No nudity, but probably a bit NSFW anyway enjoy:

http://mormonmissionarypositions.com/

Penn

Links234 wrote: »

No nudity, but probably a bit NSFW anyway enjoy:

http://mormonmissionarypositions.com/

(pictures Mitt and Ann Romney in 'Mare and Swing')

Beruthiel

Thanks Penn.
I'm now going to have to bleach my brain to remove that mental image.

King Mob

Lost episode of Carl Sagan's Cosmos found:
http://boingboing.net/2012/10/25/carl-sagans-cosmos-the-meat.html

magicbastarder

pauldla wrote: »

This is from notalwaysright.com, a collection of horror stories from the service industry...

(My partner and I are certified EMTs. We are answering a 911 response for a minor having a seizure.)
Mother: “Oh, thank god! My son is in his room and was violently shaking! I think he had a seizure!”
(At this point my partner goes in to see the teenage son, who is sitting in his bed and is not showing any symptoms of recently having a seizure. I am still getting information from the mother when my partner returns.)
My Partner: *to me* “You can stop getting info.” *to mother* “Ma’am, with all due respect needed, you’re son did not have a seizure, he was umm… well, no easy way to put this, but he was masturbating.”
Mother: “That’s impossible! How dare you accuse my son of such a vile sin! He knows better! He’s a good Christian boy and would never touch himself in such a horrible way! You will transport him to the hospital for proper treatment for his seizure!”
Me: “Ma’am, your son is admitting to my partner what he was doing. He is not showing any symptoms of coming out of an actual seizure. There is no medical condition here for anyone to treat. I don’t think there is a need for him to go to the hospital.”
Mother: “You will take him to the hospital! He needs treatment!”
(After 15 unsuccessful minutes of trying to get the mother to cooperate, it’s obvious she wasn’t going to. We ended up having to transport her son to the ER. Needless to say, he was mortified and was quickly discharged.)

i'm surprised no-one picked up on this.

robindch

The Universal Label:

MrPudding

shizz wrote: »

It's disgraceful that that question is on a test in the first place let alone the answers given to choose from.

It was, apparently, a geography test.

MrP