The Funny Side of Religion

robindch · 01-05-2013 9:58am

Prosperity Gospel fails to ensure prosperity for godman Benny Hinn who needs Lots of Money. Quickly.

http://www.christianpost.com/news/benny-hinn-asks-followers-for-2-5-million-to-get-out-of-debt-94822/

Christian Post wrote:

Televangelist Benny Hinn has asked supporters of his ministry for $2.5 million in donations, which he says an anonymous donor will match dollar by dollar to help him get out of debt. "God wants your ministry to be completely out of debt, and I want to plant an anointed seed that will help you take a giant step toward becoming totally debt-free!" says the anonymous man, whom Hinn calls a "long-time and beloved" friend.

"God has laid it on my heart to plant a seed of $2.5 million into your ministry, but God only wants me to make this gift if the ministry partners match the amount within 90 days! I feel so strongly that He wants them to be part of the supernatural wealth transfer that is coming to every believer who will obey God's Word," the man reportedly adds. Hinn preaches a controversial prosperity gospel teaching and has often told followers that donations would be returned back to them in the form of financial blessings.

Benny Hinn Ministries has been investigated by the IRS in the past, and was under a 2007 Senate investigation that delved into the financial dealing of a number of high-profile preachers. The ministry has denied any wrongdoing. The preacher has been criticized for using his ministry's money to buy a private jet and luxury cars, but the exact state of his finances has been kept under wraps.

Earlier in April, Hinn led a large service in Trinidad and Tobago where the minister apparently asked the thousands in attendance to each give a $100 donation to help pay for the two-day event. The Texas televangelist has built his ministry around the idea that if people help the Christian Church, including his own, by offering financial support, then God will reward them and even double their fortunes.

"Imagine not dreading going to the mailbox, no bills piling up on your counter, and no calls from collectors coming to your home. God wants to wipe your debt out! Every bit of it ... and in the next 90 days!" Hinn says on his website.

Delirium · 01-05-2013 10:21am

Worztron · 01-05-2013 10:26am

recedite · 01-05-2013 11:02am

robindch wrote: »

A resident of New York, one Mr Dolan -- a fat, balding, pseudo-Irish bishop -- announces that "the days of fat, balding Irish bishops are over" and appoints Kim Daniels, a former adviser to Sarah Palin, as spokesgirly for the US Conference of Catholic Bishops:

He could be thinking of blasting his fellow bishops with a pump action shotgun, before turning it on himself.
Because hiring a female as a personal assistant/spokesperson is not going to fulfill that prophesy.

Worztron · 01-05-2013 11:04am

Sofaspud · 02-05-2013 12:34am

Shared by a very religious American guy on Facebook. Definite Poe, but I'm fairly sure he's sincere.

sea_monkey · 02-05-2013 12:45am

surely only intelligent design could create such a booty

Hotblack Desiato · 02-05-2013 1:21am

Is there an echo in here?

Turtwig · 02-05-2013 1:23am

ninja900 wrote: »

Is there an echo in here?

Worztron · 02-05-2013 8:07am

Obliq · 02-05-2013 10:15am

sea_monkey wrote: »

surely only intelligent design could create such a booty

Yes, human "intelligence". Either photoshop, hydrogel injections or chicken fattening pills. Take your pick, but it's one of them for sure

Worztron · 02-05-2013 10:24am

robindch wrote: »

Prosperity Gospel fails to ensure prosperity for godman Benny Hinn who needs Lots of Money. Quickly.

http://www.christianpost.com/news/benny-hinn-asks-followers-for-2-5-million-to-get-out-of-debt-94822/

George Carlin: "Religion easily has the best bull**** story of all time. Think about it. Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man...living in the sky. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you. He loves you and he needs money."

robindch · 02-05-2013 10:52am

robindch · 02-05-2013 5:05pm

Was Jesus a hipster?

Well, he is in Brooklyn, albeit a badly photoshopped one:

http://www.salon.com/2013/04/23/catholic_diocese_of_brooklyn_jesus_was_the_original_hipster/
http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/brooklyn-diocese-launches-hipster-jesus-ad-campaign/
http://dioceseofbrooklyn.org/allfaces/

Bannasidhe · 02-05-2013 5:08pm

robindch wrote: »

Was Jesus a hipster?

Well, he is in Brooklyn, albeit a badly photoshopped one:

http://www.salon.com/2013/04/23/catholic_diocese_of_brooklyn_jesus_was_the_original_hipster/
http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/brooklyn-diocese-launches-hipster-jesus-ad-campaign/
http://dioceseofbrooklyn.org/allfaces/

Damn Hippies. :mad:

Turtwig · 02-05-2013 5:09pm

robindch wrote: »

Was Jesus a hipster?

Well, he is in Brooklyn, albeit a badly photoshopped one:

http://www.salon.com/2013/04/23/catholic_diocese_of_brooklyn_jesus_was_the_original_hipster/
http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/brooklyn-diocese-launches-hipster-jesus-ad-campaign/
http://dioceseofbrooklyn.org/allfaces/

https://us.v-cdn.net/6034073/uploads/attachments/25807/252072.jpg

^^^^
Chuckie? ? ?

PopePalpatine · 02-05-2013 7:05pm

Surely being the focus of a religion with 2 billion adherents is a tad mainstream? :pac:

Cienciano · 02-05-2013 10:05pm

koth wrote: »

Earth down to "don't masturbate"

Was about to post that, brilliantly illustrated how utterly meaningless having a **** is in relation to the universe.

Hotblack Desiato · 02-05-2013 11:25pm

Jernal wrote: »

^^^^
Chuckie? ? ?

Looks like he wasn't great at doing his shoelaces, either... just like Hipster Jesus!

Turtwig · 02-05-2013 11:28pm

ninja900 wrote: »

Looks like he wasn't great at doing his shoelaces, either... just like Hipster Jesus!

Which was why I made the inference in the first place.:pac:

Hotblack Desiato · 03-05-2013 12:23am

You'll need to make allowances Jernal - I was too old to see Rugrats myself but too young to have my kids see it

I thought the red runners were the common factor... but if some jew born out of wedlock 2000 years ago can have blue eyes and aryan features (it's in the illustrated bibles for kids, so must be true) can't he have been a redser as well?