The Funny Side of Religion

Bannasidhe

Sofaspud wrote: »

An American (you'd never guess) guy I know on Facebook:

I may vomit.

Sofaspud

Bannasidhe wrote: »

I may vomit.

I know, He supports Heat? Ugh!

Sarky

As in Heat magazine, or..?

Sofaspud

Sarky wrote: »

As in Heat magazine, or..?

I think it's one of those "sport" things, you know, where people pray and god helps them to throw a ball better, because he has nothing more important to worry about.

Bannasidhe

Sofaspud wrote: »

I think it's one of those "sport" things, you know, where people pray and god helps them to throw a ball better, because he has nothing more important to worry about.

I have said this before and I will say it again = all performance enhancing deities should be banned from sports. :mad:

Bannasidhe

My little dog needs hideously expensive surgery if he is going to live past about 2 (he is 7 months) - dunno where I am going to find the money but if I were a person with no morals or ethics I could have a road to Damascus moment, 'find' God, repent my sinful past to packed audiences and ask for donations to help me spread the good news.

If only I had no morals...oh...I just remembered as I atheist I don't have any...

Wohoo - Scooby pack your squeeky toys little guy, gullible fools God is gonna provide!:D

Newaglish

Boo, that sucks. How much is the.surgery?

robindch

Bannasidhe

Newaglish wrote: »

Boo, that sucks. How much is the.surgery?

Let's just say that OH is talking about not getting rid of her 12 year old junker of a car that won't start half the time which she has to have to do her 45 minute each way drive to work.

Haven't found a vet experienced in the surgery in Ireland yet (but I will - or else will have to take him to the UK) but estimates for tests for surgical suitability alone work out at about a grand.

I knew he was sick when I agreed to long-term foster him from the animal refuge who took him when his original owner wanted to have him put to sleep but it was all very unclear as to what his actual condition was. Now that I know that surgery is a viable option which if successful will cure him...

robindch

How do the religious deal with this kind of cognitive dissonance? I have no idea.

http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/breaking/2012/1213/breaking48.html

Irish Times wrote:

Children at a north Kerry school who became upset after a visiting priest implied there was no Santa Claus have been reassured by parents and staff that the priest was mistaken, and Santa does indeed exist.

The priest who made the blunder while visiting the Scoil Mhuire gan Smal in Lixnaw last week believed he was speaking to mainly sixth class pupils.

Fr Martin Hegarty, a retired priest who was filling in for the parish priest, was visiting the school to explain the message of Christmas.

During an exchange with children in the 4th, 5th and 6th classes, Fr Hegarty implied Santa Claus did not exist. A number of children got upset and at least one 11-year-old child began crying.

A meeting of the board of management was called to discuss the matter.

Fr Hegarty, who is understood to be deeply embarrassed, told the Kerry’s Eye newspaper on Wednesday he did not realise the children were upset .

He also remarked to the newspaper that Irish children got more presents than other nationalities at Christmas time. “So they needn’t worry, the presents will come, whether Santy comes or not,” the priest said.

A spokesperson for the diocese of Kerry said they would not be making a statement on the matter at this stage.

Some parents told their children “the priest was making it all up,” according to one parent who did not wish to be named.

Bannasidhe

robindch wrote: »

Priest says that Santa doesn't exist, but god does. Has to reverse some of his position.

But an 11-year old bursting into tears? Jeez!

http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/breaking/2012/1213/breaking48.html

Will comment as soon as I stop laughing.

wp_rathead

Some parents told their children “the priest was making it all up,” according to one parent who did not wish to be named.

This line made me

Hotblack Desiato

Just told the OH about this, she said "Well at least he didn't have a slide presentation with porno in it" :eek:

PopePalpatine

DazMarz

PopePalpatine wrote: »

Order 66 Ratzinger

The pic... the User-name... everything. Perfect. I doff my hat to you sir (or ma'am... hopefully sir [2 points for anyone who gets this reference...])

joseph brand

Typical elevator sign in New York. Because, pressing the buttons is classed as work.

Could they not just get some gruff gentile to do it? We're supposed to be great with our hands after all. :rolleyes:

CiaranMT

Dunno f this was posted earlier but thought it was hilarious.. Screen-grabbed the accompanying picture for good measure:

ANNE LUCEY

Children at a north Kerry school who became upset after a visiting priest implied there was no Santa Claus have been reassured by parents and staff that the priest was mistaken, and Santa does indeed exist.

The priest who made the blunder while visiting the Scoil Mhuire gan Smal in Lixnaw last week believed he was speaking to mainly sixth class pupils.

Fr Martin Hegarty, a retired priest who was filling in for the parish priest, was visiting the school to explain the message of Christmas.

During an exchange with children in the 4th, 5th and 6th classes, Fr Hegarty implied Santa Claus did not exist. A number of children got upset and at least one 11-year-old child began crying.

A meeting of the board of management was called to discuss the matter.

Fr Hegarty, who is understood to be deeply embarrassed, told the Kerry’s Eye newspaper on Wednesday he did not realise the children were upset .

He also remarked to the newspaper that Irish children got more presents than other nationalities at Christmas time. “So they needn’t worry, the presents will come, whether Santy comes or not,” the priest said.

In a statement last night through the diocese of Kerry Fr Hegarty said the following:

“I regret any upset that I have caused to children and parents of Scoil Mhuire gan Smál. My intention was to talk about the birth of Jesus and the true meaning of Christmas. I must admit that Santa Claus is not my area of expertise.”

Some parents told their children “the priest was making it all up,” according to one parent who did not wish to be named.

irishtimes.com

homemadecider

CiaranMT wrote: »

Dunno f this was posted earlier but thought it was hilarious..

Ah, if only there was some way of checking if it had already been posted.

Hotblack Desiato

DazMarz wrote: »

The pic... the User-name... everything. Perfect. I doff my hat to you sir (or ma'am... hopefully sir [2 points for anyone who gets this reference...])

http://www.simpsoncrazy.com/scripts/worst-episode-ever

Montgomerie

Bannasidhe wrote: »

My little dog needs hideously expensive surgery if he is going to live past about 2 (he is 7 months) - dunno where I am going to find the money but if I were a person with no morals or ethics I could have a road to Damascus moment, 'find' God, repent my sinful past to packed audiences and ask for donations to help me spread the good news.

If only I had no morals...oh...I just remembered as I atheist I don't have any...

Wohoo - Scooby pack your squeeky toys little guy, gullible fools God is gonna provide!:D

I was previously unaware of this lady. I was probably better off.. According to her Wikipedia article, she used to receive a salary from "her ministry" of 900,000 per year. That's 18,750 per week......WTF is wrong with people

The Mad Hatter

ninja900 wrote: »

http://www.simpsoncrazy.com/scripts/worst-episode-ever

ACT ONE
The Simpsons family are in the kitchen, gathered for breakfast.

BART
Mmm, good pancakes, Mom!

MARGE
Oh, thank you, honey! They come in a squeeze bottle now.

Marge squeezes the bottle, and it makes a flatulent noise.

MARGE
Woo! Oh, I'd better put the silencer on.

She screws on the silencer, and the bottle now makes a 'zapping' noise.

Ugh. I stopped watching The Simpsons in 2000 - how can it have sunk this far?

Hotblack Desiato

Montgomerie wrote: »

I was previously unaware of this lady. I was probably better off.. According to her Wikipedia article, she used to receive a salary from "her ministry" of 900,000 per year. That's 18,750 per week......WTF is wrong with people

Dont'cha think eternal salvation, paradise, etc. is WORTH paying for?!?

Think of it as "Eternal Life Insurance"

Hotblack Desiato

The Mad Hatter wrote: »

Ugh. I stopped watching The Simpsons in 2000 - how can it have sunk this far?

That episode was originally aired in Feb 2001

The Mad Hatter

ninja900 wrote: »

That episode was originally aired in Feb 2001

Less of a sinking and more of a falling off a cliff, then?

Hotblack Desiato

Yeah, the instant you stopped watching it, you arbiter of taste and goodness you

The Mad Hatter

ninja900 wrote: »

Yeah, the instant you stopped watching it, you arbiter of taste and goodness you

Yes, and I'm a curmudgeonly git sometimes, too:o

Delirium

sephir0th

Bannasidhe

The Mad Hatter wrote: »

Yes, and I'm a curmudgeonly git sometimes, too:o

Gotta respect the use of the word 'curmudgeonly'.

Newaglish

It's a perfectly cromulent word