The Funny Side of Religion

robindch

The sex manual for ultra-Orthodox Jews:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-22152700

Inside the back cover, there's a sealed envelope which contains the book's illustrations -- you can throw the lot away, unopened if the idea of faceless line drawings are likely to overheat you.

Sin City

robindch wrote: »

The sex manual for ultra-Orthodox Jews:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-22152700

Inside the back cover, there's a sealed envelope which contains the book's illustrations -- you can throw the lot away, unopened if the idea of faceless line drawings are likely to overheat you.

Jewish porn

kylith

Sin City wrote: »

Aparently they did say the earth was round
When Eziekial gets lifted up to heaven and sees a round earth that hangs on nothing or something

A God Botherer told me that one when I said the the same thing as the above post lol

I think it's in Isiah that they talk about the 'circle' of the earth, but there's nothing to say whether they meant a flat circle or a sphere.

Sin City

kylith wrote: »

I think it's in Isiah that they talk about the 'circle' of the earth, but there's nothing to say whether they meant a flat circle or a sphere.

Ah right, Ezekial , Issaiah one of em anyway
Still it wasnt the whole world is flat or on a the back of a turtle or anything
I thought it was worth a mention

Did I read that circle translates as sphere in Hewbrew?

kylith

Sin City wrote: »

Ah right, Ezekial , Issaiah one of em anyway
Still it wasnt the whole world is flat or on a the back of a turtle or anything
I thought it was worth a mention

And what's wrong flat worlds on the back of turtles?? :P

Sin City

kylith wrote: »

And what's wrong flat worlds on the back of turtles?? :P

Cuz if he turns over we are all fukt:D

Bannasidhe

sea_monkey wrote: »

kinda weird to hate a sport

Not really.

Some people insist fox hunting is a sport.

I think it is the unspeakable in pursuit of the uneatable.

robindch

kylith wrote: »

I think it's in Isiah that they talk about the 'circle' of the earth, but there's nothing to say whether they meant a flat circle or a sphere.

It's hard to know exactly what Isaiah was talking about, since he refers to the circle of the earth in one place, but to its four corners elsewhere.

Isaiah 11:12 wrote:

And he shall set up an ensign for the nations, and shall assemble the outcasts of Israel, and gather together the dispersed of Judah from the four corners of the earth.

Isaiah 40:22 wrote:

He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth, and its people are like grasshoppers.

Another doomed attempt to square the religious circle, I suppose.

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http://imgur.com/Z9l5AGI

Knasher

Sin City wrote: »

Did I read that circle translates as sphere in Hewbrew?

Nope, it is used a number of times in the old testament and each time it means circle (chuwg) as we would conventionally understand it in English. The reason people claim that it could also mean sphere, is because there was no specific Hebrew word for sphere. There was however a Hebrew word for ball (duwr), which is also used in Isiah. In any case there are two lines in Job, one says that the earth has edges: "take the earth by the edges and shake the wicked out of it", and the other says "The earth takes shape like clay under a seal", the second one specifically implies that the earth is circular, not spherical.

kylith

robindch wrote: »

It's hard to know exactly what Isaiah was talking about, since he refers to the circle of the earth in one place, but to its four corners elsewhere.



Another doomed attempt to square the religious circle, I suppose.

I'd assume that he's using 'four corners' the same way we do; widely distributed across the world.

Still, I think it's safe to say that the writers of the bible weren't too informed about the actual shape of the world, which is kind of odd for people who were apparently enough in contact with the guy who made it that they could confidently chronicle his thoughts on women's rights, slavery, and mildew.

Pherekydes

robindch wrote: »

The sex manual for ultra-Orthodox Jews:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-22152700

Inside the back cover, there's a sealed envelope which contains the book's illustrations -- you can throw the lot away, unopened if the idea of faceless line drawings are likely to overheat you.

I love this bit:

"If you have never seen a movie, never read a book, how are you supposed to know what you do?"

Em, have we evolved so much that we've forgotten what to do?

Bannasidhe wrote: »

Not really.

Some people insist fox hunting is a sport.

Some people insist golf and darts are sports. :rolleyes:

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http://i.imgur.com/SKZPddV.jpg

kylith

Pherekydes wrote: »

I love this bit:

"If you have never seen a movie, never read a book, how are you supposed to know what you do?"

Em, have we evolved so much that we've forgotten what to do?

I have no doubt that there are people out there who've had such sheltered, repressed upbringings that they have only the sketchiest idea of how the act is performed, and that they find the whole thing disgusting and shameful.

kiffer

kylith wrote: »

I have no doubt that there are people out there who've had such sheltered, repressed upbringings that they have only the sketchiest idea of how the act is performed, and that they find the whole thing disgusting and shameful.

I remember a news story about a Chinese couple that thought sleeping together was literal and had been waiting for some time to get pregnant... I find that incredibly hard to believe...

Edit: link... http://www.allvoices.com/contributed-news/9674516-chinese-married-couple-doesnt-know-how-to-make-babies

Galvasean

What doctoral degree can you get without learning about basic reproduction?
The story founds very made up.

Sin City

Galvasean wrote: »

What doctoral degree can you get without learning about basic reproduction?
The story founds very made up.

Creationist MD/PHD of course

Your sick eh, thats God punishing you for all your sins

You broke your arm eh, thats God telling you you have been bad

You have been raped eh, thats God telling you its your own fault

Galvasean

kylith wrote: »

I'd assume that he's using 'four corners' the same way we do; widely distributed across the world.

Still, I think it's safe to say that the writers of the bible weren't too informed about the actual shape of the world, which is kind of odd for people who were apparently enough in contact with the guy who made it that they could confidently chronicle his thoughts on women's rights, slavery, and mildew.

Gotta get the important stuff out of the way first.

kylith

Galvasean wrote: »

What doctoral degree can you get without learning about basic reproduction?
The story founds very made up.

You can get a doctorate in just about anything. A Phd in English wouldn't give you any kind of a grounding in reproduction.

kylith

Galvasean wrote: »

Gotta get the important stuff out of the way first.

Seriously, it goes on about it for verses. You're supposed to bring it to your rabbi and ask his advice about how to treat it.

Doctor Strange

Pherekydes wrote: »

Some people insist golf and darts are sports. :rolleyes:

Golf is a sport, you filthy ateeist :pac:

robindch

kylith wrote: »

I'd assume that he's using 'four corners' the same way we do; widely distributed across the world.

Perhaps. It's also possible that Isaiah thought the world was flat and like the sheets of paper he probably saw maps drawn upon, thought the world had four corners too. I believe the English phrase "four corners of the earth" comes from the KJV translation of the bible.

kylith wrote: »

Still, I think it's safe to say that the writers of the bible weren't too informed about the actual shape of the world, which is kind of odd for people who were apparently enough in contact with the guy who made it that they could confidently chronicle his thoughts on women's rights, slavery, and mildew.

Mildew? New one on me I think!

kylith

robindch wrote: »

Perhaps. It's also possible that Isaiah thought the world was flat and like the sheets of paper he probably saw maps drawn upon, thought the world had four corners too.
I believe the English phrase "four corners of the earth" comes from the KJV translation of the bible.

That is certainly possible.

robindch wrote: »

Mildew? New one on me I think!

Isn't it something. It's a whopping bit of text, considering that people get themselves all worked up over the gays which only get a couple of fleeting mentions. Yet you rarely see people queuing outside the cathedral with their musty towels.

What the bible says about mildew:

Leviticus 13:47-59 wrote:

47 "If any clothing is contaminated with mildew--any woolen or linen clothing, 48 any woven or knitted material of linen or wool, any leather or anything made of leather-- 49 and if the contamination in the clothing, or leather, or woven or knitted material, or any leather article, is greenish or reddish, it is a spreading mildew and must be shown to the priest. 50 The priest is to examine the mildew and isolate the affected article for seven days. 51 On the seventh day he is to examine it, and if the mildew has spread in the clothing, or the woven or knitted material, or the leather, whatever its use, it is a destructive mildew; the article is unclean. 52 He must burn up the clothing, or the woven or knitted material of wool or linen, or any leather article that has the contamination in it, because the mildew is destructive; the article must be burned up. 53 "But if, when the priest examines it, the mildew has not spread in the clothing, or the woven or knitted material, or the leather article, 54 he shall order that the contaminated article be washed. Then he is to isolate it for another seven days. 55 After the affected article has been washed, the priest is to examine it, and if the mildew has not changed its appearance, even though it has not spread, it is unclean. Burn it with fire, whether the mildew has affected one side or the other. 56 If, when the priest examines it, the mildew has faded after the article has been washed, he is to tear the contaminated part out of the clothing, or the leather, or the woven or knitted material. 57 But if it reappears in the clothing, or in the woven or knitted material, or in the leather article, it is spreading, and whatever has the mildew must be burned with fire. 58 The clothing, or the woven or knitted material, or any leather article that has been washed and is rid of the mildew, must be washed again, and it will be clean." 59 These are the regulations concerning contamination by mildew in woolen or linen clothing, woven or knitted material, or any leather article, for pronouncing them clean or unclean.

Turtwig

I don't see Mildew threatening the well being and upbringing of children, do you?:pac:

magicbastarder

Unforgettable _ Fire wrote: »

Golf is a sport, you filthy ateeist :pac:

speaking of golf, i was only commenting on a friend's feed on facebook earlier that judaism seems to be the golf of religion. with all the clauses and subclauses in the rules which make no sense to the outsider.

kylith

Jernal wrote: »

I don't see Mildew threatening the well being and upbringing of children, do you?:pac:

It completely ruined my Garfield t-shirt when I was 7. Does that count?

Bannasidhe

kylith wrote: »

It completely ruined my Garfield t-shirt when I was 7. Does that count?

and the black mould the grows in damp buildings is deadly.

iguana

Pherekydes wrote: »

I love this bit:

"If you have never seen a movie, never read a book, how are you supposed to know what you do?"

Em, have we evolved so much that we've forgotten what to do?

Maybe. I read a paper recently on the nursing habits of great apes and it found that apes who had not been nursed themselves nor lived around other nursing females had no idea how to feed their own young. While the baby chimps/gorillas/etc had a strong suckling reflex, the mothers didn't know how to help position them. Lesser primates and monkeys didn't have the same problem as the more intelligent apes. The conclusion drawn was that the more a creature evolves to be able to learn the more they rely on that learning over their instincts and reflexes. So the same could be true for sex as for nursing.

joseph brand

Bannasidhe wrote: »

and the black mould the grows in damp buildings is deadly.

I don't see what's so great about it. Each to their own.






:pac:

joseph brand